From what I understand, Cycle 8 of ANTM premieres Feb. 21. If you're like me and you just can't wait to be disappointed by the show all over again (just sooooo excited for that!), here's something to tide you over: a 6-part weekly animated online parody of the show dubbed Cycle 7.5. It's put together by someone who goes by MAXAM and it's consistently dead-on in its sending up of ANTM conventions like the shock that comes from seeing photos before they've been retouched, Tyra's obsession with Naomi Campbell and, of course, rampant crying. My favorite bit involves the sexiness of a scared bunny.
Oh, and since this gives me an excuse to rag on Ty Ty (it's been so long!), did you see the recent shots of her up on Crunk & Disorderly? Here's one:
You know, after Yvonne DeCarlo's recent death, I figured someone else would have to step up to the plate and take on the role of Lily Monster. Who knew it would happen so soon?!
And finally, last week, Gawker got all kinds of pedantic about Vanity Fair misquoting Tyra's at least weekly refrain of, "Congratulations, you're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model." VF cleaned it up to read "...to become..." Good point, Gawks. Stupid Condé Nast, don't you know that you can't clean Tyra up? It's funny that even though Tyra contends that her ANTM persona is a "character" (there's almost a whole column devoted to it in the article), it's still too real for Vanity Fair.
Thanks for this!
You shoudl do weekly recaps for I love New York while we wait for next cycle!
Posted by: cindy | January 23, 2007 at 11:55 AM
Second!
Thanks for the Maxam ANTM Cycle 7.5 link! That's totally going to help me get through till the next season starts in February.
Oh, and the description of Tyra's mess of a photo-op is spot on!
Keep it real, Rich!
Posted by: bobo down the block ... | January 23, 2007 at 12:39 PM
Thanks for the link! Tyty seems to be aging pretty damn fast for a..what? 33 year old?
Posted by: deeyou | January 23, 2007 at 01:13 PM
I bet you the girls from the 7.5 cycle look better then the girls that are going to be on the 8th!
Posted by: BayBB | January 23, 2007 at 01:50 PM
Vanity Fair also is responsible for this:
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701
So they can suck it, times two!
Posted by: Audrey | January 23, 2007 at 02:15 PM
oh man, cycle 7.5 is awesome. i love the depictions of the judging panel. sweet link.
Posted by: Lauren | January 23, 2007 at 02:27 PM
So who is writing for ANTM now? Is it going to be as abysmal as last season's writings? In any case, I know we can count on Rich to make us laugh, and cry, and have it become a part of us.
Posted by: kdub | January 23, 2007 at 03:26 PM
Why does that ANTM image make me think of the cover of Free To Be You And Me?
Posted by: Ridwah | January 23, 2007 at 03:36 PM
miss tyra better come to grips with gravity soon. it gets tougher to fight the older you get.
as always rich, you can always make me laugh when i'm feeling my most miserable. thanksxxxx
Posted by: amy | January 23, 2007 at 03:52 PM
Tyra you magnificent beast! Can't wait for the next cycle (I thought cycle 7 was sooo retarded and yet I'm still excited about 8... very, very devilish of her). And of course can not wait for your recaps Rich! HEY Y'ALL, RICH RECAPS "I LOVE NEW YORK" VIA CELEBREALITY... SEE THE LINK UNDER THE BANNER TO THE RIGHT. Same delicious Rich goodness, but guuuurl the comments/readers are not the same.
P.S. Love the banner! I'mo go listen to Bobby Womack now...
Posted by: mariaaaaa | January 23, 2007 at 04:04 PM
pam grier is awful on the L word
Posted by: jerri | January 23, 2007 at 05:00 PM
amazing, i was crying from laughing so hard. The bunny, oh my god. i was cracking up!
Posted by: shlibbityshibbiltysimno | January 23, 2007 at 05:16 PM
Thanks for the Maxam link. And your post before this one is downright scholarly, sir.
Posted by: SJ | January 23, 2007 at 05:23 PM
Her nose is starting to look all Grinch-like. Tyra, of all people, should know that that's the wrong kind of fierce.
Posted by: wingus, dingus... listen up: | January 23, 2007 at 06:38 PM
Poor Anorexita never had a chance to show her true personality. Gone too soon! I got Naomi and "Tyra" in the final 2. Secretly, I'm rooting for Funkalicia. It's time for a big girl to take it home.
Posted by: Joe | January 23, 2007 at 07:07 PM
I can't believe it's almost that time again!
Posted by: liz | January 23, 2007 at 07:32 PM
New Jersey's gonna win!!!
Posted by: NewJerseyFan | January 23, 2007 at 10:53 PM
This post is the only reason I know about the upcoming season; shows how much more I've come to enjoy your recaps than the actual show, Rich.
Excellent.
Posted by: ♥dex | January 24, 2007 at 01:56 AM
Any idea why they do two a year? Didn't cycle 7 just end in December?
Posted by: kestrien | January 24, 2007 at 05:41 PM
Tyra lashes out about her Vag-arms!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20009611,00.html
Posted by: Amanda | January 24, 2007 at 05:56 PM
Oh dear lord. Thank you for the link, Maxam is a clever little bugger!
Posted by: angela | January 25, 2007 at 04:38 PM
7.5 is the funniest thing I've seen since...since...well, since 7.0. Thanks for turning us on to this gem!
Posted by: twink | January 26, 2007 at 01:38 PM
i think it would be Lily Munster, not Monster. Or maybe it was an intentional slip? :)
Posted by: katy | January 27, 2007 at 02:25 AM
It looks like Tyra has had some work done, or am I the only one to notice that?
Also, isn't she wearing contacts in this picture? Look closely...
Didn't she trip on Anchal over her blue contacts? I thought it was all about natural African beauty. *cough*
Posted by: Ruthie | January 31, 2007 at 05:53 PM
at first i hated the cycle 7.5 because i thought it was just another bad animation/bad voiceover gimmick, but i have to say the storylines are pretty damn funny. good writing always wins me over.
Posted by: methinks | February 01, 2007 at 08:05 PM