Mondo Kayne

Kayne isn't a bitch, he just plays one on TV. And here, I thought he couldn't help but perpetuate the stereotype of the bitchy queen! I think pretending to be one is a wonderful way to win friends and influence people.

During his time of elimination, our little seamstress (?!?) kept it together. All he had to do was meditate and repeat his mantra: "Destiny's Child, Destiny's Child..."

But really, with Kayne gone, who will pick up his bitchy slack? Oh right: Laura, Jeffrey, Uli (sometimes!) and Michael. No homo.

Blahblahblah, designs. I was happy that Laura's won. Not because I had any strong feelings for it (I didn't think it looked nearly as young as everyone would have you believe), but because I like Laura. Instead of posting a shot of her dress, here's a shot of what really matters:

Victory. Because on reality TV personal attachment is everything.

Kayne's dress on the other hand...

It looks like if he had more time (and the opportunity for a larger color palate), he would have woven a dreamcatcher into that thing.

Nah. I'm sure he'd be all, "A dreamcatcher on the back of a dress? Waaaay too subtle!"

Blahblahblah.

1. It was nice to be able to hold Vincent once again. I love that as soon as he returned, he brought crazy back...

He greeted everyone Fran Drescher-style...

...almost tripped...

...and then appeared to have spotted the biggest, scariest glass of champagne this side of Jubilee Jumbles.

And then, he talked to his imaginary friends. "You guys are so nice, all right." Know why? He's...

(insane)

I mean...

Hello?

Hmmmm. Maybe that explains why he's so obsessed with sex. Maybe that explains why he'd describe a situation as "sticky" or talk about the need to "do my thing." For real, when he talked about making "beautiful music," all I could think of was "Justified My Continued Presence in This Competition." It's like he knows.

You know that form did not miss him or his busy hands.

2. OK, so I don't hate Jeffrey anymore. Part of it's that he's become way too easy of a villain to latch onto (stop telling me how to feel, Bravo!). But I was thinking and if I had to live with these people, I'd probably want to be a prick, too. I doubt I'd be inappropriate enough to actually treat people the way Jeffrey does, but you know, it's kind of cool to watch id do its thing, you know?

Plus, he made a "special" joke. What's not to love?

I really did like, though, his "...it's never a party" and "good news" commentary. When he isn't masturbating openly on camera, he can be kinda witty.

And so goth!

3. OMG! Michael likes to put long, hard objects in his mouth! That must make him...

...concerned with dental hygiene.

Have you noticed, though, that the show has begun blandifying him again? There are so few left, and we hear from him as much as we did in the first few episodes. That sucks because Michael doesn't even have to try to be amusing. I mean, he, too, is very, very goth.

Plus...

...all he has to do is just open his mouth and out comes a gem like "working girl" (I.E. a whore outside of church).

But for real...

...spot-on assessment. The only thing better was Tim's...

"Oh, Jesus." Quote of the season.

4. Now I think Laura's gay.

That limp wrist!

Just kidding. But I do really think that she's a zombie.

Kayne bit her.

5. And speaking of horror, why can't Collier Strong be confined to his weekly interstitial creepshow? Why'd he have to actually take part in this episode?

Why?

6. Kayne compared Vincent and Angela to cockroaches for returning to the competition after being eliminated.

Since he's been around for so long, that kinda makes him like Cher, right?

Except he doesn't get to come back. Ever!

Dude!

7. What does this mean?

In the upper right, it probably says, "Dice my cheese," but it looks like it says, "Dick my cheese." That would explain the "Ha, ha, ha!" anyway. I think someone let Vincent (Vincci?) have the chalk again. He probably ate it when he was finished writing.

8.

Angela thinks fleurchons are preshhhhhhusssssss.

And I thought this was priceless:

She used the Macy's accessory wall for the forces of evil!

I'd report on Nina's reaction to this...

...but I'm too entranced by her flyaways.

I point this out with love, of course. She is a treasure.

9. Even though I feel like skin contact with his hair would cause an immediate breakout or rash or perhaps case of syphilis, I think Zac Posen is kinda hot.

I think it's the eyebrows.

Congrats, Zac! Someone on the Internet thinks you're dreamy. Here, have a cigar...

(It's amazing how much his eyebrow looks like a blunt when you put it in his mouth, isn't it?)

10.

"Fragile."

Also, nice Uli impression.

Also, I like when he compared Jeffrey's designs to Gwen Stefani. While it's reasonable that Michael could perceive Jeffrey to be goth and his designs to be more on the pseudo-Harajuku tip, I like to think that Michael thinks that Gwen Stefani is goth, too.

11. Hee!

Somewhere, Robert is biting his pillow. That has nothing to do with the results of this poll.

12.

Heidi's hair here looks like it was designed by H.R. Giger.

Also, what a bitch.

"Are you ready for your next challenge? Too bad."

"I'm not telling you anything." (Vincent's crestfallen, "OK" there is heartbreaking.)

Anyway, I love her all cold and nasty. Great that she has a power suit to go with her powerbitch persona. The only thing better would be a nice-looking bolero.

Here's what Heidi looked like when she first announced that there would be special guests.

You can see that she is the specialest of them all.

Comments

[Oujisama-san]

FIIIIIIIIIIIRST

[inothernews]

I am glad I am not the only one who thinks Zac Posen is good-looking cause my friend kept making fun of me.

Spot on again! I am glad you captured the chalkboard because I was straining to read it...I was concerned that this week's challenge would throw off my predictions, but my predictions are still on. I predicted Laura goes home next week, but maybe not!

[inothernews]

Gah, I just posted and saw the other comment---I hate FIIIIIRST-style comments SO much. SAY SOMETHING USEFUL PLEASE.

[Hahaha]

THIIIIIIIIIRDDDDDDD

[katie]

This is not pink is the new blog. This is fourfour. It's in a whole different echelon of awesome. Show some respect and lose the Fiiiiirst comments.

[david]

thank god. i have been refreshing all morning to get a glimpse of your wonderful recap.

monday's suck...but not as much as angela!

[david]

and an addendum...

am i the only one (besides kors) who is getting seriously sick of uli? anyone? anyone?

[Talix18]

Tim's "Oh Jesus"? Looped, it would be the perfect ringtone.

[Jessica]

Honestly, Kayne's dreamcatcher?? I'm *dying* of laughter over here. Priceless!

(Oh, and today was one of those rare Mondays where I forget the PR recap is up, and then I find it on accident and it automatically elevates my day. Thank goodness for that.)

[Joe]

Hooray! It's Monday FourFour recap! I think Jeffrey is gonna win, which f'in sucks, though I am still rooting for Mikey. Zak Posen is dreamy, but looks like he's 12. Didn't Jia get hit by a BUS?!? Tim Gunn was all, "She'll be okay" when Vincent asked what happened. Understatement. Love it.

Cannot wait for ANTM on Wednesday - 12 girls with deep, almost terminal insecurities pitted against each other on who's prettiest. F'in GENIUS!

[inothernews]

Yeah, Jia got hit by a bus. It said in the credits that she was in a bike accident which sounds like nothing. Yeah, a bike being hit by a BUS!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/434634p-366199c.html

[Talix18]

"She was dragged underneath the bus," her agent, Avenue Models' Javier Hernandez, told us [after the debut of PR season three]. "She fractured her skull and her eye socket and was in critical condition for three days. Now she has been in intensive care for a month."

I think "understatement" is an understatement.

[racoonsrool]

Zac Posen is like 24 and is losing his hair- poor lil queenie.

[Akbar Fazil]

Ive seen the final 4's presentation at Fashion Week. (yes, im a bad spoiler junkie) Dont read if you dont want to know anything.

Based off of the outfits my money is on Jeffery being the next one to go home leaving Micheal, Laura and Uli in. And for the win? Micheal. (but then I thought Daniel was a shoe in last year for a win and Chloe won with her walking upholstry)

[pricolatino]

As much as I like Uli, every dress she makes has what I've come to know as the "Uli neckline". And I would've liked to have heard your opinion of Jeffrey's goth working girl outfit.

[Hope]

Jeffrey should have gone home. His outfit made his model look like Punky Brewster. Post boob-reduction, of course.

[FoxxyBrown]

Did anyone else go to Emmett's store this weekend to see Tim Gunn? He's so cute in person! Such a dapper little Dan. Saw Emmett (of course), Nick Vereos, and maybe a female designer but I forget who. Kara? Someone said Allison was there but I didn't see her. Chloe, Kara, Nick and Emmett's clothes are on sale at the store. Chloe's stuff looks good. Kara's looks like a Jedi Night smoking jacket. Emmett's stuff is really stuffy. Nick's stuff is great.

[pricolatino]

Loved when Angela explained that as a bag designer, she often stuffs her bags with fabric to give them shape, and then opened that tiny bag and pulled out enough fabric to make a second dress. Priceless.

And does she own any skirts that don't look like an overstuffed diaper?

[FoxxyBrown]

Angela and Vincent screwed up on this challenge so badly, it was embarrassing. But what I don't get is why Laura had a pattern with her at Mood. Is that from another challenge?

[Penny Woods]

Actually, um, hahaha, you're FOURRRRRRRRRRRRRTH.

Comments like the FIIIIIIIRST comment are the reasons why "first" comments should be never used in any blog entry--they make people look stupid.

Back to the recap--I don't know what I like better--the dreamcatcher dress by Mr. Bob Mackie of Project Runway, the 40-Year Old Virgin parody or Heidi's alien hair. Brilliant!

[FoxxyBrown]

Regarding the fashion week spoiler -- I'd be bummed if Jeffrey isn't in the final 3. He's finally growing on me. And I certainly do not want to see FOURTEEN Uli dresses!

[ww]

Did anyone catch that nasty look that heidi shot kors after he was done doing his Uli/German impression? icy!!

Ya'll can check out the Final Four runway show from NY's Fashion Week at the following link:

http://editorial.gettyimages.com/ms_gins/source/home/home.aspx?pg=1

Just do a search on each designer & Enjoy...and Does Michael Kors only own ONE outfit???

[Chris in L.A.]

FYI...All of the Final Four get to show their collection during fashion week...we dont know which of the 4 are the top 3.

[Kathy]

Your observations are simply priceless!

So what's on the table between Kayne and those shoes? Did Laura lend him her whip as inspiration?