Need some more Dolls?

Will I ever tire of talking about Living Dolls? Probably not. At least, not until I get over my outrage of it not being available on DVD (it's an altruistic outrage -- I have it burned, but the world needs this!). Anyway, in last week's post, Danielle requested the clip in which Shane King sings "He's Still Working On Me." I'm happy to oblige.

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I think I'm really susceptible to the power of suggestion (and also really fucking stupid) because it was only yesterday that it occurred to me that this is a religious song (not that the "according to His plan" line should have tipped me off or anything). I think having it intercut with scenes of Swan Brooner getting prepared for her headshots made me think that "working on" meant "beautifying." Alternately, I thought maybe the song was about getting "worked on" as in a massage or sexual way, since, you know, gays loooove getting worked on. Or so I hear.

But I don't really blame myself for being confused. Even in my present enlightened state, I'm still scratching my head over by the song's conflation of creationism and evolution, a message that's further complicated by the flamingly homosexual delivery. This point is actually my favorite of the clip -- I love how Swan totally has a crush on him ("You look handsome!"). And Shane totally takes that as a compliment, too. You can practically see Swan's future of falling head over heels for fags, over and over in a flamboyant series of somersaults, unfurl before your eyes. Awwww!

The next clip is of some unnamed girl performing "Lipstick on Your Collar" at a pageant. I'd say something smart-assed about the sequined lipstick on her collar that's equally literal-minded and confused, but considering the painted men who paint the painted babies that populate her life, I think such gender confusion is to be expected. The best part of this, though, is the girl's overwhelming enthusiasm. You can tell she just loves performing by the expression on her face when she's finished.

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Yeah.

And, finally, here's a clip of the mother of Reed Hale (he who enjoys playing in the dirt and watching Unsolved Mysteries) talking about her son.

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It's nice to hear someone actually verbalize the age-old struggle of human growth hormone versus pageants. Everyone's been thinking it, no one's brave enough to say it!

Also: WET UNDERWEAR. She compares her child to WEARING WET UNDERWEAR. I don't even want to know why it's wet in the first place.

Comments

[brandy]

I'll never tire of this!

I think that look on Lipsticks face at the end is the look you get when your soul is sucked out of your body.

[Holly]

Shane's laugh is like a Jackal. Can you copy the entire show to your site? My eyes will be glued to the screen like the wet underwear on the ass of Reed's mom. I for one, and I'm sure I'm of the masses, can't get enough of this shit ever. Keep the madness coming! You're the best!!

[Scout]

Rich,

I looooove your brain.

[Josie]

Please, for the love of God and beauty pageants, if you have the whole documentary, put it on YouTube. Please. It'll have to tide us over until the DVD comes out with Swan's commentary track.

[Summer A]

I wonder if there's a place where you can download the whole movie.

PS Rich, check your email, I sent you a very interesting email.

[Jaime]

Thanks for posting those hilarious clips!

[Gretchen Weiners]

Does that kid have a mullet? I've never been more disturbed or entertained on a Tuesday afternoon. Love how the mother debates between human growth hormone and pageants like she's trying to decide whether to give the kid orange juice or apple juice for breakfast.

[hot toddy]

So glad I found you. You are now my official source for Project Runway recaps from now till infinity.

[Rocco]

Lets Play Operation Mouth.

loves it. btw, do you listen to Tim Gunn's podcast?

more chunk post.

[SarahMonster]

I've been dying to see this documentary. And you speak so highly of it! (You are my most trusted resource for arts'n'entertainment news.)
Would you be so kind as to make clips of the entire thing? What is it two hours? Youtube's got a 10-minute cut off? Hey, thats only 12 little videos!
Pleeeeeeeeeeease?

[Danielle]

I am dying the most prefect death from request fulfillment...thank you, Rich.

xo

[kdub]

Swan's got the demeanor of a flirty 40-year-old at the end of that clip. That is creepy.

[brandy]

Rich,

I think you should just reenact the whole documentary but with Winston and Rudy and perhaps some popsicle stick puppets to fill in the gaps.
Now that's entertainment!

(please note that I am joking...kind of.)

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

what, no footage of Swan's super-aged dad?
aw, shucks.

great job as always Rich.

[Tootie]

Rich, did you ever know that you're my hero?
And here I was thinking I was the only one obsessed with Living Dolls. Now if you could just become obsessed with Painted Babies, then I would know we were separated at birth.

[Ashley]

I love you and all that you do.

So awesome. I love that documentary so much. From the brother crying out for help to the 4 ft high trophies.

There's another pageant documentary with older girls where they practice the pageant wave - elbow elbow wrist wrist hand on heart hand on pearls - do you know it? I only saw it once on HBO or showtime most likely.

[Arthur James]

Is there some sort of rehab for this...cause I am muvaeffin addickted! To this and lip chap. :-)

[Kat]

So, I really need to see this. Too bad I don't have HBO. Damn.

How long before someone can find Swan's Myspace page? ;)

[Miss Kitty]

I hate those kind of Southern mamas, esp. poor little Reed's mama. Ugh. I grew up with so many of these fake people, and their children generally end up unhappy and depressed later in life--the result of never being able to get enough attention (or win enough pageants) to make Mama happy. And as the old Southern phrase goes: if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

[elb]

Um, can we talk about human growth hormone?

[Paddy]

Was wondering whether you might post a downloadable version on a torrent site somewhere? I've searched everywhere for this video, even going as far as writing to CBC Canada who once showed it as on their documentary channel.

[leisa]

Now I am DEEPLY disturbed.