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You seriously need a book. Prose of such magnificence needs to be printed and bound.


"Roses are red, poems are stupid". Did I misinterpret? Trick please obviously doesn't think so.

Don't think I'm a humerlous bitch - I just find it disappointing how little respect poetry gets these days...


And if you ever did decide to give it another shot, some good ones to try are Robert Creeley, Rimbaud, Al Purdy, Mark Strand and Li Po.


I can't work now! I think the poetry bug has bitten me and all I want to do is write it now!

Sir Daniel A

"I don't like the crotch on you.." priceless R.Kelly reference..My cheeks hurt from laughing.

Merriam Webster

Hey Lulu,
And I just find it disappointing how little respect spelling gets these days. Humerlous? Nice try at a literary defense but I think you need to get thee to a dictionary.


I soooooo don't give a shit about Whitman either! And I was an English major! Can't stand him.

"Now make me a sandwich" is a beautiful line, though I believe that poem was more


Hey MW,
ouch - that really hurts! You are so clever - feel proud for engaging in some meaningful dialogue.


Literally laughing out loud at your poems, you made my Valentine's Day!!!


ahh fantastic, I want to send them to all my friends. I was reading this in a library (ill-advised!) and couldn't stop laughing and now people are looking at me, shit!


Your 'Woman Laughing in the Night' is genius.

Also, I'm getting that DS thinks that poetry is created via aggressive use of the return key.

...Meanwhile, she'll make more on this book than I will in the next 5 years. Fucker.

Catherine Cantieri

"You are a diplomat, young twink" -- Awesome! I kinda hope Danielynn *is* your daughter; thus far, you're the best possible option. Happy VD, boo.



I was eating cereal during that, and after "Are You Comfortable?", I had to stop from a mixture of laughing and disgust (that roach thing ... seriously...ew).

And of course you're Danielynn's baby. Everyone is.


Rosie O'Donnell is also a great poetesss.


Rich, will you be my Internet boyfriend?

Queen Lena

GENIUS, Rich are you a fucking genius.

I took a creative writing class last year, and I wanted to kill some of the people there. There was this one fat greasy guy who would do something similar, but actually made his poems rhyme; so you had lines that were just thrown in, like a soup. The worst part about it is that every time he would share his "poetry" with the class, he wouldn't read just one poem. Oh no, he would read like four. And most of them were like a page long. Then he would have the nerve to criticize the best writer in our class because, basically, he wrote (excellently) in free verse.

In conclusion, I need to write a book about that disturbing man-boy.


Fucking priceless, Rich! I thought I loved you before but*sniff, sniff*

"...I'm afraid of carrots." *dying*

"Make me a sandwich." Bwaahahahahahahah!!!


Though I'd never read it before today, the refrain from "Are You Comfortable?" has frequently popped into my head during episodes of Top Design.

Dash Riprock

As far as I care, the only poem that matters is:

Milk milk, lemonade
'round the corner
fudge is made

We were all poets in 2nd grade


"Roses are red, poems are stupid". Did I misinterpret? Trick please obviously doesn't think so.

Of course you did! I don't really think that poems are stupid. I'd never dismiss any medium outright, even if I have no interest in it.

I think a lot of poems are stupid, though -- especially these. That's all I meant.

trick please

I make no apologies for disliking poetry and usually have no problems with most 'poets'- except the ones who think they are Frost, Keats or Langston Hughes reincarnated. Perhaps their kind of poetry is for a more eclectic crowd - a crowd that acts like appreciation of poetry is a sign of civility.

Me, I just prefer prose.

Now, hoping to recite a slightly modified version of 'Zippity Click' laters.

Lulu, it's not that serious ok. People like what they like.


I feel so much closer to you now. So much closer.


This stanza - kille me - by itself:

Woman laughing in the night,
are you offering me a freebie?
I don't swing that way and I can see a sore on your verginia from across the street,
but who am I to pass up a bargain?


I can smell the piss on your panties and for that,
I do not like the crotch on you.

I like how both lines reaffirm that you are not R. Kelly. Bravo.



basically bc of posts like this.

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