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August 31, 2007



Yay! Another cycle, more mockery. Though I'm disappointed that Saleisha ranks above Bianca and Kimberly! I love love love Kimberly...or as I have named her...Booberly.


Sarah looks healthy, like she could be one of the fitness models demonstrating exercises in Shape magazine and the like. If she's smart (i.e., if she ignores everything the judges say) that's how she'll market herself. She just needs to get a little more cut.


Thank you Rich, for watching their videos so I don't have to. Speaking of "Aiesha", they played that in the Goodwill last weekend and yes, my cousin and I sang that song for all it was worth in the middle of the store...Ah, cheap clothes and ABC. Good times.


After seeing that video all I can say is....Oooo Fah!

*10 mins later*
Buck-tooth Jenah is the only one that looks pretty. Victoria, Chantal and Mila make me lose faith in modelmanity. Jesus wept. And Kimberly is a fucking space alien, later for that shit.


Victoria and Heather are my favorites, even though Heather reminds me of BeckyBuckwild... Sarah rounds out the top 3. And I HAAAAATE Saleisha's name. Sale- isha? Um, ew.


Brandy = space alien with Downs Syndrome. That's so WRONG....yet so right!


Kimberly looks a lot like Adrienne, which makes me doubt she'll get too far. Tyra and Co I'm sure are still pretty filled with wrath for her. Of course, Heather looks bizarrely like Buckwild, which is an even more amusing resemblance (love her, but on Top Model??)


Wait, Jaslene's...success? When did this happen?

Ummm, anyway, Chantal is from Austin, like me, and her name is Chantal, so I predict some fun to be had at the expense of the hometown girl, at least for me. I mean, I'm sure she'll be no match for poor blind albino crystal-loving Amanda, but a girl can dream. I like your top three picks, but I'm not having strong feelings one way or the other about any of these girls yet. Maybe I should go check out the video.


OMG you guys are sooo right - Heather = Buckwild. It's also like her huge schnozz is the elephant in the room that nobody's talking about - wtf?
Sarah for the win, definitely - she's beautiful & healthy. Totally NOT plus-sized, but that's neither here nor there.
Rich! I read you every day and I've been anxiously awaiting your return to the ANTM trainwreck. Can't wait til this gets in full swing!


Holy crap, Sarah is gorgeous. And I feel slightly offended as I have the exact same weight/height measurements as her. I ain't no plus size! That's for the double-digits, fool.

Whatever. I hope she wins. She's prettier than the rest of them.


this show and your posts about it may be the only thing that encourages me to wake in the morning.

i hate my job.

is it me or do all these girls need proactive?

Joe Marrazzo

These girls literally define cut-rate. I'm hoping they bring it on the photo shoots, but going off of these shots - it's like America's Next Top American Apparel Model. Maybe they can have a photoshoot where Dov Charney masterbates next to them as they lounge in nothing by a pair of colored tights. HOT!

Chantel was in the original Hills Have Eyes - she's very scary in it! Janet is actually a hot 45 yr old soccer mom from Minnesota. Lisa has crotch rot from unsanitary stripper poles from her time down at the "Bacon Strip". Mila is a bored Russian hooker and the love of my life. Ambreal - has a fro'd out sassy black girl ever made it far in this competition? They may work in your favor! Victoria looks terrified and her shiny face made me temprorarily blind. Heather looks like she could work the short hairdo like a pro. Kimberly just fucked me with her eyes and I kinda dug it. Saliesha for the win - GORJ! Sarah - not so much. Kinda Delta Airlines Flight Attendant in the pic. She rocks the solid calves, though!


Just some general observations:

Sarah = hotness. She's like a fuller, prettier version of Mischa Barton with her new dark hair. Too bad she'll probably be called out for "relying on pretty" more often than not...

Mila = Nicollette Sheridan/Russian-gladiator

Jenah = Lori Petty (i.e. Kit, from A League of Their Own)

Janet...for some reason she's evoking Alyssa Milano (ala her short-haired years) for me. I don't love her.

Chantal = Trishelle from Real World...if Trishelle stuck her head in a vice. I don't know though...I'm torn on her. She's total FUG-incarnate in this shot, but I could see her photographing well if she learns her angles.

Oh...and Kimberly rocks. She's skankalicious and rauncy, and I fucking love it!

Ah...ANTM season has started, as have your blogs, Rich. All is right in the world once more...


Ambreal: She looks like a younger version of my old boss. The one I hated with every fibre of my being? Yeah, that one. Ergo, I don’t like Ambreal. However, objectively.... nah. Do not like.

Bianca: I love Bianca’s answer to the question “What quality do I bring that no one else has” Her answer: “My drive”. Uhhh…s’cuse me – weren’t you the one who just said you don’t have to do anything to win but just sit back, relax, and wait to be crowned? Yeah – you’re full of the drive! FAIL!

Ebony: Favourite answer of Ebony’s “…the opportunity to wear cuntour” CUNTOUR!!

Heather: She cracks me up – I wasn’t sure exactly what she was saying about what her secret weapon was – but it certainly wasn’t her ability to articulate an idea!

Janet: I think Janet’s really attractive – has a very nice mouth – but her voice is REALLY irritating to me!

Jenah: BLECH! Blech, blech. I didn’t like ANYTHING about her. Not her face, her look, her mannerisms, her voice, her rabbity teeth or crazy-eyes, the way she carries herself, her gestures - nothing. BLECH! BEGONE! Do you welcome *that* critique honeylamb?

Kimberly – nice upper cat face – great breasts. That’s about all I got. Except – Shamoo? Her dream is to have a photoshoot with Shamoo?

Lisa: Lisa’s got that weird Alicia Keyes thing happening. You know how Alicia’s face at first looks pretty, but the more you look at it, it becomes kinda…off? Like she zipped up her skin wrong when she put on her human costume that morning? Yeah – like that.

Mila: AHHHHHHHHH! She looks like Paris Hilton’s cracka cousin! FAIL.

Saleisha: Prettttttttyyyyyyy. Of course there’s the whole dichotomy of “I didn’t audition for the show (because I didn’t think it was worth my damn time), but this is her “chance to show why she should be America’s next top model”? (Because she didn’t want audition y’all. She should just win cause she’s pretty. Yeah, just like that.

Sarah: I think she’s got a great look. Good bones, great hair (which’ll get wrecked in the makeovers but hopefully they’ll just add some lowlights/highlights), comes across as real, and bubbly, but am worried about her no experience ever combined with her kind of flail-ly movements and nervous discomfort in front of the camera – could be bad news, but right of the top – she’s my pick.

Victoria: I agree with you, Victoria. It’s a complete joke that you’re on this show.


I am HOT for Kimberly.
She is: Jane Birkin for the 21st century.


I'm sooo excited!!! Everything is cycles for me now. My husband caught me asking when the new cycle of Real Time With Bill Maher started. Oh well, he was on ANTM last season & dates these girls (reportedly), so it makes sense! Your recaps just make my whole day better. I can't wait!


Rich, did you just say that ANTM is becoming LESS shammier? Steal back your protein shake from Winston--you're getting light headed!


You people are funny...

I am wondering what kind of stripper Lisa can possibly be. I have never, ever eva eva eva seen a BLACK stripper that damn skinny.

She gets no tips.

MILA and Saleisha for the win!!



Man, I miss the Muppet Show!

I want to agree with you about Sara but she looks way too normal to win.


i completely agree about the adrienne curry=kimberly janet=alyssa milano and the heather=buckwild comparisons... i have to say tho, they do look more like real models and less like mildly attractive mall girls. except for chantal, she looks like she belongs on days of our lives or passions.

do you hear that? thats my monday morning bitchiness gettin ready to go into hibernation!


OK, I just frame-by-framed the leaked intro - why doesn't CariDee have a "portrait with Tyra"?

Damn, if that's all the conspiracy I can muster up, I must need a nap.


You are so welcome and thank YOU for the amazing rundown. As always, your comments and insight are DEAD ON. I pick fattie/not-so-fattie too. Tyra has been wanting to crown a big girl forever.
One more thing - is Adrienne the only winner that is NOT SHOWN in the intro? That's odd!


someones still a genius!!!!

my new mix is posted on my link here


The Secret of Nimh! *sigh*

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