Commentary on...comments

[Pardon me while I get meta for a sec. If you're feeling weak-stomached today, I urge you to skip my bullshit and watch the video posted below, anyway. I think it matters.]

In last week's Winston essay, someone posted a comment that began, "THIS IS A TEST TO SEE IF RICH READS ALL HIS COMMENTS."

Yikes. Guilty as charged.

The thing is, I try to read all of the comments posted here. Whether I like it or not, I'm a moderator and I need to be aware of what's being posted in the loose concept of space that's attributed to my name. It's increasingly harder, though, as my current job demands total concentration all of the time, whereas my last one didn't.

Beyond my recently developed time constraints, though, I've had a rough time lately dealing with the constant stream of feedback. I know it sounds stupid and dramatic, but it can be overwhelming to be told about yourself frequently. It can be insightful and, at times hilarious (I seriously LOLed at this in the Grindhouse review comments: "Rich, I think your threshold for the grotesque is much higher than the average person (see your Mary Carey's lap photo.)"), but it's also trying and even occasionally brutal all the same.

The irony is that without the comments, I think I'd be lost. That little link at the end of every post is a great gauge of engagement. I'm not just writing for myself and would never pretend to be doing so, and so if I'm to improve as a communicator, it's vital for me to see what sticks, what gets people going.

All of this is to say that I just need to get over myself. And I am. I don't take any of the feedback that I'm lucky enough to get for granted. Additionally, I have a practical objective to this post: If there's something you said in the comments section of a post that I never responded to, please ask again. Email me. Write it in a neon sign. I'm going to be more diligent with checking the comments (because I know I have to be), but just in case I missed anything...

Oh, and for those who asked: after trying a few things (including a raw diet), we feed Winston Spot's Stew with a dose of L-Lysine twice a day.

In related news, I watched Paris Is Burning again recently (in the wake of the Benny Ninja ANTM appearance) and I related to one part in particular so deeply that I might as well have been wearing clip-on earrings and a stylish sweater-dress. See the clip below. I included the ball segment for context (well, that and the fact that you can never have too much "Get into both of them and see which one is realer" in your life). What's really of concern is what the guy in the military uniform says:

(Download)

I don't know if it's something inherent in people or if it's a coping mechanism that's evolved along with expanding society, but people create worlds for themselves that, inadvertently or not, end up managing their sense of importance, their somebody-ness. I think it's fine to take refuge in your niche, as long as you realize that you're but a line in a tangle of orbits. I don't really feel "lost" in the sense that's described in the video above, but I know that my head resides mere feet away from my ass. Getting caught up there is a constant risk.

So forgive me if I sometimes take some time out for perspective and am not as communicative as I should be. I just need to remind myself sometimes that nothing is that deep, you know? I'm learning. Hooray for me.

Comments

[monica]

its ok rich, i still love you, winston, rudy, and your blog!

[moss]

Rich, the internets is a rough neighborhood, drama everywhere. That you do all this... it's amazing. We love you HARD. You are so talented it's not funny. Do what's best for you and ignore the haters.

[amy]

how can you possibly keep up with everything? take care of yourself, you already provide a lot of joy for people here. cheers!

[mer]

I'd like to praise Rich and all of the fourfour readers for keeping the comments smart, funny, and insightful and not (usually) feeling the need to post "FIRST!" because, who care, right?

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

I cried myself to sleep for a week after you failed to answer my "what did you think of 9 Songs?" query.
You bastard.

[kdub]

Hell, I love ya baby. You gave me a shoutout in an ANTM post and responded to an email I sent you so fast I didn't have time to blink. It's all good.

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

yes, excellent point, kdub, Rich ALWAYS replies to email, which I imagine is no small feat as he must receive a plethora of them.
He's good people, as the kids say.

[Brandon H]

I'm going to rent that tonight, already have it waiting for me at the local joint. That last line he gave really sold it for me. Also, in the middle of what you think are "rants" are nice little jewels, so don't be too hard on yourself.

My favorite, "...as long as you realize that you're but a line in a tangle of orbits." Dope.

I'll be back tomorrow with my thoughts on it.

Brando

[juliet]

And the WORST OF IT IS.. HAHAHA!!

[K]

Just wish you could make April go away from the comments section, Rich. She slams your blog, then posts in the comments asking people to visit her blog for her ANTM recap (which is terribly lame)and she steals from you! She gets a lot of hate comments from your fans though haha

[Sally]

When I am sitting at home watching ANTM tonight with my cat on my lap I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU!!! I came for the recaps and stayed for Winston and your pretty face (and great writing!)

[vagabondblogger]

I never get comments and I'm not sure I really give a damn either. I know people are reading my blog and I just wish I had the readership you do (er, now that you mention it, maybe not). I originally wanted to blog about politics, because I get really involved (mentally), but realized after all the heat dies down, I'd be a boring shit. So I decided to just be a boring shit anyway, write what I want, and have fun too. If I had as many comments as you, I'd be pulling my hair out. Don't feel guilty. You're only human. I don't expect you to reply to my comments, but when I do leave one, it's because you effect me somehow / someway. Don't get all gaga about this, okay.

[pepper]

Dear God, what a wank THAT was. But, you know, you did it, it's done, I'm sure you feel better and your heart is definitely in the right place.

[Tremayne]

Rich is my baby daddy!

[Nathalie]

Aww dude man. Stay strong. I love your recaps and they light up work every Monday. I do have a question for you- I thought you were doing baby recaps of Pussycat Dolls Search for More Pussy or whatever on the VH1 blog, but the last recap up here (http://vh1blog.vh1.com/the_pussycat_dolls/index.html) is the ep where Mari was eliminated, and there's definitely been more episodes after that. Did you stop recapping PCD?

[Montserrat]

Hi Rich - I'm mostly a lurker on both fourfour and your Celebreality and VH1 blogs, but I had to write to thank you for your work on the "I Love New York" recaps.

In particular, alerting us that the Reunion special was coming, giving folks a chance to post their reactions right after, recapping the Reunion so well, then providing behind the scenes coverage, with great screen captures and commentary. Many thanks! Montserrat. P.S. I too was hoping for more Pussycat Dolls coverage...:-)

[Daniel]

I've always seen blogs first and foremost as a dialogue. In that spirit, this post is totally appropriate and true. I for one feel more appreciated for it, much as I do when you address one of my comments, either directly or indirectly. (And I've always wondered a bit how you must feel reading all that praise. Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you go back over it for a lift when you're having a bad day? I think I have a better idea now.) This was NOT a wank, at least not any more of one than the fact that you have a blog in the first place. Cheers.

[prince don jose hernandez]

ug what no youtube clips allowed in the comments section? or am i straight up zipped down tarded. anyways:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dft5CgEvTPE

i'm not crazy am i i swear you dropped some d summer up there.

[Shonda]

Hey there, I showed up for Winston, and stuck around because you are consistently a great read. I can't count the number of times I've checked in with you. And the reason? Because you make me think and make me laugh and you're just a damned good read. (You're terribly cute, too. I won't lie.)

[Ty]

Hey Rich, did you watch this?
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/vh1_news_presents/96700/episode_about.jhtml

[Brian]

Seriously, you're like the Melinda Doolittle of blogging.

You're damn talented. You should just accept it. (Fortunately, you don't look like a sad platypus either)

[Bridget]

Rich, your blog is one of the great gems of the internet. I never would have heard of "Paris is Burning" or the IRL Jerri Blank if it wasn't for you. Everything I've seen here has been entertaining, informative, well-presented... if it wasn't for you my Mondays would be even worse.

Oh, and your mp3s and images work really nicely as YTMNDs:

http://loooveeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.ytmnd.com/

[Gyn]

Yeah man, what's wrong with you? Whenever I post comments like "Love you, Rich." or "HAHAHAH, you're a genius, Rich!" you could at least reply "Love you too, Gyn."

Jerk.

PS, LOVE your picture on the ANTM blog. Maybe you can include a pic of yourself with a thought bubble to sum up each of the episodes from now on. You're WAY cuter than all the model wannabes.

[inothernews]

Yes, I agree with the above comments about your super sonic speedy emails and actual responses and threads there that make sad people like me think OMG RICH AT FOUR FOUR IS TOTALLY MAH BFF.

This is sort of like a husband telling his partner that he didn't think he "needed to say 'I love you' for you to know that I do"...I read everything you write, even if I don't comment.