Need some more Dolls?

Will I ever tire of talking about Living Dolls? Probably not. At least, not until I get over my outrage of it not being available on DVD (it's an altruistic outrage -- I have it burned, but the world needs this!). Anyway, in last week's post, Danielle requested the clip in which Shane King sings "He's Still Working On Me." I'm happy to oblige.

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I think I'm really susceptible to the power of suggestion (and also really fucking stupid) because it was only yesterday that it occurred to me that this is a religious song (not that the "according to His plan" line should have tipped me off or anything). I think having it intercut with scenes of Swan Brooner getting prepared for her headshots made me think that "working on" meant "beautifying." Alternately, I thought maybe the song was about getting "worked on" as in a massage or sexual way, since, you know, gays loooove getting worked on. Or so I hear.

But I don't really blame myself for being confused. Even in my present enlightened state, I'm still scratching my head over by the song's conflation of creationism and evolution, a message that's further complicated by the flamingly homosexual delivery. This point is actually my favorite of the clip -- I love how Swan totally has a crush on him ("You look handsome!"). And Shane totally takes that as a compliment, too. You can practically see Swan's future of falling head over heels for fags, over and over in a flamboyant series of somersaults, unfurl before your eyes. Awwww!

The next clip is of some unnamed girl performing "Lipstick on Your Collar" at a pageant. I'd say something smart-assed about the sequined lipstick on her collar that's equally literal-minded and confused, but considering the painted men who paint the painted babies that populate her life, I think such gender confusion is to be expected. The best part of this, though, is the girl's overwhelming enthusiasm. You can tell she just loves performing by the expression on her face when she's finished.

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Yeah.

And, finally, here's a clip of the mother of Reed Hale (he who enjoys playing in the dirt and watching Unsolved Mysteries) talking about her son.

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It's nice to hear someone actually verbalize the age-old struggle of human growth hormone versus pageants. Everyone's been thinking it, no one's brave enough to say it!

Also: WET UNDERWEAR. She compares her child to WEARING WET UNDERWEAR. I don't even want to know why it's wet in the first place.

Comments

[Orchide]

Rich, this is golden. Being from Louisiana myself, I am taken back to cheesy local pageants and scary hair and the Bible songs.
I need to own this movie and screen it every night as I drift off in a hazy "dolls"-induced stupor.
Lord love ya...thanks for making my night...xo

[Angelsoulnme]

It's nice to hear someone actually verbalize the age-old struggle of human growth hormone versus pageants...

OMG I just CANNOT take it!!! LMAO ... The sarcasim, the WIT! Too funny Rich, too funny.

[Nic]

Don't know if you saw it, but I was watching JanDick last night and in a commercial for JanDick, they show quotes from different publications, raving about the show, and the second one is:

"It's really nice to watch Janice Dickinson insult people again."
-four four

[inothernews]

Rich, I had never heard of this crazy docu until you posted (and posted, and posted) about it...now I HAVE to see it in full! The search begins...

[Lara]

i saw this commentary while visiting my mom (we're both born and raised in canada, but she lives in the deep south, in rural Georgia). she was so horrified that she forced me to change the channel. every time she left the room, i'd switch it back, though. i ended up seeing the whole thing, but it was in bits and pieces over a few days.
yes, it's horrifying. and yes, i can't stop watching it. i'm glad i'm not the only one.

[buzz]

Rich, you have to see LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE -- the last part takes place at one of these pageants and it's TERRIFYING. From the looks of it, they really hit the nail on the head.

And you got pull-quoted by Janice?!?!? That's AWESOME!!!

[BK]

Why? I've never understood why baby girls should be dressed to look like grown women. And the poor little boy, "wet underwear" sick!

[Lisa V]

I watched this more than once when it was on HBO. I was compelled to watch it. I still watch your clips over and over. What keeps coming back to me is that very little girl, not really wanting to do all this, but the adults forcing her to. I think there are parts she enjoyed-it's dress up, but my heart still breaks for her.

[Gillian]

Oh, thank you! I haven't seen this documentary in years. I loved the first post of course, but the movie clips are just great. That mullet...

[matt]

I just can never get over how pretty swan looks when she's not dolled up for pagents, compared to how hideous she looks while dolled up.

and maybe reed's mommy is just down with watersports.

[Kat]

I saw your namecheck in Rolling Stone! So awesome, that Florrie post.

[Jude]

This is some of the sickest shit...EVAR. And I love it.

That kid in the second clip sings like she's a dog who's just been neutered without anesthesia.

[Lady Prisspott]

Are elb and me the only ones troubled by the fact that Reed is being put on human growth hormone? This is a controversial practice with potentialy harmful side effects done for no other reason than the child is short. If the insurance isn't paying for it then there is no valid medical reason for it and it is being done because she wants a taller kid. This woman's vanity knows no bounds. She's willing to subject her child to years of regular injections and ethically questionable procedures not to mention warping his mind with these pagents. Where's CPS???

Rich, thanks for not cluttering up your blog with too many ads.

[Y]

Will you please move in with me so that we can watch TV together?

[sean]

I always wished my mommy would have done that to me.

[Jacquie]

Babystepping into the world of pageants via this blog is about all I can take. The whole thing scares the shit out of me. Great clips.
Wet underwear. Nightmares.

[Keisha]

I REALLY wish I could watch this movie. It's eerily adorable/creepy how everything aboutg Swan Brooner w/o her makeup on still = middle-aged drunken housewife. Smeared makeup, leaning while seated in the large chair, flirting w/ a gay man bc she's too oblivious to notice/understand...

Anyway, is this different from a doc called "Painted Babies" that Andrew Cohen from Bravo referenced on his blog? He said the pageant scenes in "Little Miss Sunshine" are exact replicas from a doc called Painted Babies.

[Keisha]

Also, a sure sign (disregarding the wet underwear reference) that the little boy's mom has issues - he has a MULLET. Let that attest to anyone's mental problems, if they are too young to obviously choose/see the probs in style.

[Kiso]

I think Reed has just as big a boner for Shane as Swannie does.

and as for wet underwear.... maybe it's the humidity in the south... whatever the reason... it's making me mighty happy replaying that clip over an' over.

[misa]

you are consistently brilliant. I love you.

[fifi]

PLEASE...I want to see Winston photoshopped into Swan's curled blond extensions, as brandy suggested....pretty please? he has that heart-shaped face, complete with put-out expression...

[merritt]

Have you seen Little Miss Sunshine? It has some lovely beauty pageant scenes at the end. The little made up girls strutting around in bikinis was so disturbing.

[SJ]

FREAKY, yo. This is one of the best blogs of all time. :)

[Francesca]

Please please post more! I want to see this film so badly now.