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akasha

I wouldn't read too much into spotting Heather. I heard that most girls, even the ones who get to the end, have to go back to their old lives until the show is finished so that they don't give the winner away.

Great recap, Rich, although I wish you hadn't included a close-up of Chantal's tracheotomy make-up - that shit is still freaking me out! I am sad that you are on team Bianca, since I'm on team Lisa, but whatever, I embrace our differences and so on...

I actually think the smoking ban is a good idea. Of course, the girls should've been told from the start, but something that drama-free would never happen on this show. However, I WILL be mad if it just turns out to be a gimmick for this cycle. If I see girls allowed to light-up again next cycle, I will be mega-pissed.

winterwheat

Oh god, ROFL at the pics of Mila. Poor girl got punished for calling it like it is... that makeup job made her look like Divine with rabies. I loved her for laughing so openly at the ridiculousness of it all. Oh--and I'm glad you set the record straight with Asperger's. No doubt, Asperger himself would have pronounced it Ahsperger's (actually, it was named after him after he died, I believe), but the common pronunciation is Ass-burger's, which is so much more evocative, don't you think?

gebba

I agree, people who actually have the disorder say "ahs-bergers", but I think I've heard "Assbergers" in class somewhere. I'd trust the one who has it, anyway.
When I was watching the show, the mean-ness of the girls about Heather sounded so horrible, I never really thought about editing. Still, I hate that cop-out style that some people use, where you say one nice thing and then a "but". "I understand she has that disorder, but... [insult]." or "She's pretty and all, but [insult]." I hear people do it all the time about other things and it really bothers me.
Oh and how messed up was it that Miss Jay tells them "simple simple simple" then B. Ninja says "more! More jewelry! More layers!" and then panel slams them for wearing it? More importantly, why am I still surprised?

JaneGoodallofSkeaze

This season looks to be even more disgustingly fem-abusive than the last. And I'll be loving every single moment of it. Go little role models. Work it!

btw - I never would have watched that Rock of Love crap if you hadn't blogged it. Which means I would have missed out on all that life-affirming goodness. I owe ya one.

Sophie B

Your recaps are so amazing.
As someone mentioned in an earlier comment, I don't even feel like I've watched a full episode until I read the recap - they complete the show. Seriously.

christina

that face tumor? totally looked like a vajayjay.

Fake Janice Combs

Rich I swear you make me laugh till I cry every Monday....I never want the post to end.

Vanessa

Damn it Rich. I sat there watching Bianca go from fun bitch (if indeed she was ever there and I am dubious) to bitch bitch faster than Heather left the Rock of Love house (little plug for your day job. I canNOT wait for that recap either.) And as I watched, I thought Rich better not be digging on this bitch while all along in my sinking heart I knew you would. Sadness but not unexpected.

Exactly how is a shoot on the evils of smoking controversial? What's next? A shoot about the dangers of not getting vaccinated?

Emily

Such a good recap. You rock. :)

nidra

Dude. Beautiful. The Bianca-as-Boober shit was so damn funny, I think I busted a blood vessel in my brain. Thanks!

And I feel sorry for Heather. She has a serious disability. These skanktestants don't. Yes, they do, Carlos. It's called stupidity.

frozenbeneath

you forgot this:

jay with fro = ambreal.

Elena

When I was watching the final two and saw the snot trickle I prayed that you would point it out.

I laughed so hard at the Boober tangent that I cried.

This was the perfect end to my Monday :D.

Danke!

aullando

I am shocked there was no Mila/Jocelyn Wildenstein side-by-side. Was it just too easy?

Paddy

Twiggy screaming "Niiigel!" sounded awfully like Liz Taylor screeching "Marrriiage???"

Julia

Jenah looks to be straight out of The Witches. Do you see it??

Ross

hah! great recap as always. my points: twiggy needs to shut the fuck up FOR GOOD. (i say this ALMOST every time she opens her dumbass mouth, inadvertently causing my girlfriends to get mad and tell me to shut up)

i was waiting to see tyra's face plastered all over the other side of the greenhouse bus..shocking that it wasn't.

could kimberly be any more insensitive? GOD.

victoria is the new kahlen/nicole (linkletter)(why can't we all get along!(cries)

i can't wait to see the claws come out in the bianca vs. lisa deathmatch.

oh one last thing..MAKE-UP STAFF NEEDS TO BE STRAIGHT UP FIRED! this has got to be the worst makeup/sfx i have EVER seen. get it together tyra. you said it yourself once..that whole anchal/stedman fiasco was the first sign of trouble.

JenJen

Boo hiss! Bianca is a hagbone! And that Tyra. My husband called her shame out years ago. I was blinded then, by what I don't know. Her huge white teeth maybe? She is about as real as Velveeta. I'm starting to get a twitch in my eye every time I here her voice. Kinda like the Mary Heart seizures.

Holy poo Zan. Rags to Riches! I didn't think anyone remembered that show. I love-ed that show!! Along with Fragle Rock of course.

My sister has one of those kids that is wakadooy, a lot of which she is responsible for. Anyway, one time during the yearly update on his mental health she said to my husband that his Dr. thought he could have Aspergers. My husband laughed, audibly. That's why I love him. He hears a funny word and he laughs. That was the first time we had heard of it, but my cousin who does actually does have it pronounces it ass-burgers. Juicy.....

Cheers and go Team Heather!!!

Yubi

i have never laughed out loud when reading something online....but this

"Bianca is the hood rat to Fantasia's country mouse."

did it for me. Thanks for popping my LOL cherry.

duane

"cancer, a bareback orgy for your cells."

Rich, you outdo yourself every time!

And I must say, I LOVE Victoria. She is beautiful!

Maya

I am listening to NPR, and they are talking about ausbergers syndrome. Both Diane Rehms and the specialist are pronouncing it ASS-burgers (which is hilarious if you know what diane rehms sounds like). All i can picture is your ass-burger.

summer

you already know my love for all things benny ninja. (strangely, i keep calling him benny medina in conversation.) also got to see on Tim Gunn -- his title there was runway expert. what a "jack-of-all..."!

also, loved your commentary about going green "this season" and only as it benefits the show and ratings. she probably already knew she'd have the "no smoking" policy, so why not choose only non-smoking models or tell them ahead of time?? Cause that would be half-way right! Much more fun to have them cranky and overeating!

jezebelly

Claude and Jess: this was taped months ago. ALL of the contestants resume their normal lives until their elimination ep is shown.

jenner

Heather & Victoria = my faves, with lisa a close 3rd. I canNOT get into Bianca. She's not even evil bitchy like Renee was, she's just dumb bitchy.

As for Kinberley - "those people are clingy" etc etc. What an ass. What a GIGANTIC ass. I can't decide who I want eliminated next - Bianca or Kimberley?

PS - I damn neared DIED with the wonky eyed Chantal gif....still coughing...

Spicey

Bianca's a hood rat. Can't wait for her to get a fashion ass whoopin'

martha_dumptruck

Mila could not have resembled Divine from the end of Female Trouble more. I almost shrieked thinking Glenn had rolled from his grave.

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