To get you ready for tonight's cycle premiere of ANTM, I've compiled a greatest-hits package of sorts after the jump: it's a big cluster of some of my favorite animated gifs I've made over the cycles. On my own and via some help (thanks to Erin and Caitlin), I've noticed a few sites have made big posts of gifs that I've taken and I have to say that a sea of mugging Tyras all on one page is pretty fucking hypnotizing. So, to reclaim what I've essentially taken from television, I thought I'd compile my own. Call it a wall of motion. Call it my art. Call it the extent of my accomplishment in my 28 years on earth.
Going over my files, I found the first Tyra gif I ever made in a folder simply titled "Tyra gif." To think that there was a day when there was just one!
And now, grabbing frames from DVD and threading them together is practically second nature to me. I've evolved so much as a person! Thank you, ANTM!
Keep in mind that there are tons of gifs below, so the page is going to take a while to load. Hit the jump an then go do something productive. I suggest flossing. Seriously, it's important and there's no worse smell on earth than plaque breath. You don't want people to think you have a rotting corpse in your mouth when you talk to them, do you?
And, while I'm at it here's a bonus cluster of some of my favorite non-Tyra dumbness:
I have to say that after all this time...
...that felt fabulous all over again.
Oh, and if you're into it, there's an ANTM Fantasy Game here. It's like Fantasy Baseball with 25 percent more gayness. I'm not a gambling man and I'm terrible at predicting that kinda stuff, so as to salvage my self-esteem, I will not be taking part. But you should if you're into that sort of thing.
All day I was thinking, "Yes! Fucking Top Model is back tonight and I am pissing myself with excietment even though Tyra will annoy me in the first 15 minutes." (and wasn't I wildly over-optimistic in that estimate? It only took 8 minutes for that musical number to emerge in all its ear-shattering fierceness.) But half the reason I'm excited is just so I can read your recaps. Top Model without you, Rich my gay pretend boyfriend, is like being a crackhead without a dirty pop can to smoke my rock in.
I only know about crackhead/pop can thing because of HBO documentaries. Just one more fetish we share.
Posted by: Vanessa | September 19, 2007 at 11:05 PM
Rich, you are going to have a field day with anybody named SPONTANIOUSE. For real!
Posted by: fan | September 19, 2007 at 11:33 PM
Loves it! Tyra is so weirdly irritating, why do I love ANTM so much!?! Thanks for bringing back those twirling, swirl twins! I can't wait for the re-cap...
Posted by: Sherriann | September 19, 2007 at 11:36 PM
So, I just watched the first episode, and all I could think was..."Really? Did that really just happen?" It's just....there are no words. I can't wait to see it edited, shaped and mocked by your awesome post. I've also been reading your Rock of Love coverage, and I love it. Seriously, almost better than the actual show. Because Bret's eager stupidity makes me a little uncomfortable.
Posted by: Lisa | September 20, 2007 at 12:08 AM
I know trying to pick a favorite tyra gif is like trying to catch a rainbow but for serious, left hand column, fourth one down, strapless silver dress, the finger, the tongue? Oh shit that made me laugh as hard as seeing the name "Spontaniouse" spelled out on screen tonight did.
Posted by: Lupes | September 20, 2007 at 12:48 AM
i love you.
Posted by: meme | September 20, 2007 at 01:33 AM
The Whitney crying clip will always be my favorite. It's like she's about to vomit up another person and is holding it down.
Posted by: Brandon H | September 20, 2007 at 01:38 AM
I lurve you!
When I watched the show tonight I kept thinking, "That's what I love about high school girls. I get older and they stay the same age."
I saw a lot of comedy and very little fashion.
Posted by: Jen | September 20, 2007 at 08:36 AM
spontaneous
Posted by: Micklets | September 20, 2007 at 10:39 AM
most hilarious thing ever. love it.
Posted by: Maeve | September 20, 2007 at 10:47 AM
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The Tyra gifs are fantastic and are a great way to start the day.
It's the heartiest laugh I've had in months.
Rich, you're a genius.
Posted by: Shanghaishrimpo | September 20, 2007 at 10:55 AM
This has to be must fave post yet ... you are a genius!!!
Posted by: Sandra | September 20, 2007 at 11:14 AM
OY, can you hear it? The noises coming from all those clips would make a dog howl! As far as the new crop goes, I think Mila's going to make my head esplode.
Posted by: GingerMartini | September 20, 2007 at 11:48 AM
Ha Haaaah. Tyra was born to be an animated gif. That's awesome.
Posted by: Miss Lisa | September 20, 2007 at 12:16 PM
No, Micklet, it's Spontaniouse. That's actually how the girl on ANTM - or actually her parents - spelled it! I was so bummed that she didn't make it!
Posted by: DA | September 20, 2007 at 12:45 PM
Oh this made my week! My favorite is last one in the second row, for some reason I look at that one and think she might be making a sound like "farf,farf,farf,farf." which is similar sounding to the elderly pug in my neighborhood when he barks.
Posted by: Brandy | September 20, 2007 at 01:52 PM
do you mind if i use one of your gifs someday?
Posted by: jessica | September 20, 2007 at 03:57 PM
Funniest thing I've seen in a long time!!
What about that Tyra gif from last cycle, when she was in that hilarious kangaroo costume?
That deserves some recognition as well.
Posted by: Lolo | September 20, 2007 at 04:00 PM
Bwahhh ha ha ha haaa!
I'm at work, I'm shaking with silent laughter, I just snorted Diet Pepsi out through my nose, and the woman who sits next to me (we're friends, thankfully) is looking...well...the way I look at Tyra in these gifs. Sort of a combination of amused, appalled, shocked, inquistive, and terrified...
I love/hate/love you. This made my day!
A few things that will never, EVER get old:
- The gif of Whitney "blubbering". That was a divine gif(t) from the heavens...and there are just no words...
- Natasha. I will forever miss and love her, because there's not a chance in HELL that we'll ever get another one who's nearly as entertaining as she was every week.
- Tyra's insane ability to contort her face as if it were made of silly-putty or play-doh. Seriously. People can talk shit about her all they want...but you know that botox has never come anywhere near that woman's face! (The one that is top/center is my absolute favorite, btw.)
Posted by: Nick | September 20, 2007 at 04:20 PM
Wow, god, that's too much tyra. Conniption fit inducing. I had to scroll up and watch the "quizat haderach" kid over and over as a brain cleanser. Ah, better now.
Posted by: heyhey | September 20, 2007 at 04:22 PM
OK,all those Tyra .gifs were too Fanstasia (Disney, not Barrino)-like for me. FREAKY!
And I was going to be so sad about your non-Tyra moments until I saw that you included a scene from my most favorite ANTM moment, ever: Jade and the infamous, "Hey girl!" I knew you wouldn't forget!!!!!!!!! :)
Posted by: Monica C. | September 20, 2007 at 04:30 PM
All I have to say is: That. Was. So. Awesome. All my favorite moments and favorite scary Tyra faces in one place!
Posted by: Sarah | September 20, 2007 at 05:18 PM
this is like one giant antm/tyra orgasm. omg AMAZING. you are my favorite person in the world. and i cannot wait for you to talk about a girl named SPONTANIOUSE.
Posted by: kylie | September 20, 2007 at 08:28 PM
OH lord. It done be ANTM time yet again! woot!
Thank you for posting all the GIFs. Tyra is the new Carrot Top.
Posted by: Sanity,Interrupted... | September 20, 2007 at 10:59 PM
Wait a minute... hold the phone... the animated gif of Danielle (Dani) damn near falling off the runway in them high heels did NOT make your montage????? I may just have to take this blog off of my favorites.
Posted by: Erin | September 21, 2007 at 12:35 PM