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slut machine

first? omg! now i'm gay.


Rich, I saw this when Gabriel from ModFab was in town and it really is ridculous. Come on, it's a beauty pageant, everyone! The singing of the national anthem before every event really got me too. Also the fact that I couldn't figure out the difference between a fisting top and a fisting bottom was for like five minutes got me lots of "Aww, you poor little straight girl" looks from around the room. But why can't you just say fister or fistee, chunky leather boy? And the guy who's tied up in the complicated slipknot just to hang there? What's the point of that? It is a little unsatisfying as far as exploring the hilarity of the situation, but the unintentional hilarity is almost as good. Oh, and the guy struggling with the S&M fantasy with the judges? Hilarious! "I would... lick... his cock... and... cock..."

joe-back mountain

Thanks for the heads up on the doc. The whole hyper masculine thing scares me. I wonder who would win in a fight though...Pepper LaBeija or Mr Leather 2002? The house of Ninja can referee.


Okay, aside from needing a big 'ol NSFW sign, thanks again, Rich, for reviewing the things I never thought I needed reviewing. I find it fascinating that there would be a documentary on Leather Men, and had I heard about it, I would have thought that it was something about the historical accuracy of the Texas Chain Saw massacre.

Leather men, leather face, I'm just a poor straight white girl like shannon.

Somehow, though, I'm intrigued. When are we going to get a review of Orgasmo? Or Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? I would really be interested in reading your reviews--often more insightful than the movie itself!

Aside: when I lived in Utah, there was an SUV in my neighborhood with a gay pride sticker in the window, a Utah license plate that said, "PRSCILLA" and a vanity surround that said, "Queen of the Deseret". Loved it.


I saw this movie, too, and one of my favorite parts was when the one guy did a spin on the catwalk during the pageant. Someone else was like "Don't ever do that again!" as if it was some monumental mistake, as if a little twirl was too...faggy?...for a bunch of men fighting for a sash around their shoulders. Hilarious and confusing.


Rich, I will be at NYC Pride representing my gay moms! After last year's parade I saw two men (of the furry chest persuasion) walking and holding hands. Asked a few questions about the "bears" and "leather" stuff. It was so surreal because they were really down to earth and so excited to share their info. I don't know how homophobes can resist being captivated by gay men. "Yes I AM wearing women's clothing! And it was on SALE!" I love the total joy of it....yeah Pride!!!

amazing review. these films keep popping up too, now there is one on a bear pagent.

After "Paris is Burning", it is nearly impossible to make a watchable documentary about another gay subculture, but the kids keep trying.


Sooooooooo true. Thanks for breaking this down in your usual funny way. I wonder what aliens would think of the human race if they landed on Earth and witnessed a pageant like this...


Leather queens are the faggiest fags who ever fagged! Most of them, when they open their mouths, a purse would fall out (leather of course).
"What's in the air in San Francisco that keeps more women from getting pregnant? Men's legs."
I'm sure there are a lot that are leather clad.


Not your best review.


Oh my God, remember when they had the Mr. America pageant on TV years ago? I wonder why that never took off... I remember it being totally gay and I mean that both figuratively and literally. At the same time!

International Male Leather is held every year in Chicago, in the Palmer House of all places. It's a hotel that's like tourist central in the heart of the Loop. Families from all over the Midwest rooming with men in leashes and gimp masks. Every year I hang out downtown and try and find any leather men that I'd hit if given the chance and always come up snake eyes - they never look like the leather dudes in porn. Sidenote - porn stars are SHORT. All of them. I guess it makes the wenis look larger. I'm on a bored-at-work tangent in your comments section, make me stop. Lastly, I love the people who comment simply, "Not your best review". Rich, I truly hope you've learned to live their disappointment.


AP -

Not your best review of Rich's reviews.


that whole "get your fist out of my ass" comment made me laugh...

I am not turned on by fisting whatsoever, despite the fact that I am completely turned on by the leather scene...

But after a fiasco involving crisco, some crystal meth, a fist virgin (him a bottom, me the 'expert' top), two hours of total boredom and what could only be called the world's first period out of a man's ass... never again...

I could only imagine the look of sheer horror had you been the fly on THAT wall Rich LOL

Rich fan

Rich, you should teach sociology. I found your analysis quite interesting.

BTW, the next time I get in a fight or am the subject of gossip, I'm using "just keep my name out your mouth and your fist out my ass!"


Thank you for enlightening me with this review, Rich. I guess I have never really thought anything about the leather community and am fascinated by this little subculture.

I am curious (please don't laugh at me) how does one test rectal freshness? I mean, are there a lot of different ways?


Informative and funny as usual.

Great job, Rich.


Can somebody please tell me what "tit trips" are? It wasn't in the urban dictionary, and a google search just revealed lots of porn.


Great review, Rich. I have the same reaction to leathermen; mild fascination tinged with pity and frustration. Swaddling yourself in cowhide does NOT make one beefy!

Although, in my (limited) experience, I find them to be delightfully fun drunks.
Could just be the poppers talking, though.

Last weekend I found myself playing poker (not a euphemism) with a guy who looks just like you, Rich. Spitting fucking image.
He was a funny bugger, too. He also beat the pants off of me. Oddly, I didn't much mind.



Tit tripping is incredibly intense nipple play - and torture - to the point of hallucination.

Brandon H

I'm heading out of town, but I'm definately going to come back and comment on this. Great observation. See you Sunday!



Fantastic review. I think you nailed it when you addressed the concept of "hyper-masculinity." There is nothing inherently masculine in mimicking masculinity, especially when it's such a cartoonish form of masculinity. How else are these guys evaluated in their manliness besides their leather outfits and sex fetishes? The trouble is that most truly masculine traits are totally intangible.


You nailed it, Rich. A terrific and insightful review. It's amazing how insular the members of the leather community can be and their mortifying lack of perspective, um...not funny and most definitely not hot.


You totally should run for Mr. Metrocub 2008 at the Gay and Lesbian Center. Fancy, no?

I'm gonna work up some bullet points, dance moves, and costume suggestions to help you kick off your leather pageantry career.

Dream the dream, Rich. Dream the dream!


Leather kinda creeps me out...I'm not gonna lie. I completely echo your sentiments of "keep your fist outta my ass", Rich.
No adult diapers for this homo!

As for this:
"A lot of gay-male stereotypes really bug me, but that of the ultra-sexual gay man doesn't. Ultimately, it's like, hell yeah we fuck a lot. Jealous?"

Thats hot.
I'm always amazed when people act like its "shocking" how sexual (and active) gay men tend to be! I mean...seriously people!

Girls will tell most heterosexual relationships, its the guy who initiates most of the sex. Why? Because guys are horny freaking animals! Put two horny animals together...what the hell do they think will happen? Sex sex sex sex dirty-sweaty-sex!



Please forgive me, but what is a "PA"?

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