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Mag Hag

You're the best, Rich. I thought me and my friends were the only ones who made obscure references to the genius that is "Hookers at the Point." I feel myself lucky to read your recaps each week :)


Ok, let me just get this out of the way: Schoolteacher from Hookers at the Point? You mad motherfucking pop culture in obscura genius! A friend of mine and I used to greet each other by saying, "Does that turn you on? When you look at the chocha?"

I too thought Brittany was a nice, if too sensitive, youngster until her full on cab freakout. Natasha continues to be one of the most brilliant contestants evah.


Hey Rich,

Loved the recap, however I want to make something clear to you -- The "I feel my self [adjective]" is HOW you say that in Russian. Like, in Russian, when you say "I feel happy" and then translate it LITERALLY into English, it ends up as "I feel myself happy." So Natasha is simply speaking Russian translated literally into English. However, it DOES end up with a funny and slightly-sexual connotation to it.


Excellent update, as always.

Have you seen this?


Firstly, I must say that I used to be a huge fan of these recaps. 'Used to be' clearly being the operative words. Now Rich, I am afraid, just like everything else, they have become formulaic. I mean does every recap need a weird NFL-commentator squiggle and/or caricature (um, mr. potato head?! really? that's what it's come to?), the silly twiggy meter (used sparingly, it's novel and cute; over-usage causes tedium - you know that), and the one-liners that used to be gut-wrenchingly funny are now, well, tepid at best...
While I am sympathetic to your plight of having lost all your saved images and starting over, I think you're focusing more on these ridiculous clips as opposed to your true calling: mastery of the written word. For someone who I used to think was borderline genius, it just seems like you're calling it in lately: is your intern burning the midnight oil writing these first drafts with you just slapping your name to it? Sure does seem like it. Sorry to be so harsh man but looks like you might be losing your touch. I hope that's not the case and you can step up your game. Here's to tough love getting you back in the can only dream next week's recap brings back the old magic of season's past recaps.


AWESOME JOB!!! yet again!! YOU're awesome rich! I love you.


hey jason, shut the fuck up.


Hey NatashaFTW (or is it NatashaW(hat)T(he)F(uck), grow the fuck up! Last I checked we all had a right to our opinion. Welcome to America WTF! And for the record, I am not hating, just need it like the good ol' back it up bitch!


What I love the most about this post is the Reh Dogg reference. That boy goes hard!!! he should do a collabo with Brit since they both love to cry so much.


Brilliant stuff. I was reeeeally pissed that Dionne wasn't rinsed for free-loading, and Renee wasn't slapped about for putting PHOTOS OF HER KID in her portfolio. professional or what. Love the recaps (and the pretentious rosie-esque haiku), i'll keep coming back for them even if they're a whole cycle late. Great stuff, love you. I can't help but think of what youre going to make of antm as i watch each new episode, you've opened my eyes man. Just don't mention Perez again.
ps. Ausntm cycle 3 rules, try it, its Antm + vogue = real models (sort of) vying for ultimate prize ergo added bitchiness and desperation. I know, i'm an NTM whore.

Anyone else notice that we finally get to see Renees little penis in the photo of Jaslene_nipples?


"is your intern burning the midnight oil writing these first drafts with you just slapping your name to it?"



I love the recaps whether in-depth or just a quickie; either way, the humour always has a nice bite. I loved Mr. Potato Head! It left me wishing that you would work Gumby and Pokey in somehow...I think sympathetic Pokey walking up on Brit during her tantrum would've helped...actually, I think Jaslene reminds me of Pokey and Brit at the go sees kinda reminded me of Gumby...clay gallumphing, ya know?


I should point out that I've used the Bug-O-Meter three times this cycle -- during the "good 'ol days" it was used much more.

I appreciate the feedback, but I do wish it were more constructive. "Don't be tepid" isn't really helpful to me. Neither is the "weird NFL-commentator squiggle" comment, but that's just because I have no idea what you're referring to. I've done everything I can to evolve these recaps, in fact, so they aren't just the same thing over and over again (because I don't know if you've noticed, but the show is really repetitive). Hence the Pretty Party, the responses from contestants (OK, the responses from Dionne) the all-Natashaspeak recap, etc.

Everything fun gets old and because, Jason, you can't offer me advice beyond, "be good again," I feel that these recaps are that fun thing getting old for you. It sucks, but what can you do? There are recaps from this cycle (not this particular recap, mind you) that satisfy me more than any mixed-media work I've ever done. There's recent writing on this site (as much as it's overshadowed by the ANTM stuff) that's the most lucid expression of my thoughts that I've ever been capable of. In my Natashaheart, I feel myself improving. If you don't, I think you're probably just over it, and that's fine. It happens a lot.


Oh god jtalia i love you

for anyone that missed his comment you MUST see smellrose/melstank's brit-tit-tits at


Mortgage fuck: Hit it today, pay for it for the next 30 years?


Where's the love for Natasha? She's got this in the bag!


As per usual, you are the shizz Rich


Love the recaps as always, but I still don't see what you do in Dionne. She's always been Chris Rock with tits.


I dunno Rich. I still think Renee is the prettiest. I guess I like sleazy girls.


Natasha resembles Ronald McDonald with lipstick, Dionne resembles a black male effeminate porn star whose name I can't think of. I think he was in Bustin out or bustin in or something. So I think it really comes down to Jaslene and Renee, the way Mister J LOL foresees it.


Rudy. Same fierce eyebrows as Dionne.


is it just me? why hasn't anyone on the show mentioned how manly Dionne's hands are? they are wayt o big and clumsy-looking for a top model! that photoshoot with Kim really made it clear that Dionne's got a bad case of MANHANDS!!!


could they pick just one girl that was attractive and intelligent and let her go to the end of the show? homegirls are dumb as a box of rocks.

really surprised about brit. i thought she would go to the final two with that bitch renee and that brit would take it. she has all of the stereotypical qualities for her to take this season. now i guess it will have to be jack/jaslene that takes it. no way in hell that natasha is going to win because they are going to have to cut her soon since she can't speak english. then again they let danielle win and she doesn't speak english either.


oh and i didn't comment on the natasha-speak entry that you did a couple weeks back rich, but it was nothing short of amazing. you should have made a podcast so we could hear your voice in real-time.


Worth the wait! :D

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