So so sauro!

In the comments for last week's Jesus Camp post, a few people asked if I'd seen Alexandra Pelosi's Friends of God: A Roadtrip, which aired the week before on HBO. I had, and just days after seeing Jesus Camp. My life was an evangelical explosion for a while.

I find myself increasingly obsessed with creationism -- I think it's awesome. Not awesome in the biblical way, but awesome nonetheless, and that's something, right? The creationism segment of Friends of God hit me the hardest (and, like I said in the JC post, I fell in love with that movie as soon as the home-schooling mother said, "Did you get to the part on here where it says that science doesn't prove anything?"). It hit me so hard, in fact, that I was going to upload to YouTube, until I discovered that I'd been beaten by like five different people. A creationist craze! Anyway, here it is, if you're curious:

(Download)

I know by now that I'm preaching to the uninterested in converting (so to speak), but I would like to note Ken Ham's feeding of misinformation ("Did your grandfather look like that?") to children to get them to believe what he wants them to. I would also like to note that Ken Ham is among the most chimpanzee-looking motherfuckers that I've ever seen in my life. I mean, the framing facial hair? Really, Ken? I really, really, really, really love that someone so ape-like is teaching people to turn their backs on evolution. I wonder if shame informs his beliefs at all.

Also, I cannot get Buddy Davis' song out of my head. When it's not some faggy ass dance song I'm sure I'm going to hell for enjoying that's mincing around my mind, it's "Behemoth is a dinosaur, a dinosaur is he..." lumbering in a big loop. And, actually, when it isn't either of those two things, it's "A mighty sauropahhhhhhhhhd" over and over and over again. In fact it's time for a new ringtone, and so it will be that. A ringtone is a dinosaur, a dinosaur is he...

Comments

[dizzy]

I had to take a shower after watching "Friends of God'. I am from the south and raised southern baptist. I left in my teens, but still have horrible thoughts about "g*d". This is what I call Porn. Dirty, filty horrible abuse of children. If there is a Hell, then these are the first to go.

[studpoet]

there's nothing wrong with believing in creationism. however, only idiots believe that the earth is 7,000 years old when its been proven time and again that the earth is millions of years old.

in the bible it does state that one of gods days is like thousands of years for us. okay so here's an idea maybe creationism and evolution are one in the same.

*shrug* i haven't gotten to see jesus camp yet (its on my netflix) but i did see the pelosi movie and found it entertaining. evangelicals are a strang group of people that should be studied because these are the people who are guiding our country.

what amazes me most is that none of them, even the most educated, seem to really want to think and study and read the historical context of the bible. they just listen to these very flawed people tell them that the bible says this or that and they never think.

its amazing. but not surprising.

[Maya]

well, i think this disproves Ann Coulter's idea that liberals think they know more tahn everyone else and if everyone was as knew as much as liberals tehy woudl be liberals too. That last girl who thought people who belive in evolution do not know all the facts was pretty convinced that if liberals knew the facts we would be be creationists too. (hmm--kettle?)

and the guy who wants to be a biochemist to prove creationism, well it will be hard for him to have others take him seriously, but it will be easy to get funding.

[Candice]

We are so fucked.

[loca]

Not all evangelicals are the same, Typically it is the loudest ones that have center stage, like these folks. They are being held up as the 'standard' but they are a bit extreme, kinda like Jihadist.

[katie]

So the church with the big Jesus statue coming out of the ground is in the town next to where I grew up. It is called Solid Rock Church and they have the BEST commercials ever! (it's not in the clip above, but it is in the movie)

[Genevieve]

Ick. It makes me physically ill to think that the children interviewed in this are the future of this country. First of all, because we're going to end up with an uneducated or wrongly-educated workforce, and secondly, because their beliefs reflect SO badly on other Christians and believers of other religions. My mom's a pretty strong Catholic, but she had NO problem with me doing my fifth grade independent study project on the evolution of man, Australopithecus-Modern Day.

[bex]

Poop. This means I simply HAVE to upgrade to the Treo, just so I can steal "Behemoth is a Dinosaur" as my ringtone. I just watched F.o.G. this weekend and that song has been in my head ever since. A mighty sauropod, indeed.

[spin sycle]

Solid Rock Church

I know exactly where that is! my other half & i have an evil scheme to eventually sneak a balloon penis to the appropriate place just because it would be soo funny....since it looks like jesus in in the bath and all!

[slut machine]

I'm a total FoG hag, I've watched it like 5 times this week.

I wonder if they endorse The Flintstones as a historically accurate portrayal of family life.

[Angela]

Solid Rock Church... I always called it the Creepy Giant Jesus Church. You know the one where Jesus looks like he's rising from a grave. And everyone always ...oh yeah, that place is creepy.

Good to know it's actual name. Don't live quite close enough for them to air the commercials. Makes me sad that I can't see them.

[Abby]

"Did your grandfather look like this?"
...Bet yours did.

All joking aside, my grandfather actually does look like that...except in creme.

I think it's funny that people think these kids are the future of our country. They're not. The kids in my A.P. History class are because they're smart, opinionated, and driven by themselves, not their parents. The kids in this video have just been shoved in front of a camera and fed a script by their mommy or daddy. They don't actually believe that stuff, they were told that they believe it. I feel the same way about Republicans.

Also, I have a bit of experience with evangelical kids and all of them that I've seen leave the nest have gone crazy with the pot, so even if they might have made something of themselves, there is always the pot, which ruins all ambition.

~Abby

[E.D'Trix]

For all of you giant-stone-Jesus-jutting-out-of-the-ground statue lovers out there, please check out this glorious website:

www.jeeeb.us

No need to thank me...

[Lindsay]

E.D'Trix, there definitely IS a need to thank you. You have brightened my day.

[Back in Civilization]

Holy crap, I used to live/was trapped a town near the Solid Rock Church (I've since moved back East, thank God)! We had two other nicknames for that Jeezus statue. "Attack of the 50 Foot Jesus" and, my personal favorite, "Butter Pat Jesus" (because it looks like he was poorly sculpted out of butter). The wife of the "minister" there is currently being sued by her family for praying her brother into an early grave (he had cancer, she convinced him prayer would fix him right up). She and her husband have a huge palatial estate just across the highway from the church, which they undoubtedly milked their flock to pay for. Spin Sycle, you absolutely MUST do the balloon penis thing!!!!

[Amanda]

I obviously need to see this movie because I am completely astonished to see that people are teaching kids that evolution is a lie and that dinosaurs and man coexisted... I saw Jesus Camp but those billboards and everything took that to the next level, what state are those in anyway?

[Genevieve]

Abby-- it's true that some of these kids haven't really grown up enough to make their own decisions about what to believe, but the last few had to be at least sixteen. They've been through the high school and heard points of view and scientific facts that contradicted theirs-- and they still believe the same bullshit. Yeah, I'd like to believe that it'll be only the smart, liberal AP History students who will be running the country someday-- I'm a liberal who took AP history last year myself, and I'm narcissistic enough to believe that people like me should be running the country. But... the truth is, these people will be around too, just like they are in the current ruling generation of Baby Boomers. And so it's sad to think that even with all the well-educated, open-minded people of my generation, people will still be debating things like whether evolution should be accepted because of this sort of brainwashing.

[aufdeutsch]

wow. it's things like this that make me appreciate my tin of Jesus band-aids that came with a jesus pencil topper.

[Milah]

Boooo!! No more religion bashing!! :( Please? :) I'm Christian. I beleive in creation. I love God. I also love Rich. he is frickin' hilarious!! I like the sarcasm and wit in these posts and most of the comments but enough already with assuming creationists are backwards idiots. By the way - my daughter went to a Christian school where they didn't teach evolution - but i taught it to her because i thought it put her at a disadvantage to not even know all of the theories the rest of her classmates would know about, whether or not i or she would beleive it.

[JadeFan]

So that means the Behemoth is a member of the dinosaur family just like the elephant.

[Scott Free]

JadeFan...you made my day. Maybe we'll see a Behemoth in the next ANTM.

[Scottique]

I nearly shit my pants at the picture of the green cartoon dinosaur cheerfully yoked up to the cart, with some character from the cartoon "B.C." grinning at it. Forget the "Behemoth is a dinosaur" ringtone--I need the Job Flintstone wallpaper.

[Neva]

What are the chances of a Winston/Behemoth sing-a-long? Winston's head was made for bouncing along the words as we sing along...

[theidlereceptionist]

AHHHHHH RICH!!

I WENT to that guys seminar as a kid. I was at one of those meetings!! And I can still hear his nasally voice echoing in my head, "Were YOU there? Were YOU there???"

Man, you bring shit out of the woodwork.

[theidlereceptionist]

Although I have to say I had the devastating misfortune of never experiencing the Behemothpalooza until just now...