If I could travel back to any time and go any place, it would be to the late '70s/early '80s (see how graciously I fantasize? I don't even demand absolute precision from time machines or nothin') in Times Square. The only thing I crave more than that level of filth is Orange Julius -- both products of a Jersey upbringing, no doubt. I'm guessing that the closest thing we'd have to a modern equivalent that kind of mass seediness it would be a guided tour of a dump (or, you know, Staten Island) given by Shar Jackson and Katie Price. Even the chances of a rape occurring with those two around would probably be equal to grindhouse Times Square. They'd be the ones doing the raping, though. Modern twist! But I digress...
Anyway, I never really considered what the outer boroughs would be like during that era until I watched 1983's Vigilante the other night, which was just fucking awesome. The director, William Lustig, also did Maniac and Maniac Cop, which are trash-tastic in their own brutal and absurd (respectively) right. Lustig's films are lean, direct and totally ridiculous. The level of exaggeration is healthy throughout, so they never dip into time-filling doldrums like so many other b-movies of their ilk. In all, Lustig's equal parts Ernest Hemingway and Ernest Goes to Jail.
Anyway, Vigilante, which I guess is a rip-off of Death Wish (but I've never seen Death Wish -- it's just what I hear) takes place outside of Manhattan in what appears to be all sorts of neighborhoods (did I spot Red Hook at one point?). One of such neighborhoods is in Williamsburg (or Greenpoint -- I've lived here for 4 years and I still don't know the official boundaries) during this chase scene through McCarren Park Pool. Back then, it was abandoned and dry and now it's a concert venue. It's about a 10-minute walk from my apartment now. It's really novel to see how things looked in my hood at a time even more roach-encrusted than now. Judging by the general hygiene of those under 40 in my neighborhood, I bet that the pool was less germ-filled as a stagnant, dirty abandoned hole in the ground than it is now as a heavily trekked indie-rock source. But there's no way to be sure about that, now is there?
Anyway, the scene below is the McCarren Park Pool one. If you were curious about the video featuring my new former hero (up and to the left), this is what happens a few minutes later. See? Wheel chair guy didn't get hurt! It's all good. Now you can sleep at night. [edit: WTF? Someone reported that within 12 hours of me uploading it? It's from a movie, fools! Animated gif TK.] Also, beyond its novelty, this scene is pretty hilarious with its overly dramatic synth score, fence shaking and slow-moving trickery.
I think that the real moral here, though, is that in McCarren Park Pool, the faces have changed, but the ball-choking jeans are just the same.
You know, that chase scene is just like the one from Casino Royale, only even more intense, if that is even possible.
De-lurking, hi!
Posted by: Claire | July 05, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Ball choking jeans, ha!
By the way I have the recipe to make an Orange Julius if you really crave one, Rich.
Did you notice when he got to the fence you could see the WTC in the background? Always gets you in totally random places.
Posted by: Leanne | July 05, 2007 at 12:24 PM
You've. Never. Seen. Death Wish?
*swoons*
Charles Bronson is rolling in his grave. Wait. He's dead, right?
Posted by: Deege | July 05, 2007 at 12:40 PM
I was just at McCarren park pool on Tuesday for a screening of "Bring It On," (super fun!) and it's so neat to see in that clip how little has changed. I love how they've left the whole pool area so awesomely derelict - I think the only difference it the graffiti's been painted over.
Posted by: krikri | July 05, 2007 at 01:08 PM
Yo! Miss Leanne: Share the love! We all want to know how to make Orange Julius. :)
I love seeing old movies/shows set in San Francisco. I like seeing areas that used to be dumps but now are less dumpy and riddled with $900K condos.
Posted by: mla | July 05, 2007 at 01:22 PM
It gets so pervy at the end. "Save some for me..." They're totally going to tag team that runaway bottom.
Posted by: Kevin | July 05, 2007 at 01:46 PM
It is sorta pervy at the end, but I liked it! Thanks for sharing & I heart your new banner.
Posted by: Gwen | July 05, 2007 at 02:28 PM
Okay, here is the Orange Julius recipe my dad made for us growing up (I think he harrassed some guy at the mall stand until he gave up the recipe.) For any strawberry/coconut variations you're on your own:
6 oz. can frozen concentrated orange juice
1 cup milk - low-fat okay
1 cup water
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
8 ice cubes
-Pour all ingredients, except ice cubes, in a blender.
-Blend ingredients. Add ice cubes one at a time until smooth and frothy.
-Also tastes good without the sugar.
It's my gift to Rich for a great blog :-)
Posted by: Leanne | July 05, 2007 at 04:29 PM
i'll roll over for any film that involves one adult calling another a "fuckin' dummy." that's quality writing! it's REAL.
Posted by: theodora | July 05, 2007 at 04:29 PM
Correction on the Orange Julius recipe: It's POWDERED sugar, not granulated for all you purists out there :-)
Posted by: Leanne | July 05, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Also a good one from that era is "Vice Squad", which I know is only available on VHS!
Pretty much everything that happened in 1983 is divine...in entertainment at least.
Posted by: Scott | July 05, 2007 at 06:13 PM
Rich,
WTF is up with that McCarren Park Pool home page: http://www.mccarrenpark.com
On the left side there is a pic of a topless chick in her late 40's at least, with drinks hiding her nips! What happens in McCarren Park Pool stays in...well, you get the cliche.
Posted by: Griffin | July 05, 2007 at 09:07 PM
It isn't going to be a venue for much longer. It's turning back into a pool.
Posted by: ACP | July 05, 2007 at 10:02 PM
Death Wish is truly fantastic.
It's the best kind of "trashy" movie--it's much more than the reactionary celebration of vigilanteism that it has become/is considered.
Beyond the specificity of New York in the 70's (which is awesome on its own), Death Wish is about the end of the Age of Aquarius--the hawks "are proven right" and convert the doves after all...
But it also seems to be making fun of the audience, like it's daring us to identify not just with Charles Bronson* but also all of the New Yorkers who cheer him on as he blows away all the dark dirt from the streets...
Death Wish is crazy. It'd be a treat to hear what you think about it.
*full name=Charles Bronson, holy
Posted by: Mountain Lion | July 05, 2007 at 11:27 PM
You know Rich, I've always wanted to visit Time Square in specifically the "late 70s - early 80s" and I even reference it in my head with the Orange Julius image. Verrrrrry interesting. For me, the movie Fame was what solified the love.
Posted by: Benny K | July 06, 2007 at 01:14 AM
There still are Orange Julius's out in southern cali :D
I only have to drive a block to the mall to get some cold frothy orange heaven
also there is some merange powder in it as well, my friend in high school workrd there and I remember her making it at home with the powder.
Posted by: Shelly | July 06, 2007 at 01:36 AM
We have an Orange Julius up here in Moncton, NB. I'll host you, among other things, if you'd like to come get one.
Posted by: AntBee | July 06, 2007 at 10:38 AM
have you ever seen the movie Times Square? its great if youre into 80s nyc nostalgia
Posted by: bob smith | July 06, 2007 at 12:05 PM
OMG That first jump scene is so lame, it's perfect. LOL
Posted by: Xtina | July 07, 2007 at 04:14 PM
The above article in the NYTimes from today has a mention of the McCarron pool -- they're reopening it!
Posted by: kit | July 09, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Notice that the slow motion happened when they jumped over a long distance? How bad of a rip-off of the "Six Million Dollar Man" was that!
Posted by: Lawrencr | July 11, 2007 at 05:13 PM
xHRlFM
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