Ahead of his time, above ground

I feel bad for Timbaland for a few reasons. The most immediate is the "after" picture above in which he is nothing but a big, 'ol sad pioneer. Poor forward-thinking R&B and hip-hop producer! He looks like he's stayed up all night, reading every review of Shock Value, his solo album that was released this week. It'd be enough to depress anyone, what with the lukewarm response that it's received. It's kind of a big deal that people kind of hate Shock Value. No beat-oriented pop crafter since Prince has been as embraced by radio as he has been by critics. Timbaland can go as far out as he wants, to the point where if he doesn't quite reinvent not just the wheel but pop music as a whole on any particular outing, people get pissed.

And that's another reason why I feel bad for him: he's set the bar so high that a stumble is always around the corner. That's what happens when your shtick is futuristic chic - if it's hard to keep up with the times when you're in the business of pop music, imagine how much more difficult it is to be a step ahead practically out of obligation. It's natural that his pace has slowed -- Justin Timberlake's FutureSex LoveSounds threw back (to Prince and boogie and old Tim, mostly) more than it looked ahead and Nelly Furtado's Loose merely sounds sharp (to match its parade of hooks). With Shock Value, Tim is mostly marching in place ("The Way I Are," for example, merely meshes JT's "SexyBack" with "My Love"). That march can be an impressive feat for someone of his creative stature, but ultimately it just feels pointless, like a vanity plate you can't quite decipher. TILDRLZ!

It's sort of infuriating to hear someone with Tim's talent relying on his connections instead of creating a proper song. That's what happens in "Give It To Me," the set's first single that features Justin and Nelly. With friends like those, who needs a hook? That sort of lazy arrogance is endemic of the album, which features way too much of Tim's drone singing (approximately the sound of Nate Dogg mumbling in his sleep). Make no mistake: there are great moments. "Fantasy," featuring the sass-blessed Money, is the ultimate fast-slow jam (it's not until Money starts gnawing on it that it becomes clear that the otherwise frenetic track is a ballad). Missy Elliott's verse of "Bounce" is perfect. It makes Dr. Dre's and Justin Timberlake's contributions to the track irrelevant, but mostly just makes me pine for the early part of this decade, when Missy without Tim was like Jamaicans with no curry.

It just goes to show that, like any gifted producer, Tim is only as strong as his collaborators. Keri Hilson, his latest previously nameless protege probably comes out looking the best here. The tracks that she's on are among the set's brightest. Keri's such a natural fit that it's hard to tell whether her "you, you, you, you, you"s are emulating one of Tim's wacky synth sounds in "Miscommunication," my favorite of Shock's tracks, or if Tim is manipulating her vocals. Either way, she sounds like half girl, half robot. What more could he ask for in a vocalist?

Well, actually, I know the answer to that question: a "rock" edge, as collaborations with non-R&B/hip-hop acts dominate Shock's miserable second half. If Tim's out of his element by taking on the role of lead vocalist on Shock, he's practically rearranging and obliterating the periodic table by attempting to rock out. BAD idea. Worse idea: exposing She Wants Revenge singer Justin Warfield's virtually unlistenable faux-British accent to a new demographic (seriously, it's unconscionable). Worst idea: recording with Fall Out Boy. The Tim/FOB thing, "One and Only," is so hideous, it's contagious. Seriously, don't listen to it. You'll turn ugly. It's the biggest embarrassment Tim's ever gotten himself into: Fall Out Boy drowning out your sound is like Millhouse kicking your ass. Sad.

Timbaland knows that he needs to branch out because that's all he's ever done. He's built a career out of impossibility. I don't fault him for attempting to change things up. I feel his pain. But too often as a result of listening to Shock Value, I have my own pain to deal with.

Lloyd gives me hope that life, indeed, is fair. How else to explain how someone with such a busted grill could still come off as so sexy? The secret's in his voice, which offsets that Gonzo-esque schnoz and troubling facial length. Even the most God-fearing motherfucker would have a hard time arguing that Lloyd is a product of intelligent design; it's more like rational design. Fair enough, though. Brother's gotta procreate and make it in the superficiality-fueled world of young R&B, right?

His second album, Street Love, is decent. At least half of the tracks are exceptionally hooky or well-produced (highlights are "Get It Shawty" and the ringtone ready "Take You Home," which might as well be an answer record to Aaliyah's "Rock the Boat"). The rest is buoyed by Lloyd's sensitive-dude pipes, sort of the aural equivalent of puppy-dog eyes. His voice is always just sweet and yearning and breathy enough. It might be the sexiest in R&B today as it doesn't seem to be aimed at the ears as much as back of the neck. It isn't particularly limber or technically impressive, but again, that delivery more than compensates. When it comes to sex and pop music, sometimes scoring is determined solely by swagger. Combining the two is Lloyd's own intelligent design. Pretty brilliant.

In Rihanna's new single, she offers the opportunity to stand under her umbrella, but after listening to it, oh, a million times in the past week, I'd lay across a puddle for her and let her walk over me. It's that good. (Hear it here.) The fact that Rihanna should never have been heard from again two years ago after "Pon De Replay" ran its course (not that she's bad, but that song had island-inflected-summertime-one-hit-wonder written all over it) is becoming less and less relevant. In this case, the grating Southern-ish synth is nudged ever so slightly into a guitar-y rock context while drums ricochet from the floor to the ceiling. The effect is almost a flamboyant version of what Rick Rubin provided for LL Cool J to spit over on Radio. Much to her credit, Rihanna's voice has never sounded better than on "Umbrella." Maybe that's because her message is so clear.

"You can stand under my umbrella," may seem like a stupid way to declare loyalty, but that's only if you neglect the song's context. Rihanna is Def Jam's golden child, and, come June 5, she'll have had the luxury of releasing three albums over the course of two years. There's been some murmuring about special treatment that she may be receiving, and, as they did when Beyoncé's "Ring the Alarm" was released last year, people wonder if Jay-Z's 'pon Rihanna's poon (he's at least 'pon this single). But if "Alarm" was about Rihanna (which Beyoncé obviously denied), Rihanna won't be rocking chinchilla coats, anyway. First of all, they don't do well in the rain. Second of all, "Umbrella" offers an alternative to Bey's flagrant blinging -- "In the dark, you can't see shiny cars," sings Rihanna, setting up a song that's the antithesis of Beyoncé's "Upgrade U." "You can stand under my umbrella," says Rihanna. It's refreshing for a girl of her age (and genre) to offer something so simple -- I'm impressed that Rihanna (of all people!) could spin a meager offering into a revelation.

And now for something else I'm madly in love with: Kathy Diamond's album, Miss Diamond to You. I feel inadequate because I don't have any grand theories or explanations as to why I love it so. I just kind of do. Produced by veteran dance dude Maurice Fulton, Miss Diamond sort of feels like Saint Etienne curating the past 30 years of dance music while wearing skinny jeans. There's an undeniably accessible (commonplace, even) hipness to it (don't be surprised if she becomes the new Sally Shapiro), but there's also vast knowledge underlying it all. Fulton knows his disco and house and outfits Diamond's anemic but spirited pipes with interpretations of both. While some slow-is-the-new-pink dance trendiness creeps up (damn Cosmic revival!), for the most part Miss Diamond marches to the beat of its own kick. It's a cockeyed sort of tribute that borrows elements of dance music we've all heard (the slap happy bass of "All Woman," the 303 bass line of "I Need You," the "Forget-Me-Nots" clap-claps of "The Moment") to integrate into something that we haven't. "Over," which is streaming at Kathy's MySpace is a good indication of how the album deals with history (it's piano disco, hold the disco -- there's no driving 4/4!). "Until the Sun Goes Down" is another good indication. The two tracks couldn't be more different, and that's pretty much the point.

Oh, and also in the dance realm, I'm loving Baby Oliver's first single on Environ, "Primetime (Uptown Express)." It's a sleazy bit of mid-tempo house that reminds me of M's "Pop Muzik," except it's not so globe-trotting in scope - sonically, it drunk drives through Chicago, while lyrically, it's obsessed with New York transit. (In other words, it's "Pop Muzik," hold the London, Paris and Munich.) Here is a sample. Get the rest of it here. NOW.

But since Kathy is my Diamond girl, I think it's only appropriate to post this for the Throwback of the Week:

Nice & Wild "Diamond Girl"

Also, since this is the time of year for spring love to come back to all of us, I figure it's time for some freestyle. Save a Stevie B track here or there and maybe "Dreamboy/Dreamgirl," this is probably my favorite freestyle track. The vocals don't induce nausea or anything! Fun fact: when I was younger, this song was constantly on the radio (a perk of growing up in South Jersey, for sure). For some reason, during the chorus, I always thought the whispered response to "You're my diamond girl," was not "wet, wet," but "lettuce, lettuce." "You're my diamond girl (lettuce, lettuce) / Ooh oh, diamond girl (lettuce, lettuce)." True story!

Comments

[jules]

Wow-that first picture looks like the pic form Top Model where Whitney dressed up as a man! Ha!

[white chocolate]

Oh C'MON, TILDRLZ!

[Brandon H]

Lettuce... Lettuce.

[trick please]

I feel bad for Timb- the hitmaker couldn't make himself a hit. I might buy a few singles tho.

Funny line about Jamaicans with no curry ( I'm Jamaican ;) )

Lloyd... what to say. Maybe?

Rihanna- I like her single, plus I think she got great legs; inspires me to go to the gym. Have to support my Caribbean peeps.I've gotten used to her unsual warbling.

WTF??!! at that throwback pic.

p.s. OT: I tried to post at the celebreality blog and it wouldn't let me saying it was "comment spam"? My content was the usual random ish- didn't understand.

[trick please]

pps. BTW you and Fresh are just mean calling the the boy Gonzo

...but I have to agree

[Shawn Fassett]

No mention of the Bjork production work for her upcoming album?

[Deege]

Ugh. You hit the nail on the head with the Timbaland review. I loved Give it To Me when I first heard it, but by the 10th listen, I was like "this futuristic thing is getting old". Based on your recommendation, I'll give Lloyd's album a chance. And if you're gonna mention his gonzo nose, you have to mention Rhianna's melon head.

[Bubba]

What is the deal with Rihanna's forehead?

[Laura]

I saw that somebody else commented with this, so I guess I'll just second that the first picture totally looks like Whitney as a man.

[Candice]

"... but mostly just makes me pine for the early part of this decade, when Missy without Tim was like Jamaicans with no curry."

Hell YES!

Great review/analysis, as usual.

[Ed]

Rihanna's new single is absolutely awful! The only worthwhile thing she's ever done is SOS. Umbrella is beyond generic and worst of all its just flat out boring.

Tim's new album is pretty unfortunate, though if you want to hear the best track off of it, look for the one he cut! MIA's "Come Around" is the best song that was supposed to be on the album but demoted to import only. I guess it just made the rest of the albums mediocrity shine all the more brightly. Tim does come in and nearly ruin it with a verse that borders on offensive "baby girl/you and me/need to go to your teepee". To MIA? Seriously? Ugh.

[BlueMan Group]

Shawn Fassett

- Bjork said that Timbaland didn't have enough time to finish the tracks, so she took what they did and finished it herself. Earth Intruders sounds pretty impressive. Very Homogenic.

[Joshua]

I do like that OneRepublic song, but is the banking/mortgage company ready to sue for infringing on their good old name?

[Mara]

you truly have patience if you sat thru that "shock value" mess--i couldn't get past track 10...fuck sympathy. surprisingly, he and diddy went the same route with collabs and diddy's the victor?? it must be a sign of the apocalypse.

as for rihanna, i can't decide if i love or hate her new single. certain parts are hot, but other part just sound...off. its very polarizing. i don't know anyone who's neutral about it, or her for that matter.

lloyd's speaking voice irks me...that is all.

[Cheryl Lynn]

Oh. My. God. How I loved Diamond Girl. Of course, I'll always argue that there is no better Freestyle track than India's Dancing On The Fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d36y8Sl_R3w&mode=related&search=

[Jonathan Brinkley]

I love the "I got whatcha want" reference

[Christian]

I've been ice-cream-trucking "All Woman" since you included it in your Disco mix! Can't wait to hear the rest of the album.

[Jessica]

Gotdamn, I don't know if it's the crop of the picture or the general Photo Choppiness of it all, but Lloyd's head looks like it's sitting on some chick's lap with no body attached.

I am, however, still transfixed by the pattern of his 'do.

Monday cannot come fast enough, ANTM-wise. Fiddy is secretly my new hero.

[B*tch please]

Miscommunication is my fave ytrack on Shock Value, and I was so dissapointed at that FOB track because I actually like them, but the song started badly and it got worse when Tmbaland started screaming in that hard rocker voice *shudders*. My mouth fell open when I heard Missy's verse on that track!!, she really brought that song to life. I liked Umbrella when I 1st heard it, but the more I hear it, the more mediocre it's sounding.

[produzentin]

Thanks for introducing me to Kathy Diamond.
Love the album.

[Josh]

I have to disagree with your review, i actually thought that the second half of the album far outshone the previous tracks.. while One and Only was pretty weak , tracks like Throw It On Me and 2 Man Show more than make up for any mediocrity in the album. Indeed, Timbaland is ahead of his time.

[Cameron]

Whatever music critics! Timba is our generation's Phil Spector, sans mental disorder. People will probably love the album 8 years from now...

[Andrew]

He's redeemed himself in my eyes with Earth Intruders, Björk's new single. I'm so happy with that track. Man, Björk is baaaccckkk!!!! That rhymes, alack.

[Marius]

I'm a huge Timbaland fan. He has a lot to live up to (as you mentioned), but his talent cannot be denied.

[omar]

Thanks a lottttttt Rich for this review on Timbaland's Shock Value. I was rushing 2 days ago, went into the record store and had to listen for bits of it. All i can I wasn't very impressed and I'm REALLY getting irritated by them two being sticked to his bum the whole time. I wished to see more Missy on the album, a bit of Magoo and stuff...but no, again with the same ol' beat for "My Love" slapped on almost everyone.

I have to stay Timbaland was one of my faves, he still is, but he definitely dropped on the top list and now Rodney "DarkChild" Jerkins takes the first place to me!