Listen to me me me

Modern divas don't usually do big concepts because they are big concepts. Check the titles of the past few releases from the former (and in some cases, still) gold standard of golden voices: Just Whitney, Damita Jo, The Emancipation of Mimi. Me, me, mes. Dangerously in Love bucked the trend, but maybe that's because Beyonce hit the stratosphere only in that album's wake (she's looking down on us, ready to drop B' Day, and you know what that "B" stands for). And Janet will continue her tireless self-commentary when she celebrates two decades of media saturation with 20 Y.O. Shit, last time around even Christina Aguilera announced on her own album that she was offering "no hype, no gloss, no pretense, just me, stripped." Since at least the '90s, if not earlier, the R&B-based diva has brought this precious concept of musical confession to the grandeur of a mega-budget, highly constructed persona (down to the videos and hair) -- it's like singer-songwriters as Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons. (Note that I specify R&B-based because Madonna doesn't really enter this thread. To her credit, she has a knack for thoroughly integrating her persona into her large-scale concepts.)

On Back to Basics, Christina Aguilera is dressed in more clothes, more sound and, gasp, a concept she's been talking about every time a mic's on her: musical history. For going out on a limb and acknowledging that there are, you know, other people in the musical world (besides rappers that give you Urban Radio cred), Christina Aguilera deserves a pat on the chaps-less ass. There's an "I" near the middle of her tribute, of course (the album is meant to reflect the music she's loved since childhood), but still there's a moxie there that is barely evident in singers 10, 20 years her senior.

In presenting this concept, though, Christina unfortunately fails before she can start -- her look says '50s Hollywood, red-lipped glam, but she says the music is meant to reflect the "blues, jazz and soul music" of the "20s, 30s and 40s" (a huge umbrella of sounds and intentions that comes close to annihilating the whole concept of a concept). And besides, so much of the time the actual music says "mid-tempo, '90sish hip-hop soul" -- she fails after she starts, too, no matter how thrillingly DJ Premier's beats pop. The actual throwback songs that aren't merely influenced by, but attempt to replicate the aforementioned genres and time range from passé (is she trying to make us remember the 90's swing revival on the "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" rip-off "Candyman," with lines like, "He's a one-stop shop / Makes my cherry pop?"), to cartoonish (the burlesque "Nasty Naughty Boy" is all Jessica Rabbit) to ridiculous (she's talked a lot about messing with the mic to produce the crackly and all-too-standard 12-bar-blues-based "I Got Trouble" -- nothing like fabricated authenticity, right?).

Those songs run back-to-back-to-back in a stretch on Basics' second disc, which was produced and co-written solely with Linda Perry. But just when you think the pair are going to exhume Louis Armstrong's bones to use as a drum sticks (authenticity, authenticity, authenticity!), a fucking '80s hairspray-propelled power ballad breaks out ("Hurt"). It makes no sense and, furthermore, sucks, but mostly, it shows that Christina Aguilera has no business releasing two CDs worth of material. For all of Perry's clit-stroking praise of the risks Christina's taking here, there are so many safety nets cast -- the largest being the entire first disc, which gently hints at times of old, but mostly bumps amicably so as to assure continued airplay if and when the second single (the aforementioned "Candyman") flops. "The Right Man," a totally beatless wedding march about Christina's wedding day (with a twist of father-abandonment issues that seems forthcoming rather than exhibitionistic), is an exception. The Perry-produced track is conceptual, orchestral and, yes, risky enough to recall Kate Bush's creative peak, something that even Kate Bush can't really do anymore.

If Christina ultimately has little to say musically, she has even less to say literally ("You got what I want, boy, and I want it," anyone?). I believe that she has a major stake in her music's songwriting (at least, the lyrics) and because I believe this, I believe that she's really, really in love with Jordan Bratman as about half of Basics' 22 tracks are exuberant with romance (I also believe that he has a big cock, which she mentions on "Candyman"). I also believe that Christina has an Eminem-esque desire to air out her dirty laundry, and while she mentions in the above-linked Billboard.com article that she writes about her abusive father because domestic violence needs to be talked about, "Oh Mother" ("Oh, Mother, don't look back / 'Cause he'll never hurt us again") is really just "I'm OK, You're OK, Mommy." She's said it before. Even worse is "Still Dirrty," another one of those safety nets in which Christina apologizes for her cleaned-up image. Xtina isn't dead, just sleeping. In that track, she wonders, "Why is a woman's sexuality / Always under so much scrutiny / Why can't she do exactly as she please / Without bein' called a million things?" The fairness of the question is undermined by her selfish stake in it. People who orchestrate orgies in wrestling rings shouldn't throw condoms. The simple truth here is that she can't have it both ways -- she can't push the X that marks her asshole in people's faces and then bitch when they comment on the smell, even if it's years later. "Dirrty" was an amazing fuck-you to the vice of being labeled as teen-pop and, even more, a really fun portrayal unbridled budding sexuality. She already answered the question above, and now she's explicitly asking it. This is maturity?

But by far the worst statement Christina makes on Basics is that of "Thank You (Dedication To Fans...)." The track starts out sampling "Genie in a Bottle," but that might be the least self-indulgent thing about it. "Thank You" features the voices of over a dozen of Christina's fans saying what she means to them, which, in effect, means they are lavishing her with praise. Being selected to appear on a Christina Aguilera album is no doubt a thrill for those who piddle over the possibility of their hero being aware of their existence. But really, anyone who thinks that something like: "You're a classy, honest woman, both naughty and nice, ravishing, impressive, seductive and sexy. Christina, thank you so much. Please never stop," being put on their own album is a thank you to anyone but themselves is totally delusional. And, fair enough: we're dealing with an over-the-top, one-two punch of a former child star and a contemporary diva. She can't really be expected to transcend her ego, back-to-basics concept, be damned.

Of course, this is R&B we're talking about, a field where how you say is so, so much more important than what you say. This might be Basics' biggest shortcoming as Christina is virtually full force all the time here (it's almost shocking to go back and listen to Stripped after being assaulted by Basics -- she sounds practically nuanced on that earlier record). Yes her voice is an amazing, powerful instrument, but the display here is all show with very little regard to interpretation. The sore lack of dynamic range creates a pummeling monotony -- it's as though her point is to repeatedly blow your house down so that it falls in the exact same way every time. People credit Whitney and Mariah for getting the ball rolling on the melisma-happy, whip-you-with-their-belting divas of now, but both of those elder statesmen knew the exhilaration produced for the listeners by swooping in and out of forceful singing (and really, Mariah's voice has only amassed more character and likeablilty as it's deteriorated over the years). As she stands, Christina's this monument of talent that's bereft of subtlety, like a bronze statue of Prince with a boner. Christina is a Cliff's Notes diva who gets right down to intensity without bothering to build it. She is the embodiment of 24/7 this.

Fuck a concept, this is the failure you feel hardest on Basics because when Christina does offer the brief flicker of dynamic control or delicacy, no one alive -- not Whitney, not Mariah, certainly not Beyoncé -- can touch her. This is the reason why I devote this space to her (that and the fact that effort begets effort -- I really do admire her initiative, even if her execution is flawed). "Understand" opens with standard shouting that gives way to a gorgeously tiered chorus. A reedy sample of Betty Harris gasps, and in flutter a pack of mimicking Christinas in a high register, sounding impossibly sweet (impossible considering Christina's preferred growl). Another, more forcefully sung group of Christinas worms in, while the singular, throaty Christina vamps atop it all. It's like a vocal braid that shows Christina's ability to integrate with sounds of the past, as well as everything her voice has to offer. "Understand" packs everything Back to Basics wants to in a single, glorious chorus.

Even more amazing is "Save Me From Myself," which is quite possibly the best song I've heard all year. She's out of her element, stretching her voice to a higher register than usual so that she's barely recognizable, and setting it to just an acoustic guitar and a muted string quartet. "No belting, no vocal gymnastics, nothing crazy — I just wanted to make it super-simple and really raw," she says. "There's no reverb — and I'm a reverb queen — and no effects. Everything's stripped clean, super dry, very softly sung, up-close on the mic." Stripped, indeed. The lyrics aren't as simple as the arrangement -- alongside the sweet declaration of love to Bratman is something more foreboding, maybe a streak of self-destruction ("You always save me from myself"). The song's climax is devastating: "And don't ask me why I love you / It's obvious your tenderness is what I need to make me / A better woman to myself." It's an almost childishly simple testament to the necessity of love, as lucid as it is hokey. And, most triumphantly: it's the kind of egocentrism that just about anybody could get behind.

Comments

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

her conflation of "blues, jazz, and soul" is the giveaway that she has no idea what she's talking about, nevermind referencing. She probably saw a Vogue spread where the models all sported bobs and thin brows and she thought to herself "1920s! Jazz! That's it! OMG, i love that time"

You put it perfectly a few months ago when you said of Aguilera (and here i'm paraphrasing) that she has a good voice but can't sing. I think her overdone runs are the result of her trying too hard to convince listeners that she's not just the hooer that we think she is (or that she wants us to think she is, depending on whichever single is due for release).

Also, i really really need for her to stop surrounding herself with black back-up singers in her videos. Christina, we don't believe that they're actually your friends. We know they're on the clock and that, secretly, they don't think much of you either.

[Brandon]

Love her, love the album(s). Yeah, the whole project is self-indulgent, but so am I; and I admire that quality in someone else so talented.

[ww]

Why would her back up singers have to be her friends?

[Jock]

It's interesting to me that her "overdone runs" are referenced in the negative (which I agree with) but no one mentions that the queen of all vocal theatrics is that monkey-faced twat, Mariah

You can't be hatin' on one without hatin' on the other. They are of the same ilk. The difference is that Christina can, at least, sing. Mariah is too busy screeching like a howler monkey with a red-hot poker up it's ass. Her warbling makes me want to bloody my ears with an ice-pick.

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

WW-
i mean the way she uses the singers in the video (the latest one)...they're hanging out in her bedroom, playing albums, hair in curlers-- as though having black friends gives her some sort of credibility, you know?

[ohnoyoudi'int]

Right on Brandon. And Rich, "a monument to talent without subtlty" is so OTM. I doubt you ever said "she has a good voice but can't sing."

I hate that she bugs me so much while I'm singing along at the top of my lungs. She may be a demon, I'm not sure.

D-D-Do your thing, honey.

[inothernews]

I'm with ohnoyoudi'int. I always feel disappointed in Christina because I feel she has this amazing voice that she just keeps doing the same ol' crap with. I thought this album would be different....

...but oh, I can't help but singing along. And I still love "Come on Over." 10x.

[Gabriel]

I'm with you Rich. I've listened to the album many times and I can't seem to formulate an opinion about it, but I think it's because she can't seem to focus on anything. The album offers a couple of gems, but it feels a bit scattered.

[emily]

"a bronze statue of Prince with a boner." You've got what I want, Rich, at least when it comes to music criticism . . . and I want it.

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

alright, found the quote in question that i was paraphrasing
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2006/02/how_bout_them_g.html

hopefully that link will work.

[ohnoyoudi'int]

Ah. Well, I'm sure her good friends, the "black back-up singers," will console her when she learns the truth - that she can't sing.

They'll listen to some records, curl their hair ... just like in the video, which of course reflects her real life.

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

you're growing tiresome.
if you're going to be a bitchy little twunt, be a funny one.

[Rich]

I totally did say that she has a good voice, but can't sing, which is exaggerated, yes, but it does strike the fundamental point of what I see as sort of wasted talent.

And, guys, please be nice to each other.

[xnowhereboyx]

OK, you totally made up for, um, what I felt was wasted talent this week. Using Louis Armstrong's bones as drumsticks and the Kate Bush referendum melted my icy (heart) again.

[WW]

whatwouldjanicedickinsondo, ah now i see what you mean - i haven't seen the video - makes sense now!

[fanoffourfour&xtina]

That "fucking '80s hairspray-propelled power ballad " is the second single.

[Jackie]

"People who orchestrate orgies in wrestling rings shouldn't throw condoms."

^^ this slayed me.^^

[wendy]

Nice schmice. Who wants to read nice? Ohno, own your "twunt-ness".

[Ian]

I made the mistake of listening to the entire album in one go, and my ears are still ringing from all that zoot-suit riot. But I really do admire her for being one of the very few actually talented young performers in pop right now even though she is a pint-sized diva. And because she decided to paint her lips red and do an r&b big band album, she's got muchos cajones to pawn it off on 12-24 year olds. She's got credibility, a fact that's even more apparent now that Britney's changing diapers and Jessica's roller skating to "Holiday."

So congrats to her on this album and her well-hung hubbie. Mmhmmmmm

[Ian]

Rich, I sooo cannot wait to hear what you have to say about "Kelis Was Here" and "B'Day." I get a tingle just thinking about it.

[jb]

how much speed do you take a day?

[clb]

Whatever, I think she is one of the best if not the singer out now.... At least she is not a cookie cutter version of what the industry is trying to sell us.....

[gail]

ha ha, you said "a bronze statue of Prince with a boner."
i'm going to go commission that...

[Shipp]

THANK YOU.

[mandi]

Your writing is too good! I love it.

I really don't like Xtina - I respect her vocal skills, but vocal skills alone don't make an interesting pop star. To me she seems like a bitchy little ugly duckling who can't get over being hot with her fake titties. She allows her constructed sexuality to take over, but not in an interesting or ambiguous way like Madonna did. It's cold and harsh and uninviting. If she had some interesting music maybe I could get past it. But she doesn't.

I was just listening to Brandy's self-titled album from '94. It's so good, and an example of what a hot girl with a fab voice can do with R&B pop - make it danceable and personable. Who would ever think of writing a song about friendship these days? Xtina could use a little sweetness.