I'm sure by now you've seen the video for ANTM 5 contestant Lisa D'Amato's song ("song") "Ace of Spades." It's part-fun, part-offensive in a lame-white-person-does-hip-hop kinda way (offensive not because of race matters but because it takes our collective sense of humor to be outdated. Like, we're still expected to laugh at that? Didn't that joke get old with "I'm Barney Rubble and I'm here to say / I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way..."?) and utterly insistent. Seriously, "Standing here with no fear," had been buzzing around my head like flies to a dirty diaper all week. Anyway, if you missed it here it is:
The reason I'm sure by now you've seen this is most likely you've sent me an email with the link to this that starts, "I'm sure by now you've seen this..." Thank you, all 500,000 of you! But for real: I appreciate such heads-ups.
And here's some more random stuff:
- Since, not unlike ANTM's Heather, I'm on a delay (incidentally, I'm also not unlike Rock of Love's Heather in that I like to pull my tits out at will), I'm just now getting to spreading the word that I took part in the Rockcritics Music Blogger Symposium that was posted last week. My homegirl Maura (of Idolator and herself), the illustrious Simon Reynolds, David Moore, Carl Wilson and I all answered questions about the state of the music blogosphere, if you will. I think I'm probably the least academic out of all of them, and I'm OK with that. Anyway, it's long but interesting especially if you like reading the word "blog" repeatedly.
- Here's my favorite paragraph of the week: "When it comes to free speech, we need to let a hundred flowers bloom. We need to chill. We need to stop being pussies." It's from Kurt Anderson's latest Imperial City column in New York. Those three sentences basically contain the point of my post-Imus rant from April, just, you know, succinctly.
- [Jaslene voice] This is my life... [/jv]
- I'm feeling the fuck of this song right now (and most of new Róisín Murphy album, for that matter). Also seriously obsessed with the Aeroplane Remix of Coyote's "Too Hard". That I'm completely digging a neo-disco track that veers so closely to MOR lite rock can only mean one thing: I'm getting old.
- I want to have two-minute monkey sex with Prince Harry's vodka-snorting partner.
Swoon. Seriously.
- Conversely, I do not want to have two-minute monkey sex with ANTM 8's Jael, who was spotted at this year's Burning Man Festival by John F., the boyfriend of the absolutely amazing April Winchell. He snapped pictures for me and all of you below. Enlarge with caution -- she's naked. And hula-hooping. And wearing Ugg boots. But then again: of course she is.
LoL @ jael. its sad that she got desperate enough to get naked in a last attempt to launch her modeling career. even from that angle though she does seem to have a decent rack.
Posted by: Vee Dizzle | October 10, 2007 at 05:01 PM
I would like to have monkey sex with Roisin Murphy.
Posted by: RD | October 10, 2007 at 05:27 PM
Yeah, the Ace of Spades song rather confused me at first. I totally thought she was saying "sitting in heeere with no beeeer", and all I could think was "nuh uh! she's a wino, not a beer-drinker!! ANTM said so!!"
Yeah. I guess the video/song was supposed to be a joke, or so her blog says.
Posted by: Kat | October 10, 2007 at 05:47 PM
This might be well-known, but, like the Lisa video, I hadn't seen it, so: http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20071003/michelle%20deighton/m1.html
Michelle from cycle ? is dating Johnny Fairplay, and is wearing... something really fugly.
Posted by: gebba | October 10, 2007 at 06:27 PM
omg... jael. you're right - it's a bit of shock, and then, "duh, of course."
Posted by: Julia | October 10, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Oh my god that video was pathetic and sad. Standing here with no beer?
That other song is much better.
Posted by: Susan | October 10, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Gotta love Lisa. She's like the new Sandra Bernhard, minus everything that made Sandra Bernhard interesting and important.
Speaking of April Winchell, the least that cow (I'm not being mean -- she does the voice of Clarabelle in Disney cartoons!) could do is put up some lacey pix of her hot beau instead of that nasty jackal Jael.
Posted by: JH | October 10, 2007 at 07:32 PM
OMG, my friends begged me to go to Burning Man this year! I can't believe I missed that. Although... that's probably a good thing. She's Blewish, I can't hang with that.
Posted by: Kitten | October 10, 2007 at 07:36 PM
Michelle's not only dating Johnny Fairplay, she's pregnant with his demon famewhore spawn.
Posted by: Megan | October 10, 2007 at 08:38 PM
Um wow Lisa just told me to lick her twat.
WWTS??? (What Would Tyra Say?)
Posted by: Maxam | October 10, 2007 at 09:07 PM
I promise I'm not ignoring all of the awesome contained in this post, but after watching tonight's episode of Top Model, I've come to the conclusion that post-makeover Saleisha is Rihanna.
http://www.ultimate-rihanna.com/gallery/albums/photoshoots/2007/henry-leutwyler/004.jpg
Right?
Posted by: allison | October 10, 2007 at 09:26 PM
...I don't know if that link actually worked, but here's another one for comparison.
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/events/CSH-023778.jpg
Posted by: allison | October 10, 2007 at 09:31 PM
About Lisa: bad dancer, bad boob job, and whoever dressed her should be shot like a dog in the street.
Posted by: Amy | October 10, 2007 at 09:51 PM
that roisin murphy song is like eating cupcakes after hot sex! it makes me want to stop being antisocial and go out to a club!
Posted by: izzy | October 10, 2007 at 10:32 PM
Omg Rich, you must write about the WORST MAKEOVERS for antm on monday. Saleisha looks like Tootie from The Facts of Life! http://personal.iddeo.es/mmoreira/images/braces/factsoflife2.jpg
Posted by: Vinita | October 10, 2007 at 10:52 PM
That may have been the worst video I have ever seen, even trumping "Ladies" by Sarai in the "white girls can't rap" category. Boo :(
Posted by: Jerome | October 10, 2007 at 11:21 PM
P.S. Where is Icy Blu when you need her?
Posted by: Jerome | October 10, 2007 at 11:24 PM
Or Tairrie B.?
Posted by: JH | October 11, 2007 at 12:03 AM
Wow I would say Sarah is the secret love child of Fergie and Liam/Kelly(OMG SHOES!)except I think the world would spontaneously combust if something like that ever happened.
Posted by: Rachel | October 11, 2007 at 12:04 AM
Prince Charles should make Harry undergo a DNA test and disown him. I swear I can't bear to see another pic of that douchebag.
Posted by: Gyn | October 11, 2007 at 01:01 AM
(Jaime Kennedy - humor) + (Fergie - vocal skills) *(post-ANTM animosity) = Lisa D' Amato
it's all in the math.
I think it's salvagable though.
Posted by: somedude | October 11, 2007 at 01:22 AM
Hmmm. Ace of Spades vs. Shake Ya' Body. Hmmm.
Posted by: EasterBuffy | October 11, 2007 at 01:27 AM
Showgirls II- Crystal Connors raps
Posted by: neurotj | October 11, 2007 at 01:49 AM
Oh, God, that picture of Tootie is SO FUNNY! Man, I loved that show.
But I disagree about Saleshia's makeover -- I love it. I think it makes her look even more like an anime character. Now she's perfect.
(Although it was a little cruel of Tyra to pick a style that puts Saleisha's hair all in her face and then criticize her because her eyes were hard to see in her photos. Cruel but funny!)
Re: Lisa. I can't. It's all been said already. After watching it, *I* want to go get drunk.
Posted by: nidra | October 11, 2007 at 04:29 AM
Oh my LORD here arms are so long! Seriously, stand up like she is and see if 1) your elbows reach all the way to your waist like her elbows do and if 2) your hands reach all the way behing your butt like her hands do. Granted my arms are on the stumpy side but she and I are probably about the same height and her arms would be at least four inches longer than mine. That's a huge difference!
Posted by: | October 11, 2007 at 05:32 AM