Christina and the lost art of subtlety

I feel like this sort of thing has kind of become my beat, so I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that travesty of a Christina Aguilera concert that aired last weekend on VH1. I've never been a huge fan of the girl, but this show pretty much sucked out any reluctant admiration I had for her and her innate singing ability. Her insincerity and inability to interpret the broadest of emotions have never been more apparent. She is the girl who never knew nuance. When it comes to vocal delivery, it's all one static, constipated line from her and, apparently, this problem is only exacerbated in a live setting. Perhaps she was preparing for childbirth as the only real discernible emotion is that of bearing down.

I've complained about all this before and I'll continue to complain about it because it's a tragedy: she has a wondrous set of pipes that are just being used for ugly most of the time. With all the guttural strain that she emotes, I wonder if she isn't somehow ruining her voice. At the very least, it seems unlikely that she'll forever be able to attack her stuff with this gusto. Tragedy begets tragedy.

To illustrate my point, I collected her major vocal runs and edited them together, more or less in order of intensity. The video below isn't nearly as fun as the Beyoncé or Céline (or even Justin) ones. This one works better as a statement than as entertainment (that is to say it is not in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Viral Video). For many, above everything else, the four minutes below will be an endurance test. Can you hang? I mean really huh-ah-uh-ang-uh-ang-uh-angggggggggg?

Comments

[m]

I can't hang.

I mean:

I caaaaiiiiiinttt a-woawoa haaaaaaaaiiiii po woo woo alaaaangaka-kalang. Neeee...Yessuh

[Steven.]

Sadly, I emulate her style of singing, although I don't particularly care for her freakishly large breasts with nipples that hide beneath her armpits.

[bigpikchur.blogspot.com]

You didn't even mention her circa-1986 Whitney Houston tapping of the microphone with her middle and ring fingers!
Yeah yeah, ooohhh yeah yeah yeah oh alright yah!
Jules
House of Jules

[G.]

Oh, my. I only haaa-uh-aaa-uh-aaang-eed the 4 minutes because you dared us to! Since she always sings (screams) the same way, this video sounded like... well... 4 minutes of the same (painful) song, with many costumes changes. Anyone else noticed how she always raises her right arm at the same time? Must be some kind of tic :P

Well, this video sure proved your point, Rich. I have to agree: subtlety is not her forte. But imagine the sounds that came out of her when she gave birth! ;)

[David]

I made it to one minutes, seven seconds. That's enough.

[racheee]

Jesus she does have a great set of pipes but the way she uses them makes me want to throw myself out a windeeeeeoooowwweeeeeooooowwwwwyeaaaaahhhhhh!

Less power, more substance!

I love you Richhhheeeeeoooooowwwweeeeeoooowweeeeoooow!

[Diva Delux]

OMG!

After 1:25 i was already starting to get a soar throat and a headache

but i hung in Rich, just for you

how that girl is not destroying her voice is beyond me

but it really just bums me out, she has such an amazing voice... i wish she making better music

[Greg]

I love Christina but this concert was so boring I spend the whole hour waiting for something exciting to happen and her voice/singing was just horrible

[Diva Delux]

OMG!

After 1:25 i was already starting to get a sore throat and a headache

but i hung in Rich, just for you

how that girl is not destroying her voice is beyond me

but it really just bums me out, she has such an amazing voice... i just wish she was making better music

[Christina]

Heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy Rich!! I did the full four minutes and I think I now have laryngitis through osmosis. I need a lozenge.

[Pete]

AAAAAMMMEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Add to the fact that you can NEVER understand anything she sings. I dare someone to actually know all the lyrics to Ain't No Other Man. In fact, I dare soemone to know ANY of the lyrics to Ain't No Other Man...or Who Ate All The Ham..or whatever it is called

[the maljax]

For some reason I really want to see her do "Tear Me Down" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe it was the hair...

[Henry Evil]

You weren't kidding about that being an endurance test.

[Daniel]

What's the name of the movie in your banner? I've been dying to see it and I forgot the name. It's that French one, right?

[HoBuster]

Rich, you are correct in surmising that poor Xtina is grinding her vocal chords to a pulp with this histrionic style of singing. The shame is that her voice is a rare gift, powerful, flexible, and expressive (e.g. Hurt), and much of the time she's just pushing too hard for cheap pyrotechnics.

It's amazing that she can do it at all and I have no doubt she couldn't speak after that performance. Only her youth and stamina will allow this for much longer. Unless she dials it back and/or paces herself, eventually, she will end up with the same low, breathy husk of a voice Etta James has from years of screaming like a barge whistle. There are few singers who can grind on their chords like this for decades and take no damage (Tina Turner, Patti Labellle) but Xtina is not in that class, though it's clear she believes she is.

On a different note: what's up with that hideous stringy polyester weave? Synthetic hair is lighter and more durable for stage wear, but she should upgrade the quality and go the Tyra/Beyonce' route with a full head lace wig so that there's not the unattractive contrast with her 'natural' hair.

[Leanne]

Didn't the two women who played Effie in Dreamgirls (Jennifer Holiday and the other one) do this same one-note hold when they were dueling on BET a few weeks back?
All the female singers do this on Apollo Amateur night too. It's like girls think that to have a great singing voice you have to hold one word for two hours and then scat it for three.

[Lauren]

What killed me was the way she bellowed "Thank YOU!" all the time. She used a completely fake, over-the-top voice even when thanking the audience! Ugh.

[lengli]

I didn't even make it to the halfway point, and I'm of the mind that all those high notes can't be particularly good for a fetus.

[jtalia]

i was waiting for her to do a jennifer holliday gasp of air

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OZvVXsoiRmU (4:00)

i need another vlog where you are seen and heard... staaaaaaaat!

[Jess]

This is what I'm going to hear as I die, I just know it.

I love you Auuustraaallliiyuuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuh!!

[gebba]

I don't know, I love her voice, even if its always at that level. And I don't have a problem with the (what do you call it? Warblings or something?) the ups and downs she does in the middle of words. Yes, it would be really beautiful if she would tone it down and use some subtlety, then bust out the big voice for the important parts, but I think that clip was fine! I listened to the whole thing, and wanted to start dancing to it! I also don't think she's insincere, but maybe you meant in her singing.
*sigh*. Why do I always disagree with your music reviews, Rich? I hate the people you love, and you hate the people I love! We'll always have ANTM I guess.

[ehbenoit]

it is unlikely that she is hurting her voice, unless she is performing incorrectly. which i actually do not believe that she is. it is all about diaphragm stamina. hoooooowwwwehhehhhehhhhehhhhhverrrrrrr, the girl really needs to dial it down a notch with the pyrotechnics. it is technique over substance, which tires listeners really quickly, just ask michael bolton. she always cites aretha, billie, sarah, etc. as heroes, yet rarely exhibits their restraint. sad really.

[BlackRaspberry]

it's the first rule of public speaking (and by extension singing): if everything is emphasized, then NOTHING is emphasized.

i couldn't agree with you more about Christina. it's such a waste of a great voice; her insistence on singing everything full-voiced and melismatic makes it seem as though she doesn't mean a word she's saying. it's boring.

[Amber]

i could only last until 1:05. i tried, i swear i did.

[SJ]

PING! Just saw you on ONTD. Yeah baby.

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/19955524.html