So, I finally saw Juno...

...and I'm astounded to report that I didn't hate it! I know I'm months late with this, but I figure it's still relevant, what with last week's Oscar nominations and the fact that it crossed the $100 million mark at the box office this weekend. Since I tend to avoid criticism before I experienced the criticized, and since I tend toward the obvious, what follows may have already been said. But fuck it, you know?

Before Juno can even crack open that giant bottle of Sunny D, her namesake movie has already announced itself as fantasy. A PG-13* flick about teen pregnancy means that what we're in for from the start is far too polite to be real. No one says, "Fuck." No one fucks. Moan about PG-13 all you want. Moan that this rating makes the movie too absurd to do anything but masturbate at you (showing nothing good, of course) for 96 minutes. But it's unfair to hold Juno's falseness against it, even if the film tends to do that to itself. I feel like there's this internal struggle for impossible realness, which leaves Juno exhibiting the masochism of, oh, say, a pregnant 16-year-old who stays in school as she carries her baby to full term.

Diablo Cody's over-written, over-praised script drips of the kind of indie-cool quirkiness that I loathe: if regular teenspeak is matter-of-factly punk, Cody's version of it is Hot Topic. While listening to Juno and company blather on with their "Honest to blog"s, "fave"s, "home-skillet"s and "junk"s, I couldn't help but wonder if the whole point was to create an entry in the Inventive-ish Teen Lexicon category of scripts a la Heathers or Clueless. After all, we haven't had one of those in a while. It smacks of the kind of effort that Juno would probably fancy herself too cool for. That so much of this pseudo-cleverness is delivered by the film's cast breathlessly, as though snappiness is as much a byproduct of their existence as carbon dioxide, makes it all the more difficult to swallow. These people don't ever stop to collect themselves? But again: this is a fantasy. If it weren't, I feel like there'd be at least a bit more slapping mixed in with all the purported wit.

As annoying and unfunny as a lot of that whiplash dialouge is, I don't have a huge problem with it -- fine, fine, Juno wants to assert its individuality. That may be unsophisticated, but certainly, I've been there. What really doesn't sit well with me, slang-wise, however, is the frequent appropriation of what more or less originated as urban slang that's more or less associated with black people -- "Hells yeah," "Shiz," "You's a dick," etc. I know, I know: hip-hop culture has long pervaded into the suburbs, and I have no room to criticize that kind of appropriation. I'm not mad at the cultural overlap; I'm mad that it's so brazenly handled in Juno. There's otherwise no indication of hip-hop culture in the film (I'm pretty sure there's, in fact, not a single black character). Juno's into '70s punk, Mark (Jason Bateman), the prospective adopter of her child, is into '90s alternative, and Jason Reitman is seemingly into twee indie-pop of the past 10 years because it's ALL. YOU. FUCKING. HEAR. EVERYWHERE IN THIS MOVIE. A Prussian Blue tune is about the only thing that could make the music whiter. I know that the presence of Kimya Dawson on the soundtrack throws a wrench into the all-white-always thing, since she's...uh, multi-racial, I believe, but clearly what she does has nothing to do with hip-hop, either. The general tone just seems like: we're pillaging what we perceive to be black culture not out of any admiration, but just because, haha, we're white and it's funny when we talk black. It's just really gross to me, and I'm not even sure what the point of it all was. Was it to accurately reflect the habits of white kids in the suburbs? Doesn't the cliché follow that those who talk the talk also listen to the source material? And if they don't, why are we supposed to find them endearing instead of despicable? I'm sorry to be Whitey McDown here, but it just all seems so cluelessly disrespectful.

(And while we're on the topic of music, if Juno's slang became like nails on a chalkboard, the nonstop indie-tweeness was like nails puncturing my eardrums. Oh my god, it was fucking hell.)

As racial ickiness was a thread throughout the film, so was Juno's smart-assiness. She's such a know-it-all, with her machine gun tongue that shoots out quips, that I delight in finding her wrong. I can't be the first person to point out that Juno was not, in fact, Zeus' wife, as claimed in the film, but Jupiter's -- Zeus is Greek (his wife was Hera); Juno and Jupiter are Roman. How could someone who's sharp enough to reference Seabiscuit not know the origin of her own name?

(Oh, and neither the The Wizard of Gore nor Suspiria are slasher movies, as also claimed by Juno. The lesson? If you want to act like a cool kid, you need to study like a geek.)

I know that my set-up here aims to praise the film, and I've just spent the last howevermanyhundred words tearing it down. Really, a lot of the bad about Juno didn't really get in the way from it charming me. Ellen Page has yet to prove that she can do anything but turn broad characters into total cartoons, and yet, she exhibits a sweetness that makes her witticisms at least slightly more palatable. She has, at least, entirely made up for Hard Candy in my eyes, which is no easy task considering that I was ready to hold that travesty against her forever. Cody's script, similarly, might float on an eye-rollingly corny lexicon, but it does have a knack for finding comedy by manipulating the obvious (for example, early on, Juno says she's considering getting an abortion at a clinic called Women Now "'cause they help out women now"). Mostly, I love that for all of its flash and trash, Juno really isn't too cool for school. The most sympathetic characters, Paulie (Michael Cera) and Vanessa (Jennifer Garner), don't talk like they just came from screen-writing class. Juno praises Paulie for his effortless coolness (hopefully, in doing so, she realizes that she could learn a thing or two from him), and Vanessa gets nothing but respect from Juno, despite the fact that she's an uptight and barren shrew. A lesser movie would have mocked Vanessa's bourgieness, or made an ass out of her for being so square. Juno lets her be what she feels she was made to be: a mom. And when she finally has that baby, her baby, in her arms, the movie stops being about Juno entirely. It's only temporary, but it's still much, much more mature than I was willing to give the film credit for. Enduring everything annoying about Juno made the ultimate surprise so much sweeter.

* And yeah, I'm fucking obsessed with PG-13, because I really think that it's the hinge of the film industry. If I were in grad school studying film, it'd provide the basis of my thesis. But since I'm not, you suffer. Sorry!

Comments

[EasterBuffy]

I have none of the concerns expressed here with the film. Jason Reitman has his own little rapid patter film world carved out for himself, so why change now? My beef with the film was that the subject of teenage pregnancy was so glibly handled. So many things can go wrong when the birth mother is under 20 and none of these issues were addressed. I won't go into the gruesome list of details (fistula, death, etc.) that can happen even in the developed world, but now I wonder how many not so bright, smart-ass teenage girls are going to think it's okay to get pregnant because in the end, your boyfriend who knocked you up will stand by you, you'll be okay to have other children later and some cool, rich woman will adopt your kid.

Yeah, and even though I'm too old to identify the soundtrack as twee indie rock, it bothered the crap out of me as well. Hire a goddamn composer next time and stop relying on pop music to convey your subtext!

Looking forward to your ANTM posts.

[Katie]

My Chinese immigrant mom and dad came home from the movie mostly pleased, but a little bit annoyed by the "ALL BABIES WANT TO GET BORNED" scene. They have worked hard to make sure that my brother and I speak English well (and Chinese semi-decently), and that sort of stuff hurts their feelings.

[Bapril]

As the mother of a bi-racial son, I have a tendency to notice when "black" slang is used by us white folks and it happens all the time. For example: I recently heard Matt Lauer use the term "24-7" on The Today Show...and could anyone BE more white than Matt? I think not.

[Amber]

I have taught high school English in a rural school with a 4% other ethnicities to a 96% caucasian ratio for 12 years, and the smart-ass dialogue and urban slang greatly reflect the language patterns of the teens I teach.

[woneffe]

The dialog just killed me. I hated the movie. When they were in science class I just finally blurted out, I HATE THIS MOVIE! I was feeling the comparison with movies like Heathers, but one, Heathers was fantasy, and I *think* Juno was trying not to be (or maybe it was and I missed it), and two, I watched Heathers when I was in middle school and I talked like that, and it wasn't being praised by 40 years and nominated for Oscars (was it?).

Juno strikes me as a cute/clever movie for this generation's tweens/teens a la Heathers, but the hype has gotten way out of control.

Perhaps if their weren't so much praise for it from all over, I would have watched it and thought, 'eh, that's cute' instead of wanting to kill it.

[woneffe]

...wasn't being praised by people in their 40's...

That's what I meant.

[Jesse]

Wait. "24-7" is black slang??

[Ian]

I really enjoyed it when I saw it, but then as time wore on it also started to irritate me... I think because I saw it when it first came out so pre-hype which as dampened it a bit for me. But you've put your finger on exactly why I liked it, then it annoyed me, but I still like it anyway.

[brendahamLincoln]

Hey, she totally said fuck!

"Ow ow fuckity ow!"

So theres...

Love ya, Rich!

[superlotado]

I have to agree that Rich is taking the so-called "urban slang" thing way too seriously. I honestly didn't even notice what he's talking about, and I don't particularly think of the examples cited as fitting that description. Fact of the matter is, that slang is common ground these days pretty much no matter what kind of environment kids grow up in or what kind of music they listen to. Other than that, I agree with this review entirely. So many things about this movie did grate on my nerves, and yet on the whole I liked it.

[superlotado]

Also: I could excuse a lot of Juno's irritating dialogue because it occurred to me that 16-year-olds really DO have a tendency to try too hard to sound cool. I winced hearing it, but I know if I'm being honest I probably did the same thing at her age. What I couldn't excuse was the screenwriter putting that same voice into every character's mouth.

[MDP]

Two words: Whitey McDown.

[Christy]

I totally agree with the overall sentiment of this review. It's almost as if the trying-too-hard-iness of the beginning, especially with the slang and music, made it that much more rewarding when the story finally won me over by the end.

I DO think that white teens use hip-hop slang whether or not they listen to hip-hop music. I did notice the presence of hip-hop slang mixed in with the rest of the slang, and it was one of the things that felt most authentic about it, actually. Yes, it's obnoxious, but again, it added to the overall obnoxiousness that was so forgiven by the time I saw the baby in Vanessa's arms.

Also, I thought Alison Janney was awesome.

[classical historian geek]

Well, really though, Jupiter and Zeus are the same dude in different languages, as are Juno and Hera. So you're right, it's not technically correct to say that Juno was Zeus's wife. But it's hardly her not knowing the origin of her own name.

[bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

Rich, Did you ever see the documentary This Film is Not Yet Rated? I bet, given your disdain (and mine) with PG-13, that you'd love seeing it, while at the same time hate seeing it, because it exposes the rating system in general for the sack of ass that it is.

I haven't seen Juno yet, but it's on my list, swear to blog.

Jules
House of Jules

[Lisa]

I agree with Jesse... When did "24-7" become "black slang"??

I hear plenty of us Whiteys say that all the time.

[phil]

I am totally feeling what you're saying about Juno.
I have to say that I left wanting to complain about a lot of the things you mentioned above, but in the end I was too charmed by it to hold any of that against it.
I would say Juno is that guy who you know is a douche, but he's so damn charming you like him anyway.

[Sally]

The ultrasound technician appeared to be South Asian.

[Ben]

Hey rich, never commented here before, but I've been reading this for a while...I haven't seen this movie yet, but what you were saying about the use of black slang in the movie sort of interested me, simply because I'm a white high school kid in the suburbs, similar to what I'm assuming the character of Juno to be. The school I go to is about 60% black, 40% white, and so most of the white kids use a lot of "hip-hop" language. I would be saying this to defend the movie's use of this kind of thing, but seeing as you say there aren't even any black characters in the whole damn film, I'm a bit skeptical. I guess it can be written off as an aspect of pop culture that is basically ingrained in the lives of anyone growing up today; i.e. the omnipresence of rap and hip hop icons in today's society. What you were saying about the "we're pillaging what we perceive to be black culture not out of any admiration, but just because, haha, we're white and it's funny when we talk black" mentality is spot-on, though. That's exactly the way everyone I know uses it, and it's not really that great. I'm not sure if anyone else has been saying any of this stuff, but yea, that's just my personal take on it.

Sorry to sound so obnoxious there. Anyway...

[The Over-Thinker]

Being from the near the area where Juno takes place, I can tell you that there are even more errors than the one's you called out. That being said, I still liked the movie. Will not be purchasing the soundtrack.

Maybe I'm coming late-to-the-dance, but is that Brittany from ANTM in the Cerebral Itch ad??

[Kb]

Kimya Dawson isn't white...she has a lot of songs on the soundtrack. But yes, I agree with you in general on this movie.

[lori]

I'm really glad you said that part about Zeus was Greek and Juno is Roman because I noticed that right away.

[zoe]

a.) I'm from white-middle-class-land in Pennsylvania and I know people whose slang is (more or less) much like Juno's racial ickiness. There are a few black kids at my school but they're all friends with white kids and they all do the "hells yeah" and "shiz" thing. I know Juno spewed wit the way that real people simply do not, but the slang was largely realistic for me. Then again, I'm 17.
b.) Indie-tweeness was inexcusable, I agree.
c.) Juno was supposed to be unbearable and immature. I found that her flaws and problems were written very deliberately. The people who OMG LOL at every one of her quips are obviously misinterpreting the film, and the people who get mad at the OMG LOLers for not noticing the EGREGIOUS WRONGNESS OF THE SCRIPT!!! are taking the characters way too seriously and allowing details to interfere with storytelling.
d.) Kimya Dawson sucks.

[archipelagic]

I was under the impression that Zeus=Jupiter and Hera=Juno, but Hera is the Greek name and Juno is the Roman name. So yeah, what a couple people may have said already, though it is weird that she's mixing the languages in her pairings. Anyway, I'm glad you articulated a lot of the objections I had with this movie, but couldn't explain. The constant obvious attempts at quirkiness, the really insider indie cool, and the dialogue at times really got to me. I kind of like '90s twee indie-pop, but if you're trying to be so fresh and hipsterish, it's a little misguided. Whenever I tell people what I think about this movie, I end up bitching for a really long time, then concluding with, "But I kind of liked it, I guess."

[archipelagic]

Ooh, to Katie re: the "ALL BABIES WANT TO GET BORNED" thing.

That bugged me too. I think the girl was supposed to be Korean, but what bothered me about it was that she spoke completely perfect English otherwise. Either she was supposed to be retarded, or it's kind of racist. I'm pretty sensitive about people making fun of others' English, though, because I teach English in Japan. I know English is really, really hard, and I listen to and try to understand people who make tons of language mistakes, and I never judge them. However, that girl was not in the process of language-learning, and it just seemed like a cheap joke.