Rich vs. R-id

If T.I. can battle with himself for the sake of catharsis (or whatever the fuck the point of T.I. vs. T.I.P. is), then so can I, damn it. Below, my gut and sense of reason duke it out over the album.

R-id: This album suuuuuuucks.

Rich: It's not very good, it's true. But no piece of pop culture deserves to be dismissed outright. You can do so much with garbage -- laugh at it, seethe over it, love to hate yourself for loving it. And sometimes there's even insight to be had at the bottom of the trash heap.

R-id: Oh yeah. Insight abounds in a lyric like, "I'm da dopeman, nigga / Da dopeman, nigga / Da dope dope dope, dopeman nigga." That shit makes "Rubber Band Man" seem well-rounded.

Rich: It's the strangest thing -- as a conscious decision to present multiple sides/personalities, you'd think that T.I. vs. T.I.P. would somehow reveal more than we already know about T.I...

R-id: ...which, in your perspective, is virtually nothing anyway since you only really started paying attention to him when King was released last year!

Rich: Yeah, like most people. Whatever, that levels the playing field with most potential readers. My ignorance makes me that much more curious about what goes on in this dude's pretty little head. But, as I was saying, I come away knowing so little. T.I.P. lives (and maybe will die) in the streets, while T.I. is an industry man, a bottle-poppin', jet-takin', Eminem-befriendin' celebrity. The setup of the album -- devoting about 40 percent to the street life of T.I.P., another 40 percent to the ballin' of T.I. and 20 percent to an incoherent verbal ping-pong between the two -- is really literal, but, more detrimentally, so is the execution. By focusing on how his life works instead of how his mind works, the album is ultimately 70 minutes of pseudo-analytic babble.

R-id: Yeah, and who cares about his fucking life?

Rich: Well, the question of how fame changes you and how much of the past you are to hold onto if you are to hold onto your identity is completely fascinating. What's real? Are you who you say you are or who other people say you are? And when there are so many people weighing in on who you are, aren't you so fragmented that you're barely no one, even though, as a celebrity, you're SOMEONE, inherently in all caps? The more exposed you are, the more your consciousness is at the mercy of others. That has to fuck with your head entirely. But I'm not sure that T.I. is equipped to describe the weird place in which fame puts your head. It would seem that he already conveyed this multifaceted consciousness by placing the no-bullshit hustler sentiment of "What You Know" in the shiny, blinging context of its larger-than-life video.

R-id: For all his talk, he has nothing to say. No ideas. Nothing. Bankrupt. My vacuum cleaner is more revealing, even when it's turned off.

Rich: It's true that there's about a 3-song EP's worth of worthwhile material within these 18 tracks. He's chewing Saltines here. His limber tongue and nice teeth may make that fun to watch, but seriously: Saltines.

R-id: He may have some peanut butter mixed in, too, if his mushmouth his any indication. He says, "You know what it ihhhuhhhh" instead of, "You know what it is." "Face" is "fay" and "watch" becomes "watt," in T.I.speak. You know who he reminds us of? That girl with Down syndrome who lived next door to grandma and, through the chain link fence, would always invite me over, imploring me to, "Come over to my howwwww! Come inside my howwwww!"

Rich: It was years before I realized that that girl had Down syndrome. I just thought she was loud and her tongue was lazy. She was nice, though.

R-id: Her shirt was always filthy. Like I-just-got-done-rolling-on-the-ground-now-come-over-to-my-howwwww-and-watch-me-bathe filthy.

Rich: Dirty like the South! The South and his self-appointed title of King of it, by the way, I think is what drives T.I. to emphasize his words with weak annunciation. It's almost fetishistic, the way he slangs his Southern roots.

R-id: The South is soooooo over! The sound of this record is extremely 2005.

Rich: Well, commenting on a sound like that is a slippery slope. There's something to be said for form: tinny 808 sounding beats, guttural sub-bass and jarring, three-note melodies are tenants of the Southern sound. Complaining about that is like complaining that red, blue and yellow are primary colors. But at the same time, if the South is going to march in place, people are going to get sick of it. I am, at least -- its turn for faux rock-ishness, with synthesizers wailing like guitars, doesn't exactly count as progress since people have been talking about crunk's parallels with punk since crunk became something to talk about at all. But more than that, I think that the problem with this album is that T.I. or T.I.P. or whomever Clifford Harris feels like being at any given point, is otherwise lazy. For as much as he huffs and puffs, his choruses blow. They're unmemorable to the point where the entire album feels like a monotone rant. I thought the whole point of the setup was the provide variety? It's to the point where, midway through the album, "Show It To Me," becomes the best track by merely suggesting a live-band setup (though it sounds faux-live). Variation makes all the difference -- it's the best track at that point and it features Nelly! Nelly!

R-id: And he's an asshole.

Rich: Indeed, talking about leaking g-spots and shit. Has he even seen a vagina? And, here's something that's been bugging me for, oh, seven years: does he know that "Nelly" is another word for "fag?"

R-id: Eminem probably does. I bring him up because, eventually it turns out that the track Em guests on (and helped produce), "Touchdown," is the album's absolute best track. And it features Eminem! Eminem!

Rich: And he's an even bigger asshole. It's true, though -- there's something poignant about this track that goes beyond its adorable, uplifting horns. Something about how traveling is a great leveler -- when you're up in the air, even though you're a superstar and where you belong figuratively, it's almost like you're suspended in time given your limited resources. You can't do shit except read or watch a movie or get head. I imagine that it's a great refuge for celebs who face mobs and scrutiny when they touchdown.

R-id: I'd like to take the opportunity to scrutinize T.I., no matter where he happens to be on the space-time continuum. I'd specifically like to bring up the insistence of this beautiful man on staying together with Tameka "Tiny" Cottle.

Rich: Oh Jesus.

R-id: I mean, come on. At this point, she's terrifying. If Mariah Carey had a parasitic, formerly conjoined twin a la Basket Case, it would be Tiny.

Rich: Ha. Tiny is the Belial to Mariah's Duane. I totally see it. But really, this has nothing to do with anything.

[Tiny photo via Sandra Rose and Concreteloop.]

R-id: I'm your id, stupid. Everything from me has to do with everything.

Rich: Well, I guess the case could be made that the fact that he loves her so much and stays with her despite the fact that he could have virtually any woman (and virtually any gay man) he wants lets you know more about what kind of man he is than anything on T.I. vs. T.I.P.

R-id: That damn album.

Rich: That damn album, indeed. You know, I do appreciate the fact that he's trying to do something conceptual, something beyond just making another album.

R-id: That T.I. thinks we care so much about him that we'd care about two of him is complete and utter hubris.

Rich: Anyone thinking that anyone cares about what they have to say is arrogant.

R-id: Hence this blog?

Rich: I guess. We live in arrogant, selfish times. That doesn't offend me nearly as much as the T.I. track, "Help Is Coming," in which he professes to be "the man who can save hip-hop." As though his work is charity! He says in the latest Vibe: "I'm only gonna make songs that the market supports...Hopefully we'll get more Chevy commercials out of [this album]. This is a business, brah. I'm not going to cut off my nose to spite my face. Some of my best songs most of my fans have never even heard. For your own self-gratification, you make the songs you want to make around those other songs. You get them in where you can, but I'm not fixing to block my blessings."

R-id: Disgusting.

Rich: Maybe, but not more so than your normal pop artist and at least he's upfront and articulate about it. It's just gross that he pretends that his self-investment is altruistic. Clearly, the only thing he's trying to save is a nest egg.

R-id: He's a hustler, whether he's T.I.P. or T.I.

Rich: It would seem that that's the case. That's another reason the album ultimately fails. When T.I.P. and T.I. finally meet, it's impossible to tell the difference between the two: it's the same fucking person talking to himself. An exchange during T.I. and T.I.P.'s third-act confrontation regarding the 2006 death of his childhood friend Philant "Big Phil" Johnson goes: "…All you gotta do is ride it out." "Ride it out my ass. That what got my motherfuckin' partner killed, man." "Man, you think I meant for that shit to motherfuckin' go down, dog?" "It don't matter what the fuck you meant, homeboy. That what it is." It's cathartic, but damn if he doesn't sound like a homeless man ranting to himself.

R-id: The ultimate message of T.I. vs. T.I.P. has nothing to do with art or commerce (since it's so damn un-catchy). It's that talking to yourself is, actually, kinda fun.

Rich: Well, duh.

Comments

[Leanne]

I still love the MTV clip where you questioned whether the glitter on TI's hoodie was gay or not.

You have officially made Down Syndrome children scary Rich.

[Leslie4reals]

Someone better holla at TI or TIP to buy Tiny a nose job and a facial, damn!

[Miss Kitty]

Rich, you've made multiple personality disorder funny. And you've saved me $15, too!

[Skipping Towards Jaded]

Tiny has everything to do with everything. When is the Xscape reunion going to happen? And are they going to put her waaaaay in the back on that album like "Traces Of My Lipstick" ? These questions are way more important than T.I and his alter ego superhero T.I.P

[mariaaaaa]

"Tiny is the Belial to Mariah's Duane."

OMG. Just, OMG.

I think I know what the animanga I've always wanted to create is going to be about now...

P.S. I am devastated by the awesomeness of this post. I heart Rich and R-id.
P.P.S. Belial ::snicker::

[Deege]

You. Are. A. Foooooooooool! And I love it!

[n]

So should I shell out 99 cents for the Eminem track? I've been getting sick of him over the years too. Is it a silly-Eminem track or a serious-Eminem track? One of my favorite Em tracks is that one where he guests on Dr. Dre's 2001: "Nowdays, everybody wanna talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish. The motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre."

[killervirgo]

I couldn't name a song by T.I. or T.I.P., but the Basket Case reference was hi-larious.

Damn ... you could do some serious damage on the World Series of Pop Culture, if weren't employed by vh1.

[RectilinearPropagation]

That was awesome!

You should write a book. It doesn't matter what it's about because you're funny regardless.

[katy]

TI (and TIP) played at my University's annual SunGod concert in May. He kept calling himself the King, and asking if there were any freaks in the audience who wanted him. Typical rapper, right?

The funniest thing, aside from his three names, was his DJ who would play the sound of a gunshot and glass shattering after every song, literally AFTER EVERY SONG. And even funnier than that was he kept calling our school by the wrong name; "Make some noise San Diego University!" was said at least three to four times during his performance. (We are University of California San Diego, and there is also San Diego State and the University of San Diego...but I guess he likes to make up names cause San Diego University doesn't exist.) Needless to say we didn't make a lot of noise and people were trickling out of the concert after two songs into his set.

Just a random little tid bit for ya, Rich.

[aj]

Again, I ask: WTF is the banner all about?

[Joshua]

OH MY GOD you did not go there with Tiny vs. Mariah. Do you want to? Like I want to? Want to make love to you???? Say you do!

PS IMPORTANT QUESTION TO RICH AND EVERYONE ELSE:

I swear to god there was a black male R&B/hip hop singer from the late 90s (?) who was also named TI who had 1 hit that was kind of a mid-to-uptempo song that had gunshots in the chorus? Anyone know what I'm talking about? If so, PLEASE let me know. I have been dying racking my brains for the last few months about this!

[Kevin]

I recently heard a radio interview with I before P, but after T where he bragged that he's held millions of his own dollars in his hands before, then a minute later told listeners that it's crucial for us to buy his album. Because he might go poor, or something. I hope your review somehow contributes to that.

[elbow]

You know what... once I saw you at the circuit city at union square and I was stading behind you in line and was internally freaking out because I wanted to say something and now my chance has past, but I also want to say that talking to yourself IS funny and TIP owns that.

[Matt]

I'm glad someone else went there with the Down Syndrome thing. I've been holding a joke in about T.I. uh, P... and down syndrome for months now! Cheers!

[Matt]

I'm glad someone else went there with the Down Syndrome thing. I've been holding a joke in about T.I. uh, P... and down syndrome for months now! Cheers!

[Matt]

I'm glad someone else went there with the Down Syndrome thing. I've been holding a joke in about T.I. uh, P... and down syndrome for months now! Cheers!

[Matt]

whoops ^is dumb.

[primeau]

the thing with ti is that, in reality, he has never really made a solid album. even king, which tons of folks went on endlessly about, was still only about a 3.5 out of 5; such as the case with the two previous. ( i really did pay attention to him prior to king) his first record was less than those... he is quite talented i believe; and when he does that little dance in his videos, i get a little steamy, but it never translates to 70 + minutes of disc. (sadly, i also kind of like that speech impediment that he has in his songs, sue me.) this disc in particular is also about a 3, and just went a bit too wrong. ultimately it is a problem that plagues a lot of artist records, way too fucking long. i miss the days of 35-40 minute discs. (thankfully my heroes saint etienne adhere to that!) most artists only have about that much real inspiration and the other 35-40 minutes is just filler that plods on. if he could just condense things a bit, and really step up his game, i do think he is capable of a master work akin to some of the other great rap/hip-hop artists in time.

[Erin]

I've been watching T.I. on Music Choice on Demand, courtesy Time Warner for the past few weeks.

On Demand is the best thing to happen to procrastination and piece-of-shit laziness since web browsing was invented.

I love T.I. He looks like Baby Gerald from the Simpsons.

[Crescent]

totally off topic and I always do this but what is the movie in the banner this week? Does anyone know?

[Law Diva]

Okay this post was EXCELLENT...I mean it doesn't take anything away from how much I LOVE TI and how much I think he brings to the game right now, lol, but EXCELLENT non-the-less...The Tiny part was so unexpected that I was dying laughing at the thought that a gay man is wondering the same question as most of the straight women that I know, lol! Seriously, the post was great!
Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure as you also seem to think that the pronunciation thing is exaggerated to keep his southern street roots prominent, lol, when he's having intelligent discussions, he diction isn't like that

@Primeau, I would agree that King was about a 3.5, but you are mistaken about the previous albums. Most fans will tell you that Urban Legend his 3rd CD which gave him the build up for King and put him on the brink of going from a kind of known rapper to an international star. Most fans will tell you that Urban Legend was damn near flawless, I mean I can listen to it without being mad that I can't find my remote to skip any songs. If I am listening to it with my remote in my hand I may only skip one song and that's usually after TI's verse is over and BG's verse begins.

As for the first two albums, although I own them both now, I will admit that was before my time as a fan and those albums are a bit uneven, there are some prolific songs on the album but there's also a lot of songs that sound like a new artist - a 20 year old at that for the first one - trying to find himself and his style. But hey, everyone isn't always going to like the same things!

[Kingdom]

I agree. Why couldn't they get at least a couple of decent R&B chicks on the hooks? In a dream the hooks would be sung by Yummy Bingham, Nicole Wray, Teedra Moses, and Brandy, but that's just me. And the beats are weak / annoying to listen to.

[Theres-a Von Chillingworth]

Quick question... in "You know What it is" or whatever that song is called, does he say "I love that llama" in the hook? It goes something like "mumble mumble mumble, I'm a real big time-a, man I love that llama, you know what it is?" I know It sounds crazy, but I just need to know... thanx hun! :) btw...hate this album too but I Luv ur posts!! TI hasn't been the same since "Trap Muziq"

[grownnsxc]

LOVE Urban Legend.
Not so much TI v. TIP.