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I LOVE BIANCA TOO. Everybody who hate sher does not recognize BRILLIANCE.



Bless you for these recaps. Mondays aren't so bad when it's ANTM time.


I love Heather, and Victoria. I think they're both beautiful, and Victoria is very self-possessed and doesn't feel the need to scream and yell to feel better about herself.

I also love that she told Twiggy to shove it, because I hate that they try and box everyone into categories based on the hour a week they see them. Insecure? Bitch walked into the photoshoot and threw her leg up on the vanity. Just because she's quiet doesn't mean she hates herself.


Oh I love your posts so much.

It will be interesting to see if any of the girls who quits smoking gains weight...
or if their difficulty quitting becomes a plot point...

Hmm. And is Tyra aloud to make them all eat Vegan as well? America's Next Top Survivor?


Have you watched "King of Kong" yet? It is seriously awesome. The reason I bring it up is that Chantal seriously reminds me of Billy Mitchell.

If you haven't seen it, you must!


During Bianca's shoot all I could notice was her resemblance to Tisha Campbell-Martin. She turned around and I was like, "Gina, is that you?" I half expected her to break out in song, Rags to Riches style.


Oh Rich, I love your recaps. I really do. You pretty much nail everything right on the head. I also read your Rock of Love recaps, too. Can't wait for the Project Runway ones as well. I promise I'll never complain about having to wait until Monday for a recap!

I love the not amused Victoria. I can identify with her because I'm currently studying abroad and my roommates are all dumb as rocks (example: one thought 1000 years ago was "19... something" and another thought Jesus was alive then, too). I make that face a lot.


I love how Bianca thinks that Lisa isn't classy enough for Top Model, but somehow can't pronounce the name of the show. "You really think America nex'top model go'be a strippa?" I don't know who it will be, but I'm sure she'll be able to pronounce the 's' in "America's."


"Mmmm. Juicy ass burgers."
That's hot.

This is one of the best recaps EVER! And so early in the game! Bravo...

Between Mila's "cancer" campaign and the repeated exploitation of Victoria's downer-Debbie-esque personality...I don't know which I laughed at more!

I've gotta say that I sort of like Victoria though. She's a snob and a prude...but she's showing me that even girls with flat faces (ala some sort of caucasian Sandra Oh) can be pretty if shot from the right angles.


too wonderful that you used fraggle rock. my favourite show. :)


Wow you're kind of getting more and more obnoxious. Please stop hating on Lisa 'cause please believe she will top Bianca. And the cancer jokes? Ouch. What wounds are you nursing?

Steve Abramson

Well Rich I'll probably be the 1,000th person to request having your gay babies (that is if our boyfriends would allow such a request), but THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting that Twiggy mp3 on your blog today... What a fabulous birthday present (38 and counting - UGH! LOL) - now I can annoy the entire household with Twiggy's sound on my iTunes...

I am rather surprised you didn't take a more opinionated stance on the anti-smoking thing since you, yourself, once was a smoker. The entire episode wanted to make me light up (NOT light down) and when she said that in panel... it's a good thing I wasn't there, cause lord knows I would've gone Tiffany/Tyra on her ass... something along the lines of "BITCH... if you don't want the audience to admire us smoking - DON'T FUCKING SHOW IT!!!" - God, Tyra... you've blurred it out in the past, is it THAT important... it's their (our) lungs to do with as we please! - Besides, nothing like quitting smoking in a very calm, relaxing, NON-stressful environment like a televised sorority... 'er - modeling competition... whatev' (I don't need the 'er like Melrose doesn't need the "issa"

One last note... I do agree with your stance on poking fun at anyone who's stupid enough to be on this show... but I am quite pleased (for lack of a better word) with your commentary (or rather lack of "biting" ones) on Heather. She is an inspiration, I personally think, although like many others, don't see how she could actually be a model. I'm rooting for her for the win (along with talking back Victoria and not-nuded-stripper/slash/slipper Lisa - great gif b.t.w.) and just hope that Heather's confidence will grow to the point of being an actual threat in the competition...

You rule!!!

Now we just have to figure out which one of us gets to spend 9 months carrying the gay baby - but I digress ;p



I am starting to like Victoria!

Miss Lisa

Hey--they left out some more side-effects of smoking! deadened taste buds; smelly; tarry lungs (do some "invisible woman" make-up--that would have been cool!); mooching; chilly (standing outside a doorway in winter is shivery). I guess I can't top "face tumor" and "burn victim." Good going, ANTM. And thanks for losing the Hummer limo this season. Side effects of air pollution include reduced ozone, increased asthma in children, and dependency on middle-eastern oil. Rich, you got the green background for "Alive with..." just right.


Mila reminded me of Hatchetface from Crybaby. Without th bozo wig.


My brother has Asperger's and we also pronounce it like Heather does. I mean, really, Assburgers doesn't sound too serious (more like an unfortunate nickname). So, yeah, people with it usually use the "ahspergers" pronunciation, while medical and scientist people use the Assburgers pronunciation. A tiny bit of humiliation is spared!

On another note, I regret that Mila didn't have a blowjobface moment. She really does look like a blow-up doll, so it would have been awesome.

I'm just sayin'...

That gross girl looked like a glass of milk -- finally, a 'first elimination' I can agree with!


Can we not remove Twiggy and sub in Anna Wintour instead??? Can't wait until the lack of nicotine turns into mean and subsequent extra pounds. Amen Tyra. Amen.


The way Chantal looks bothers the heck out of me, it's not just the lopsided eyes, its also how her neck is twice the size of her head, I cant stand looking at her.

trick please

Hey Rich,

thanks for the recap. I usually don't like the bitch but i lurve me some Bianca; for now anyway. This recap was loaded: Fraggles , drooping eyes, Jody Watley, a weird cancer ad "yes I can..cer". I love it. I'm still not liking Ebony, nor do I get what is so gorgeous about Heather. Heather's ok though.


Claude: I see her now (just saw her Saturday). I may have seen her before this cycle started, but didn't notice her. I don't think that bodes well for how far she goes in the competition, but you never know. I hope for the best for her because she is so much more interesting (and pretty) than most of these girls.


OMG...I totally thought that picture of the tracheotomy was a eyes hurt.

Love ya, Rich.

House of Bitchy-Bitches, ROCKS!!!!


Awesome recap as per usual. I was really annoyed with the Old Navy stuff. There is already enough product placement on this show. Special K anyone? Totally on Team Heather even with her Ahs-Bergers. Bianca is going to be a supreme bitch & I will love every minute of it!!!


Buck fangs - hilarious.


Looove seeing Benny Ninja this week, especially since I last saw him work miracals on Tim Gunn's Guide To Style about 3 weeks ago. Tim couldn't get over Benny, LOVERS? I swear Ninja/Rich for Prez '08

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