Let there be hate

Every time someone or something calls for the ban of certain words or the cancellation of someone's career (as former Essence editor Diane Weathers did regarding Snoop Dogg last week) because of something that's been said, I get pissed. I'm not one to wave any flags, especially for the First Amendment (as much as it takes care of me), so I'll spare you the obvious rant about attacking speech in the U.S. What really gets me is how self-defeating this call for censorship is. Look around at our subdivided communities and massacred co-eds and deteriorating environment and abused animals and religious assurance that hatred of the other is acceptable. Our words are all we have and we need all that we can get.

(And also, while I think the NAACP's cause is more or less noble if misguided, I call bullshit on Russell Simmons, whose proposal to ban "hoe," "bitch" and "nigger" from hip-hop seems like nothing more than a self-serving fashion show. This week, defending women is the new white-framed sunglasses; it wasn't last week. My contempt comes from the absence of "faggot" from his list, when anyone with a modicum of pop-culture awareness knows that homophobia runs rampant in hip-hop. Judging by Sage Russell's inaction, that sort of hate is OK. I haven't heard any Asian-bashing rap lately, but if it were 10 years ago, you'd most certainly need to add "gook" or "chink" to the list. The only thing that makes me crazier than Simmons' call for censorship is his inconsistency and inconsideration within that call. For real: what a piece of shit.)

Obviously, I have great respect for language and the power of words. But part of this respect is understanding that usage and context are what make effectiveness. Words are tools and if you're disabled in whatever capacity, you're going to have a hard time wielding them. In my heart, I don't believe that Imus' "nappy headed hoes" that roared really hurt anyone's feelings. His statement was racial, yes, and because of that, a stupid thing to say since people are so damn sensitive. He should have known better -- there's a fine line between bowing to political correctness and effective communication. Don't compare black people to monkeys, ever. Don't say "rice" derisively and giggle in regard to an Asian person, ever. Don't begrudge a woman for her period, ever. The list goes on. If you do these things, expect people to latch onto them and not care about anything else you have to say. And if your job is to convey things to people, you're going to have a problem. 

Of course, if you're talking nonsense and you're getting paid, there's a problem, too. Take Imus' words at face value and they're just absurd. Those girls aren't hoes. They're on a college basketball team! When would they possibly have time to turn tricks between sports practice and studying?! If someone calls you a hoe and you aren't a hoe or even dressed like a hoe, that person is a fucking fool and not worth paying attention to, let alone, getting worked up over.

I'm glad Imus said what he did because of what it created: dialogue. Irrational hatred for the stupidest of reasons is all around, like it or not. When we talk about it, when we confront issues of race, there's at least a chance for progress. This is better, for example, than pretending that being colorblind is possible and not just a cop-out because we're so fucking lazy as a species. I know that we've been talking for years, and talking and talking and talking, and that talking is different than doing, but I really think it's our only hope. I have no statistics but I think it's safe to say that hatred lives and breeds in dialogue much more than it does in action. In this case, laziness is the lesser of two evils -- people are too busy sitting on their asses to get up and actually commit hate crimes. 

There is no quick fix here. As much as I like to give people's intelligence the benefit of the doubt, the fact is that we are failing at civilization. I know that people like to throw around a million excuses (many of which include the words "economic" and/or "culture") for racism and homophobia, but the bottom line is that we are hating people over what they look like and what they love and who they are and where they're from. That's just stupid. If we can't get over those ultimately superficial things, it's because the need to feel superior is integral to the human condition. The weak-minded latch onto these superficial reasons, and so, like anything weak-minded, they need to be conditioned to act properly. And every time there's public outcry over something stupid that someone says (and it does seem increasingly frequent, right?), there's a better chance that the weak-minded will see the err in their ways. It isn't much, but it's something.

But this is coming from the point of view of someone who is not as sensitive as many people seem to be. I have my moments of thin-skinned-ness, but I'm thick as a sequoia when it comes to ignorance. The fact that I haven't been gay bashed to my face in over 10 years may have something to do with that. But it's not like my existence as a gay male has been completely charmed -- since I was maybe 8 (or younger) through high school, I was bashed virtually daily. It's unfortunate, but any lasting scars are soothed by what experience has taught me and how I've been conditioned myself. I'm at peace with it and any ignorance directed my way because I know that if you want to be so stupid as to hate me for the way I love, that's on you. In the end, why the hell would I feel bad about myself when someone has just proved that they're way stupider than I am? I'm too busy enjoying the show. You know I love a train wreck.

While I'd never, ever admit to practicing it, political correctness can be helpful. It's OK to be sensitive and call things out for the sake of national discourse. Still, this sensitivity isn't without its downside -- a whistle-blower culture is bound to be annoying, at the very least. I dealt with some post-Imus, heightened sensitivity this week when, in response something as stupid and trivial as my trashing of Asia, the winner of The Search for the Next Doll, some readers suggested that I didn't want her to win because she's black. Keep in mind, these people more than likely had no idea what my racial makeup is. In fact, I don't even know if they know Asia's makeup (isn't she Latina? Update: Or not?). Also keep in mind that there are thousands of reasons to dislike Asia, and I explained several of them. Being accused of racism is irritating, but ultimately, again: that's on the accuser. It's not true, and if people are going to latch onto subtext that isn't there, let them. I have other people who may or may not be black to make fun of. But at least those people, who frankly, don't seem very smart, are engaging in dialogue. The wheels are turning, and because we've been so stupid for so long, that feels like progress.

And so I say, let the haters have their say. It gives bored people something to be outraged over, and it allows for an open exchange of ideas that hasn't always been so common in a public forum. Harmony is not on its way tomorrow, and hate speech is a necessary part of our process. We have to make mistakes. We have to get this shit out of our systems. We have to learn from example -- and stupid people need to broadest examples possible. They need the Michael Richardses and Imuses and Isiah Washingtons. We may never reach our utopia, but at least we'll have a lively debate on the car ride over.

Besides, looking at where we are now, if you ban three words, and people will just invent three more.

Comments

[mer]

Rich, why you so smart? Seriously though, language has always been a tricky subject in the history of well, language. I think your points are valid, smart, and very well written. I read the pussycat blog and it is funny how people just assumed you didn't like Asia because she's black rather and not just because she sucked and was unplesant. Jumping to conclusions can be just as bad as saying terrible things.

[janine]

Imus didn't just get fired over the "nappy headed hos" incident. I think the nail in the coffin was that during his apology he said "you people." His job is to be a communicator and he proved over the course of a week that he's less and less good at that. Language changed too much for the zombie cowboy. Only GWB can be that incompetent and keep his job.

The other interesting thing is that he apologized to Sharpton. He was so removed from the fact that he was referring to actual people (in this case the Rutgers b-ball team) that he didn't think until over a week since it happened. That kind of disconnect also made him dangerous.

Besides, if aliens land in Harlem and say "take me to your leader," no one is bringing them to Al Sharpton.

[janine]

...and when I say dangerous, I mean dangerous to Viacom/MSNBC's bottom lines.

[Bella]

Rich, I think you are a great writer. I never looked at your other blog until I followed that link for your PCD write up. The comments over there are hilarious. My favorite was "U girlz need to spellcheck before u post"

[jeremy]

I hear ya. I blame the Jews.

[Leanne]

I am constantly both entertained and enlightened by your blog. I have fun, I laugh, and I learn things. I believe most of your faithful readers feel the same way. Thanks for keepin' it real.

"I don't care if you think I'm racist, just as long as you think I'm thin."

-Sarah Silverman

[camille]

rich, beautifully written.

[Lea]

I have to say, Rich, it is quite obvious that most of the posters on the VH-1 blog do not read your blog. I was amazed and horrified by the lack of actual words in their posts. Plus they did get your sense of humor at all.

I didn't watch America's Next Top PCD, but I did catch the last two girls singing in the final and, well, they got the cat part right. I hear better things coming from the feral cat in heat behind my apt.

[MsKit2u]

Rich,

I've been reading you for a little over a year now, (I thank the LJ-land person who linked me to your blog), and it has fairly consistently brought me a little dose of sunshine on at least a weekly basis.

I've followed you over to VH-1 and read your posts there too(stalker much?!), although I agree with the poster above who said they don't "get" you.

I wanted to thank you for this post. I don't agree with everything you say, but I agree with a lot of it. I think it's important that it be said, and I'm glad you're using your platform to do it.

So, thank you.

Keep doing what you do.

[Lea]

To MsKit2U:
Thank you for reading my post the I intended and not the way I wrote it (they DID NOT get your sense of humor)

[Kendra]

Thank you. You very elegantly covered the problems with Russel Simmons call for censorship, and the fact that racism is still deeply embedded in our society. I think your last point is a very important one; even if those specific three words stop being used someone will come up with another three words.
And seriously, what's up with 'faggot' not being included? That word is just as offensive as the other three. I guess that's proof that homophobia is still considered an acceptable prejudice.

[Montserrat]

I've seen "hoe", "bitch", and "nigger" used in contexts and with meanings that don't offend. Not "faggot".

As for "nappy-headed hoes", that bothered me at many levels. Two great coaches (Pat Summitt and Vivian Stringer) and two great teams with compelling stars and leaders and interesting personalities. To call the Tennessee Lady Vols "wannabees" (light-skinned, "good" hair) and the Rutgers Scarlet Knights "jigaboos" (dark-skinned, "bad" hair) too? Offensive. He made fun of a sport and people I care about.

Don Imus didn't know about the two teams and didn't care to know. And made assumptions about them that totally ignore what's in plain sight. And thought he was being funny. I was appalled that he didn't know the Lady Vols, a team I've been following for years, and reduced them to being "light-skinned, good hair, white people-wannabees". He reduced the great achievement of both teams to get to the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship finals by focusing on their color (and being really wrong about it too) instead of their athleticism, team play, defensive skills, will-to-win, etc. And they're a fun group of people too that get along with each other.

And as you mentioned, it's stupid to call the Rutgers basketball team "hoes" because logically, they could not be, but he called them "hoes" anyway and made assumptions about them based on what? And thought it was funny. The "nappy-headed" part is similar because the players have different hair styles, mostly not nappy - couldn't he see?! Why didn't he see?! It's only funny if there's some truth there and I didn't see it.

But I wouldn't find it funny because there is a "good hair-bad hair" divide. "Nappy-headed" people have "bad hair", so if you like to wear your hair natural or "nappy" and feel great doing it, it's going to be a sore point. So calling the Rutgers team "nappy-headed" as a joke to belittle them resonated negatively for those of us who like to wear our hair "nappy". And we're a little more self-conscious because of it. So it's hard to have a thick-skin about it. Don Imus intended to offend. He was callous and uncaring.

Had to get that out of my system...:-)

Montserrat.

[Dandelion]

loved this post. your eloquence is unmatched. I saw that yesterday too on the VH1 blog, and the response was shockingly racist and crude. It's just as bad (and wrong) for black people to say that black people are superior as it is for white people to say white people are superior. When will people start looking at people as individuals, anyways? Agh. But, for those of us who understand you, please keep doing what you're doing! Your posts are to humans as cheezburgers are to cats, as buckets are to walruses. <3

[Deege]

Russell needs to sit his ass down somewhere. He made millions off the use of the words he now wants to ban. Get the fuck outta here, Russ. I'm also disturbed by the double stand in my community regarding homophobia. Isaiah Washington gets a standing ovation at the NAACP Image Awards, but we're ready to go to war over Imus. I'm not on some Rodney King - can't we all just get along shit. I'm just on the can't we all at least respect eachother tip.

[Deege]

And I'm still mad at you for having dinner with Potes. But I will forgive you if you name your next adopted cat after me.

[vagabondblogger]

Imus screwed up big time (he's an ass to begin with), but I am a huge believer in freedom of speech - isn't that what got us all here - in bloggatory? I'm conflicted as to whether or not he should've been fired. When I'm back in the States, I listen to Rush Limbaugh - he's the enemy and I like to see what they're up to. I hate the crap I listen to here in Cairo, Egypt - it's all bump and grind club music. Bloggers are being arrested here, for expressing their views - trying to use their freedom of speech (which is non-existent, but they still try.) I'm tired, as well, of the Nanny State in the U.S. and people dictating proper behavior, new laws, blah, blah, blah, blah blah and so on and so on. It's never-ending. Yes, Imus' foot-in-mouth is good for dialogue, as I hate the hate talk too. What it all comes down to is censorship, and that's it. It's being practiced, in one form or another, worldwide. I think it's a matter of what we want as a society: Freedom of speech or censorship? And if we want freedom of speech, then I guess we're stuck with the "p.c." police and where does that take all the snark? Where does it end?

[Christina]

Wonderfully put Rich, as always.

[Carmen Van Kerckhove]

Rich, thanks so much for linking to the Racialicious post on the Oprah town hall shows, and for bringing up this topic on your blog.

> I'm glad Imus said what he did because of what it created: dialogue.

Yes, the Imus incident has created dialogue. But look at the topic of the dialogue we're having.

Instead of addressing the racism (and I disagree with you here - Imus's statement was racist, not merely "racial") of this old white man, we've all succumbed to his brilliant diversionary tactic. Basically Don Imus shifted the blame and said "Hey, look at those black men! They call their woman bitches and hoes all the time. Why can't I do the same?"

As a result, the dialogue we're having is not about the deeply engrained nature of racism in American society or the Eurocentric beauty ideals that makes "nappy" hair a bad thing. Instead, we're talking about misogyny in hip hop.

That's a conversation we need to have, but by having it now, all we're doing is falling for Don Imus's diversionary tactic.

We saw a similar turn of events following the Michael Richards incident. Instead of talking about the long history of racism in this country, the blame was shifted to African-Americans: "If black people use the n-word amongst themselves, why can't I?" All the dialogue then revolved around the n-word itself, with various black politicians passing symbolic resolutions to ban the word. Again, it's a conversation worth having, but ultimately it was a diversionary tactic.

> While I'd never, ever admit to practicing it, political correctness can be helpful.

I know what you're saying, but I really wish we would drop the word "political correctness" once and for all. It's a buzzword from 1991 that has been highjacked by the right. What I consider to be common human decency is labeled as "political correctness," to give it an air of uptight sissiness. Basically, if you're against homophobia and racism, that makes you "politically correct."

To quote Debra Dickerson, the term "politically incorrect" is "the rhetorical cul-de-sac where white hate went -- in goes racism, out comes political incorrectness. Use of this phrase is a tactic designed to derail discourse by disguising racism as defiance of far-left, pseudo-Communist attempts at enforcing behavior and speech does. However vicious, brainless, knee-jerk, or crudely racist a sentiment may be, once it is repackaged as merely 'un-PC' it becomes heroic, brave, free-thinking, and best of all, victimized."

[AJ]

Hey dude,

I just wanted to drop you a quick note and let you know how much I appreciate your site and thoughts. I am a very str8 acting bi dude (living a largely str8 life) and definitely feel that the ignorance directed at gay and bi men is never addressed. But, it is what it is. Keep on posting playa...you rock the house.

[Summer]

Rich,
You've made some very important points, but so have some of your posters. Carmen hit the nail on the head when she said that these RACIST comments have not opened up a discourse on the country's racial climate, but rather shifted the blame to the behavior in hip hop and/or black culture. I believe in freedom of speech fully, but in certain forums where censorship supersedes free speech(i.e. public radio), limitations should be placed on Hate-filled or discriminatory remarks. Calling a group of women, not only hoes but JIGABOOS is unacceptable. The history of that word likens blacks to animals and it is horrifying to broadcast nationally as acceptable radio. Had Imus not been fired, it would have said to the world that it is acceptable to debase a particular race on air without consequence. I agree that homophobic language such as "faggot" should be deemed unacceptable and those who abuse it should be punished as well--but just because Russell Simmons didn't include it in his "quote" ban doesn't make the words that are included any less harmful. Rich states: "My contempt comes from the absence of "faggot" from his list." Had Mr. Simmons included said word, there would still be some other group or class feeling left out.
My point is, I belive there should be consequences when Hateful remarks are made against any group or class in a publicly censored forum. I am not against free speech and believe you can say whatever you want on subscription based radio, records, comedy shows or forums where the audience pays to listen and is warned of possible content. I don't think Russel's idea to have a SET STANDARD for RADIO versions of songs is a bad one. It is inappropriate to say bitch, hoe, or the N word on the radio and regardless of Russell's motivation, I agree with his actions.

[winterwheat]

As a professor of communication, I have to agree with you. The best way to infuse a word with power is to ban it from the collective cultural lexicon. Frankly, I feel that "the n-word" and other almost-verboten terms need to remain sayable, if only because they are extraordinarily efficient at identifying whoever utters them as rubes. Who wants to spend hours talking to someone only to find out later that s/he is Archie Bunker in Meathead's clothing (or worse, Gloria's)? Life's too short.

[Foxy]

I'll totally gay bash you the next time I see you.

[bebebaby]

I feel you on some of your comments and although Russell is probably just out and about now with this "cause" because he has a book coming out to promote. I don't think it's a bad idea to ban the words hoe, bitch and nigger from the radio which is what he is calling for. He's not saying to ban it from hip-hop. Words like shit, fuck, cunt are bleeped out on the radio and television, why should the word nigger not be considered derogatory and bleeped as well?

[Traci]

Rich, you are quite simply the best writer on the internet. Respect.

[BayBB]

While, 5 years ago I could have agree with your opinion 100%, I do have some reservations about it today. I was a teenager in the 90's when commercialized hip-hop became popular. I loved it and anyone that was against it was a "hater" and should not listen. As someone that loved songs like "bitches ain't shit" any many other misogynistic songs, I am disgusted with current as another blogger refers to it "Clearchannel hip hop". Rap has clearly gone too far. While people are given freedom of speech, radio and other media sources have limitations on that freedom. These words to NOT belong on the radio, on the television or in the public.

As a black woman, I have been disrespected more times than I can recall by men who clearly live the hip hop lifestyle. If I had a dollar for everytime a black man has called me a hoe or a bitch, (the reason 9/10 times because I don't respond to their advances) I could pay rent on my apartment for at least the next year. I totally and completely feel hip hop is to blame for that attitude. Honestly, everytime I can recall a man making disparaging remarks to me it has either been a transient or someone with their pants 4 sizes too large, down to their knees wearing a t-shirt that could pass for a dress. It's easy to tell someone else to have thicker skin when it's an issue that does not directly affect you or your community. Unfortunatly, my brothas and sistas are buying into the hype and making bad lifestyle decisions based on it. While part of me is trying to accept that it's their life and people need to make their own decisions, the other part of me sees how children (including those in my family) soak up the ignorance like a sponge. It's now cool to be ignorant and misspell words (see the Pussycat doll forum, it hurt my brain trying to read that mess).

I am tired of these record labels pimping out black men and at the expense of black women. Many of the rappers you hear on the radio do NOT write their lyrics; their entire sound, image and lyrics are created by record companies and they are the ones that need to be held accountable. They are getting rich off selling a negative stereotype of black people, it's shameful. That is not free speech when it comes at such a large price.

I do agree with the BS call on Russell Simmons though, fake yoga freak! He's full of it. I always found it funny how he tries to act so enlightened but he's married to the most materialist, gaudy, trashy woman on earth. It's clear he's all for anything he can make money from.

BTW, I was soooo mad that Asia won. She is so annoying!