Nope

I do not have an ANTM recap prepared for today. There are several reasons for this. Here are three:

- The weather - I mean, come on. I couldn't possibly be expected to be cooped up for the bulk of New York's first gorgeous weekend of the year, right?

- Björk - She's the devil, sucking up all my time with 5.1 mixes of all of her albums that I can finally take advantage of, now that I've joined the 21st century and acquired surround sound. But seriously, wow. Her later work sounds like it was composed in 3-D. I haven't loved her this much in five years. And then there was SNL, featuring this brilliance, which wasn't hurt at all by this meh-ness. Regardless, the fact stands that if Volta is released in 5.1, I may never post again.

- Potes from Television Without Pity - I could have gotten an early start on the recap last week, but one night last week was devoted to dinner with Potes, who writes the ANTM (and now Ugly Betty) recaps at Television Without Pity. Meeting Potes was meeting a hero, as no writer has been more influential on my television writing (and maybe writing, period) than she. In person, she is just as wonderful as her recaps. I briefly documented this meeting of the junk-fueled minds via a picture:

We went through a few, but ultimately decided that we nailed it on this, the second shot. We also both went for the 3/4 face, because we figured it was the most flattering. See? ANTM totally has redeeming value. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have a clue about what to do with my face, both on camera and off. Seriously, I'm sure it would slide right off my head.

Anyway, Potes' recap is up (early!) so go read that. My recap will be up Tuesday morning at the latest. Sorry! I know I'm a bastard person and you hate me and my ass face. Me too. Me too.   

Comments

[nicolelaroche]

Love Potes!

Her recaps crack me up and she alwasy catches the best things.

love her~

[Bella]

I'm just gonna go home and...bite my pillow!

Oh Rich, you know how to charm us. We couldn't possibly continue being upset after you've quoted 'Waiting for Guffman' at us. Thanks for entertaining us all the time!

[Shawn]

Dude. DUDE. You met Potes? I am insanely jealous.

[rich_is_my_hero]

im dissapointed :(

but i totally see where you're coming from. looking forward to tomorrow!

[Neil]

Wow Potes is so pretty! (You are too, Rich.)

[whatwouldjanicedickinsondo]

Oh, Rich.
I'm not upset about the lack of a recap...rather, my heart breaks over that shirt.

[tia]

seeing as how the weather will be even nicer today (and tomorrow) i'll keep my fingers crossed for a tuesday recap.

[AntBee]

Damn you're cute! Did I ever mention that I play for team chunk? Call me! Looking forward to the recap, but if you don't get it out tomorrow, it's no big deal...well, to me anyway.

[Robert]

So I finally get to see Potes and it's all I've ever dreamed of. But, I believe you could have shown a bit more neck in the shot, and perhaps placed a post it note under your upper lip to plump it out a bit. At the very least, it's better than most shots on Top Model, especially because you both have brains that can produce thoughts that translate through the eyes.

Top Model really is educational.

[Joe]

DISAPPOINTED. I should have just stayed home - what's the point? My week cannot start without your commentary on Jael communing with nature, then reciting a Cover Girl script like she has painful hemorrhoids and needs a sitz bath QUICK! Potes is a cutie. Rich, Tyra compliments you on your use of neck.

[LaSexorcisto]

I like how your eyes connected to the camera, but you didn't sell the product. I think both of you are resting on pretty.

BTW, Potes banned my ass from TWoP. I pictured her as a fat shut-in with a hairy wart on her nose. Damn.

[Katt]

You and Potes together at last! I'm jealous of BOTH of you. I'm surprised you guys didn't spontaneously turn into a Voltron of pop-culture awesomeness.

[Saun]

We could never hate you and that adorable face. I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend.

[Potes]

I'm sorry, but I look like an amputee, and Rich, you look like you have a penis. We are a couple of brokedown dolls, but somehow manage to make wrong the new right. And shut up! You're my hero. I would never have the creativity or wherewithal to make Jael hula hoop through Diana's earring. Thank you for a memorable evening of sweet, sweet love.

And let me tell you, it takes a LOT of concealer to cover up that hairy wart.

[Claudea]

Rich, same here in Montreal, we had that wonderful weather all weekend, it was GOrgEouS!! I went to 2 BBQ, and to say that a week ago, it still was snowing! v_v !
Anyway, there are 3 things I live for when it comes to tv : ANTM, your recap and Potes's recap. Suffice to say that I'm thrilled that you 2 finally met. So, all i'm waiting and rooting for, from now on, is for you 2 to make beeeeautifulllll dueeeetttt together (oh why anna nicole, why did u die!), and produce an ultra special recap. You could even do a video podcast, that would be heaven on earth!!

alright, thanks again! ;)

[i love winston]

OMG, two of my favorite worlds unite. Too awesome! I would love it if, one day, you guys did a collaboration. Maybe on the series finale? Just a cheesy thought.

[Chris]

HAH. ^Potes response.

We don't hate you. At least I don't. Recap tomorrow just makes tomorrow the most awesome part of ANTM.

P.S. I think Wednesday's episode is a recap show. Are you going to recap that? With the wealth of excrement spewing from Kathleen, Renee (whose totally getting the redemption edit), and Jael, I don't think we have a problem.

P.P.S. Seriously though, that shirt....

[raging indie]

The world has just folded in on itself! You should team up and auction off a dinner with you both for charity. For the beneficiary, I nominate the Cover Girl TruBlend Foundation, which supports research on hairy-wart removal and fiercenessness.

[janine]

No worries, there's always FOL Charm School, ass face.

[Nick]

Nooooooooooooooo!
What now will I do for Monday entertainment?! This throws my entire day (and maybe my week) off schedule...

Sigh...its ok though...I wouldn't want you to have missed this incredible weather. Though I am slightly inclined to hold a grudge (and involuntarily gag) due to your fondness of Bjork. Urgh...I'm already disappointed in my boyfriend for his affection towards her...don't make me be disappointed with you too! ;)

I wait with baited breath for tomorrow...

[nick]

Wow, Potes is hot! Who knew a fuckin' lesbo could be so gorgeous? Uh, you too, Rich!

[potty mouth princess]

Rich AND Potes? Together????? My online worlds have officially collided.

I can forgive you but only for Björk. Volta is gonna be SO GREAT!

[yoohoostereo]

Bjork! I actually like Earth Intruders. Dare I say, I preferred it to Wanderlust? Both performances were great.

[J_key]

Rich you are sooooooooooo cute