Drug formula

Whatever drugs Mariah Carey’s taking are doing wonders for her music. Actually, what am I saying, “whatever drugs”? It’s obvious that she’s on the pot, or that she wants you to think she is – an inhaled “sssssss” kicks off the best song, “I’m That Chick,” on her best album, E=MC². And then: “Ooh wee!" is repeated enough to make this slow-burning disco come off like the shadier cousin of Rick James’ “Mary Jane.” Weed imagery dominates her boasts (“Boy I got you caught up inside of my haze,” “You’re fiendin’ to blaze up and taste me,” “You ain’t seeing things or hallucinating,” “Pull me in and breathe,” “I’m like that uptown haze them real thugs blaze / We’ll touch the sky…”), as though delusion is her artistic medium

And, duh: of course she’s high. I can’t imagine anything but marijuana driving her to the destination of this album’s title, which, in long form stands for Emancipation = Mariah Carey (squared). That sort of nonsense-logic is the thing of tokers and children, and image-wise, Mariah is both. (And seriously, even when you spell it all out, what the fuck does “Emancipation = Mariah Carey (squared)” even mean? Is that, like, a two-second review of The Emancipation of Mimi? Is it her coy way of simultaneously announcing that this album is its sequel and that she doesn’t understand exponents? And if so, she so high that she thinks her “2” needs to be up there with her?) Whatever, though, tracks like “Chick” and “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time” are sonic euphoria, career-highs that are so clean, you could snort off them.

And then, the paranoia sets in and it clings to this album like patchouli on Like a Prayer. I count no fewer than six rewrites of her relevance-reigniting megahit, “We Belong Together” (in sequential order: “I Stay in Love,” “Love Story,” “Last Kiss,” “Thanx 4 Nothin’,” “For the Record” and “Bye Bye”). These tracks, I assume, are intended to be hit insurance and as such, suggest that the memory of Glitter and the ensuing pop gutter hasn’t faded a bit. Between its pop hits, Emancipation flirted with a live, full-band feel; E=MC²'s motif, in total contrast, is the plastic boom-tick of the 808-ballad. Not that I'm complaining -- to rewrite "We Belong Together" is to rewrite "Breakdown," a track forward-thinking enough to still bear repeating.

The best of these fast slow jams is the Bryan Michael Cox co-produced “For the Record,” which skirts sounding like it’s stuck in the past via futuristic chimes, whooshes, thwacks and pseudo-strings. (Incidentally, Cox is also responsible for “I Stay in Love,” the most soulless song Mariah’s cut since, well, before Glitter. It sports a piano line so deliberate, it’d be laughed off a Broadway original cast album.) The commercial crassness of these retreads is perfectly encapsulated in “Bye Bye,” in which Stargate’s stock ballad beat fits under the “We Belong Together” template. Meanwhile, Mariah announces this song “is for everybody.” Not just all the parents and children of the world -- everybody! Take that, Celine! “Bye Bye” is about death, and only thing more universal than that topic is probably taxes (funnily enough, E=MC² was released on April 15). Initially, the obsequiousness of “Bye Bye” was too revolting even for me, but what keeps me coming back to it is its ultimate silliness. I snort at “This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers” every damn time I hear it, and the chorus litany of “Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins” sounds like the basis of a companion piece to the preschool standard, “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.” It’s supposed to make me cry, but “Bye Bye” makes me howl inside. It’s not so much like laughing in church as it is at the crazy lady ranting about abortion on the corner, shaking her plastic fetus.

From what I’ve gathered, those who hate this album, hate it for the lack of sophistication in its flagrant hit-mongering. But that’s like hating a Pollack for being too splattery. People forget that Mariah’s function has always been that of hitmaker. She’s worked hard for her numbers (18 No. 1's and she has the balloons to prove it). Until her 2001 breakdown, working hard meant averaging an album a year and rerecording virtually every single for various remixes. She's lessened the pace, but the wheels upstairs turn just as rapidly. E=MC² originally was supposed to come out six months ago. Leading up to November, every time she’d make a public appearance and answer the inevitable questions about the album, she’d talk about it as a work in progress, frequently saying that she was “just recording,” even into the new year. I love that Mariah has seemingly turned from compulsive releasing to obsessive crafting, as though she can only be pathological about pop music. (I can relate!) And you want to talk obsessive? Seven of these 14 tracks strike within 10 seconds of the three-minute-thirty-second mark, the supposedly magic running time for a pop single. She thumps the Bible on the arresting piano-gospel closer of “I Wish You Well,” but everywhere else she thumps The Manual.

“Cruise Control,” which cops reggae no more offensively than your average Gwen Stefani track, knits three hooks in a row. It sports a pre-chorus bridge, a chorus and then a mega-chorus. The songwriting craft is astounding. Equally astounding? The idea that it’s appropriate to adopt a Jamaican accent for the track’s second verse, which hilariously goes: “’Can’t nobody can’t nobody tell me nuttin' / When he comes into view / ‘Cause he’s the flyest ting when he be cruisin’ on me avenue / When tha door open, de gals pon de block / They be hopin’, to rob tha clock me say no man / Step up step up bottle broken think I’m jokin’…?” Ting! She says “ting!”

But then, she’s always been interested in passing, from her career-long transition from adult contemporary to hip-hop soul, to now, as she rocks a rasta hat with the fake dreadlocks and elsewhere adopts the ghetto-fab swag of “Migrate” (“’Soon as we walk through the door / Fellas be grabbin' at us like whoa / Tryin' to get us goin' off that Patrón / We sippin' Grigio...slow”). I see this as nothing but a further shading in of her frequently childlike identity: she’s playing dress-up. In a time when aging divas like Janet Jackson and Madonna are doing everything they can to fade into the (often vivid and nice-looking) wallpaper of their music, Mariah isn’t afraid to be her ridiculous self. It’s one thing to sing as well as she does (or rather, can, via editing of her increasingly brittle voice), or to have the knack for melody and harmony that's only getting stronger as she grows older. But Mariah’s secret formula is that larger-than-life persona that she filtrates so precisely into her work. It’s why she can pull off a (dirtily) Southern-fried power-ballad like “Side Effects.” It’s why this album is better than The Emancipation of Mimi (too tempered in the persona department for my taste). And it’s why E=MC²  is so damn addictive.

That's the point, but the underlying theme suggests an inverse of it: E=MC²'s engineered infectiousness is a symptom of Mariah's dependence on quantatitve superstardom (via chart success). This isn't an album; it's a collection of hits. As such, it's a perfect reflection of Mariah's pop-artistry and fame addiction. That drug thing? Nothing new at all.

Comments

[Justin]

I just wanted to let you know that I think this review of her album is dead on and I tell people the same exact stuff when I'm describing it to non-'lambs', if you will. I have always been a huge Mariah fan, and Emancipation was extremely addictive in it's own right (minus fillers like Joyride and the vocally inspiring Stay the Night). E has become my second fav Mariah album of all time, next to Butterfly. Headin' to work, put on Cruise Control... On the way to the club, we're blazing up to That Chick and then on the way home, it's time to Migrate. The nice folks love this album, even if you dislike Mariah just because she's Mariah. Many people do but this album has regained her a lot of respect in the industry, and I'm sure she's dealing with the Side Effects of it. :) It's all about having fun and making great music for the nice lambs. Lots of singles of this one, lots of them. I hear they're planning to release at least 4. Touch My Body, in my opinion, should not have been on the album. It's a great pop song, and there's no way it would be a filler, as it's too commercial NOT to be released. I think Heat or 4real4real, the bonus tracks from the foreign copies are great songs and would have done better on the album, releasing either That Chick or Migrate as the premier single. Whatever, we still love it. :)

[Fendie]

Obviously a Mariah fan will always defends her by justifying. I love her as an artist, the vocal layering thing she does is amazing. But here are a few songs thatI dont feel guilty liking on this album.
1)O.O.C coz the fun there sounds genuine, like she's actually laughing with it. Is Mariah trying to create her own O.P.P? Ha ha. Go on then woman
2)I also like That Chick coz it reminds me of Mariah's Sent From Up Above..and the track is sassy + confident but girly. So Mariah. .

3)I Stay In Love is ridiculous, but its totally catchy and radio ready. I liked this much better than Bye Bye which is as Corny as Fantasia's Baby Mama. I dont hate it even if its a carbon copy of We Belong Together. E=MC2 indeed.

4)I'll Be Lovin U Long Time. Hate the title, but its totally Mariah bein cute and sexy, by using a catchphrase often associated with Thai prostitutes. But her asian fans might not find this funny. The song is not bad tho but hello, Kanye Good Life?

5)I WISH U WELL. I love it when she pushes herself above all the whispering and the Bone Thungs speed stop speed stop phrasing.

Bring back the singing Mimi.
I wish you well.

[dean]

What a total w**ker you are! complaining that an album has too many good songs on it!

what is she supposed to release an album like madonna does and put a couple of good singles on and the rest of the album is fillers?!

Mariah rocks, this is her best album yet, and sh*ts all over TEOM!

[Speedracer]

Since the beggining of Mariah's career, she has been the artist that some critics love to put down.Why? Very simple Mariah is a huge success no matter what she sings or writes. Of course with someone so famous like Mariah shes gonna have her share of "HATERS" and of course those who love her. Mariah is herself no matter what the rest of slow contemporary lovers love to listen to. I personally love E=MC2..and yes im a true fan..from vision of love to Migrate..

[TY]

this album is DOPE!
so freaking awesome!

[LeadMyWay]

My utmost respect for you and your prodigious review. You really amaze me. An impressive writing craftmanship... WOW, really, what an orgasm reading you man. Kudos to a professional, a writer and a n artist of the expression.

[Mariah Carey]

I don't know what the fuck are you trying to say about the album!!! Please make your points clearer! Nobody would want to read such a piece of crap! Some parts of your review were sounding as if you are very sophisticated but actually I don't think you are!

By the way, if you want to say Mariah sucks, just say it!

[Mikhail]

Well, Rich wrote a crafty & awesome review for an amazing album.
Just one major discord - "I Stay In Love" is my favorite track & I think it's got TRUE SOUL in it - so hmmmm

[marc cruz]

can i say that no matter how much i liked what teom did for mariah, many songs there were also reworkings of the songs in those albums, like copycat housing.

the difference between tracks like side effects and the fun pop fluff of ooc should have been noted in so far as the teom tracks do not display this difference.

i love the review though and thought you shouldve done it for slant, not sal.

[Fendie]

For me all her albums have some gems on them. Even Glitter's soundtrack had some good stuff (actually its pretty good). I didnt say that this album is not good. But the best? U must be kidding. Emancipation (E=MC1?) was definitely much better. Mariah's first and 2nd album was also (IMHO) much greater than this. But is this album awful? No. Its fun and current sounding. It will sell by the truckloads. Migrate is a big club hit waiting to happen. But she doesnt do much new things to make us more impressed. She's satisfied with just being cute. The whole album is totaly an exercise of making hits from simple things when you know as an artist she is talented and brilliant (Underneath The Stars, Mine Again, Whenever You Call,.etc etc). But this is too easy. She might as well cover Souljah Boy. Imagine MC doing the Superman in her Miss Sixty jeans and her lotion skin. Suupperrman....

[jer.]

wow. that was literally the best review of this album i've heard. you hit it right on the nose~ i fucking love this record.

[Gino]

Finally, your review! Was expecting you'd do the review for SLANT. I'm a Mariah fan, and objectively speaking, she is for me the best diva there is. (duh!)

But Eric Henderson's review is just so disappointing. He doesn't get it. Mariah isn't an artist. She doesn't have to be. She's already a diva!

PS. Luv ur BUTTERFLY review. Everytime I feel the need to justify my love for Mimi, I read it! (Hahaha) Do blog more aboutm E=MC2 pls!

[Barooney]

Now, I'm new to this blog, but I must say I'll be back for more good reading. I do love this album - probably more than you, Rich! I agree with most of what you said about every song, with the exception of 'I Stay In Love'. Yes, I can see how you'd group it in with the other 'We Belong Together' template-songs. However, like you said yourself, she has a "knack for melody and harmony that's only getting stronger as she gets older" and I must say that your statement is exemplified in 'I Stay'. How can I resist her gorgeous low register in the first couple of choruses, then the stunning beauty of her high belting voice harmonizing with herself in the final chorus? Makes me want to blaze up and taste something!
'I'm That Chick' and "I'll Be Loving U Long Time' are exactly as you said ("sonic euphoria..."). 'Side Effects'? Genius. 'Cruise Control'? You got that one right too. 'I Wish You Well' has too many layered vocals that are distracting, but it is another stunning display of beautiful melody and harmony. Not to mention a great message.
Finally, don't be too hard on 'Bye Bye'. She means well, and it's a pretty melody.

[LadyM]

Wow! Great review. Straight up though, I absolutely love this album!!!! From the beginning to the end! Why critisize Mariah Carey for writing songs that the masses enjoy? So what if it is formulamatic? Don't most POP stars come out with formulamatic albums. Most of Janet Jacakson's, Mary J Blige's, and all if Alicia Keys album sound the same, but Mariah seems to be the artist that generates the negativity. Damn, I guess that how it goes when your the biggest Diva of them all. Mimi, do your thang.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I know nothing about music (certainly when compared to you, Rich, and many of the lovely people here); I'm just a white boy who sees "4/4 beat" and my head tilts like a cocker spaniel contemplating a dog barking on the TV. I also haven't heard more than whatever's on the radio of this new album. So all I want to say is, though I know we gays are supposed to love Mariah for her utterly ridiculous divadom (she is undoubtedly ridiculous and a diva), but I just can't warm to her. Maybe it's some PTSD from watching Glitter, but I think it's because I truly believe the woman is mentally ill. The infantilism, the skintight everything (seriously, Mariah, even straight boys must be tired of looking at it by now), the it just screams "I have ISSUES!" to me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Also, I love a diva bitch, but, to appropriate from ANTM, she doesn't seem like a fun diva bitch, but a bitchy diva bitch, and that turns me off.

I know none of you care, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

[sia]

I knew MC had to be into pot. So much of her music is perfect for getting high to--the hip hop remixes to Always Be My Baby, I Still Believe, My All, Heartbreaker, Underneath the Stars (faded indeed) and of course, the whole Butterfly album. Love her, and I think her new album is a perfect fit for what's on the radio today. I just happen to hate what's on the radio. Side Effects is alright though. Needs less Jeezy.

[Lianne]

Rich...

SAY WORD!!!!! You read my WHOLE mind with this review.

[fancastgirl]

I have a lot of respect for Mariah Carey and I think she's a very talented singer! If you are a huge fan too, watch the exclusive video premiere of Mariah Carey's new single, "Bye Bye." Exclusively on Comcast.net at midnight this Friday, 4/25/08!

http://www.comcast.net/music/mariahcarey/

[Chuy]

Breakdown is one of my all time faves. "Side Effects" is the gem on this album

[Rob Enderle]

I heard this airhead talk:
NO WAY did she know what E=MC² meant.

Not even if it was sprinkled with chocolate and cocaine.

[Rob Enderle]

> How can you hate the lines, "I do's > it naturally, hypontize like
> Biggie, but you ain't havin'
> dreams"

I know that 50% of the adult population of Detroit is illiterate (just google it) but how bad is it in the rest of the country?

[Rollin it up]

Yeah! I think she's smokin something. You got to be high to marry Nick Cannon. Wake up the next mornin talkin abot what u talkin about Mariah like Gary Coleman.

[Hosea]

I must compliment you on your web site.
I am from Zaire and learning to read in English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Airlines tickets, cruises, tours and rent a car for individuals, groups or business to europe."

With respect :-), Hosea.

[Cfypuxjw]

EuEVOa

[Skelvoto]

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