Faces of Winston

My boyfriend recently bought a Mac. Being a PC loyalist coping with the discovery that a loved one is a Mac person is, I imagine, like being a kind-hearted but circumstantially ignorant straight person who discovers that someone close to them is gay: you're supportive but concerned about the bigger picture. It's a cold world back there in our makeshift office, and I just don't want that Mac to mistreat him, is all. I gently suggested that he try not being a Mac person, but apparently things don't work that way. Oh well. All I know is what I hear on Oprah.

Anyway, one great thing about this new Mac is its built-in webcam. Frankly, I cannot wait to start masturbating furiously for all of the Xtube community to enjoy. Just kidding -- I want Winston to masturbate furiously on Xtube. Then he'll really be a star. Until he learns how, though, here's the next best thing: distorted shots of his face via Mac's insanely addictive Photo Booth program.

Like his face isn't fucked up as it is, right?   

You can click on many (but not all) of these, to enlarge them, by the way. All captions are under the picture they're describing (I tend to mix things up normally in that respect, but I'm keeping them uniform in this post for the sake of clarity).

What is he, fuckin' Burmese or something?

Mean bunny rabbit.

Meaner bunny rabbit.

 

Ever since Gizmo died, I've wanted another guinea pig. Thank you, Easter Bunny!

Doesn't the shot above look like a super-magnified closeup of an insect? He'll eat you after you mate with him.

If you look at his two little duplicate noses as one big nose, he begins to look like Patti LaBelle. It's as though he knows I'm gay! 

Winston wasn't like the other orangutans. No opposable thumbs, for one thing...

"Please sir, will you help me solve my Encyclopedia Brown mystery? Verrrrrry curious!"

"Anyone else smell something funny?"

A sign of intelligent life, perhaps?

Who will edit The Paris Review when he dies?

Here, he looks like my paternal grandfather.

And here, he looks like my paternal grandfather exasperated, as he inevitably would be every time he watched Jeopardy! or went through the McDonald's drive thru.

Here, he's saying, as freaks of nature often do to whomever happens to be near them, "Kill me."

He really means it, too.    

Comments

[stellakowalski]

if you're into fucked up things check this out, it wasn't funny at first but i can't stop watching it now and it has, in fact, become my muse.

http://whatyouseewhenyoudie.ytmnd.com/

be sure to watch with sound or you lose the whole point....

[Muzi]

I just got my MacBook and screwing with the camera was the first thing i did. All this technology and all i do is make goofy faces. God Bless America.

[Rebecca]

the first pic of winston looks like the face of god <3