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May 08, 2007



Sorry my Natasha Speak spilled over into Paragraph Two. Was not intended. Can't stop me.


Team Jaslene!!!! The first Tranny (that we know of) to win ANTM.

and Dionne may be leaving next week....so sad.


Hookers at the point....brilliant....i guess jaslene is Tyra's bottom bitch...hahaha

I dont care how long it takes you to post this rich...you're the best!


this was so worth the wait. totally hilarious. the whole jaslene section cracked me up so hard! especially the freddy reference OMG! love your stuff. i never miss a recap.


did anyone notice the male model with renee? He had like a boner before the shoot! OMG


hilarious, as usual!

I love twiggy's do not want! meter.

and of course, any recap with a mention of my name is awesome (c'mon, seinfeld was the last thing! gimme a break)


What will it take to win this cycle with only cha-cha Jaslene and the A.N.T.Mommies left? Breaks down to caliente vs. placentae.


I didn't mean that Natasha shouldn't be in Top Model. I was just stating how Top Model is everywhere. I am proud to be a citizen in a country where someone like Natasha can live the American dream...get famous by going on reality TV. Really though, I lov her.


xMsBiancax: i love four four rich
xMsBiancax: because he called that girl falcor
xMsBiancax: and hes right
shaina in a coma: he usually knows just what youre thinking and says it even if you dont know the words yourself.
xMsBiancax: seriously
xMsBiancax: its worse than when i thought spinb magazine had planted a bug in my brain years ago
xMsBiancax: spin*
xMsBiancax: rich thinks my thoughts BEFORE i think them
shaina in a coma: plus he introduced me to i can has cheezburger?
xMsBiancax: this is also true
xMsBiancax: we should send this conversation to him
xMsBiancax: as a testament to our devotion
shaina in a coma: haha. omg we love you richfourfourrr.
shaina in a coma: youre like the tivo i cant afford!
xMsBiancax: he brought winston into my life, thus making my own ridiculously cute cat just not as cute as she used to be
xMsBiancax: i dont even WATCH ANTM anymore
shaina in a coma: me neither!
xMsBiancax: the recaps are enough for me
shaina in a coma: word
shaina in a coma: i think im team rudy
xMsBiancax: you just want to be trendy by picking the non trendy cat
xMsBiancax: you dont fool me at all
shaina in a coma: im a natural underdog lover!
shaina in a coma: like when i go home i ignore my parents lazy puppy because i know my dog gets the shaft because shes old and cant see or hear
xMsBiancax: hmph thats DIFFERENT
shaina in a coma: rudy cant help that his face isnt all smushed
xMsBiancax: well, like any overweight girl in high school, rudy could make up for his lack of beauty through a winning personality
xMsBiancax: and im afraid winston has already cornered that market


Potato head and all, I want Jaslene to win. A fellow Boricua needs to take hold of the Next Top ... ummm ... "something" category.
I'd say Natasha Franken-brains for runner-up and "What the hell?" Dionne for a close third. Renee can have the title of Next Top Junkie Mom for all I care. Do Not Want!Oh and good job Rich on spotting the "fat ass" swimsuit on the fake Tyra photo cover. That honestly looks like a swimsuit my grandmother wore back in the 80's. It didn't work on her and it certainly doesn't work on Tyra. When I first saw the episode, I thought Tyra's picture was going to be the SI swimsuit cover she did back in the day, but then I realized Tyra doesn't have the rights to that shit, so lo and behold, she had to make this crap. At least we know what she was doing when "Tyra's Fat Ass" became tabloid fodder. Speaking of Tyra's ass, did you see homegirl fall off her couch when she had a porcupine on the set of her talk show? Genius! Love ya as always, Rich!


wow chat logs.

finding the filth

your recaps make me feel myself more pretty.

Scott Free

Yes, you're that good.
Yes, Dionne's freeloading was inspiring(and hilarious.
Yes, I'm glad you managed to work in "wonky."

would you make the audio clips open in a new window. when i click it and then go back i'm at the top of the page. or make it go back to that spot on the page. thanks! love!

Fake Janice Combs

Yes! U did ya thing baby!

Miss Lisa

Tantrums aside, I can't find it in my heart to make fun of the brain-damaged. Exception made for Tyra, of course. The Aussies are benevolent. I would have thrown that bikini at Dionne and shouted, "Here! Take it, selfish American!" But that's just me.


love the recaps!


Awesomestest-tit-tit-tit recap....especially the Beau Sia-esque poem to the Rosie clone!!


why must he cry why must he cry why!
amazing post. i can't believe Natasha has lasted this long but she is a source of ... wisdom i feel myself. Jaslene's Revenge is amazing she deserves that movie. i think she might win. Britt was my runner up. oh well.

oi vey

rob zombie is HOT!
when do we get to get rid of re-nay-nay?

Scott Free

p.s. I thought Renee looked a little more Courtney Love in that shot than Rob Zombie.

(By the way, have I already bitched about how she's repping my home state?! Haole girl is giving the natives a bad rep!)


Excellent recap. That's a given, but you probably never get tired of reading that.

I want to give a shout out to the funny comments you get. Especially this one by CookieLA:

"I am so over Whoolihay. Take your free bikini and Get Out."

I will possibly never get over the whole Whoolihay story and subsequent recap and am so happy to know I am not alone.

Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay, Whoolihay!


i knew you were gunna point out the lying exit video as sooon as she said it. she swore like a trooper too, jesus even real troopers don't have mouthes as dirty as that. Another episode goes by with Renee using her son as a crutch. jesus we get it you have a son. And Dionne 'can i have this' pure genius, let's be honest after this she's going straight back to where ever she came from to work down at the 7-11 so why not get all she can now.


Thank you, Rich. I've had the shittiest day and was feeling like quite the tooch. But this recap and a glass of Pinot was all it took to turn things around. You're my hero.


OT, but did you hear about Tyra's appearance in Time magazine? I was so horrified, I blogged about it: http://umiumiumi.wordpress.com.


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