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May 27, 2008




this is the best examination and explanation of what makes dina lohan such a sad presence -- you've done it again!

i heart fourfour.


But.. aren't you going to post about The Paper finale? She got in! She got in!


yah there wastes of skin. i for one hope you don't cover it, the last thing we need to give the lohan's is more attention. i hope they take a long walk off a short pier and soon.
i still love christmas magic tho. so want that album for next christmas


I saw Ali on Letterman and immediately got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Even Letterman seemed sort of repulsed and unable to ask her questions fluently or even make a joke of her. She just kept talking about how "normal" she was, how "normal" her family was, and how they were doing the show to prove their "normal family" status to the haters. She's young so I guess on some level I'm supposed to forgive how subjective her concept of "normal" is. But deeply tragic is spot-on. Dina Lohan disgusts me in every single way it is possible for a human to disgust me. If she were a dude I bet she'd get poop on my dick.


in the "listen to this" gif, she looks like a wallace and gromit version of lindsay lohan

you got me into "the paper", my my, i wish you could blog about the last episode

aaand, i saw your name on a vh1 commercial last night!!!!!

Heather B.

Of course you said that 897 times better than I ever could so I will just nod my head vigorously in agreement.

Also, did you happen to watch Denise Richards before La Lohans?? My reaction to that travesty was pretty much on par with your reaction to Living Lohan: Bullshit and overuse of the word 'normal'. You know, to come off as 'normal' because that's what we normal people do.


We don't get this one up here in Canada (at least where I am)...didn't get Bobby Brown either but your blog is so awesome it was like I saw the episodes for myself.

Wish Winston a Happy Birthday! (If I read the archives right his birthday is around now)


Shame on all of us? Sorry, no. I didn't watch this and I don't plan on it. Not saying I'm superior, just saying don't rope me into your scolding.

Miss Lisa

Rich--please don't watch this any more. I don't want anything bad to happen to your brain.


thank you. i haven't been caught up on my lohans lately and now i feel um, a little TOO caught up. i'm going to smoke and watch that christmas magic song again. that was the SHIT.


Sorry, Rich, I'm not gonna go there with you this time. Dina and all the Lohans do not deserve one-fifteenth of their 15 minutes of fame.


I remember reading an article in Harper's Bazaar shortly after one of Lindsay's "episodes" (I can't remember which one - arrest? rehab? relapse?) in which the journalist is hanging with Demon in a limo and she is crowing about being fabulous and forty and some other shite and seriously? I wanted to to beat her senseless. What a stupid cunt. Attend to your child you worthless piece of crap.

And then the reasonable part of me kicks in and feels profound pity for someone so utterly bereft of self awareness and inner peace.

I LOVE Tracy Ullman's Dina Lohan impersonation on her new show (State of the Union). Spot fucking on.


Well, now I wish I had bothered to wrestle the remote out of all the men's hands last night and switched from the stupid American Gladiators marathon to this horrible show. The women in the place threatened to do it once, but the looks we got let us know how intent they were to see a grown man, whose tax return reads "Gladiator", to howl like a motherfucking wolf. Unbelievable.
House of Jules


Well said Rich. This show is a train wreck, yet I cannot stop watching. That animated gif you made of Allie is the lovechild of plastic Heidi Montag and Lindsay. Really scary!!

Steve Abramson

Two completely unrelated topics Rich

1) In regards to this post, yesterday I was out and about town and when I passed the Palms (I live in Las Vegas), there was a HUGE sign in front announcing the premiere of this crap show and I said out loud (please, for the love of god, don't tell me these skanks are in my town)... But then again, ever since "Real World" filmed at the Palms, it's the constant sighting for celebrities. Not only did Britney make her embarrassing comeback at that hotel, we have the Celebrity Poker tournaments here. Even some major A-list musicians play their concerts there. Yet, I have YET to see a celebrity there myself. Granted, there's a lot of fuckables there (which is why my cockring is always on when I go there, just in case I can play starfucker... but I digress)... Anyway, so I can semi-sorta-kinda relate to your post only cause I thought of it...

2) Far be it from me to request anything from you (although you have granted me two wishes already - a Twiggy soundbite and an Anya gif - although I think lots of people requested the latter)... and lord knows you and I are musically as drastic as Venus and Mars, I was just wondering if you have heard or purchase Cyndi Lauper's new album. (Her first all-new material release in 12 years... and yes I know the B-52's and Donna Summer have done the same as well recently). It's just that when I listened to this album today, it reminds me SO much of Queer As Folk. She makes one apperance on that show (of course right before Babylon blows up) and her music DRASTICALLY changed in that direction as I couldn't help but think that this CD would've made a perfect soundtrack for one season... So if you're heard it/bought it - care to do a mini-commentary if you either have the time or even feel inclined to do so... (and speaking of QAF, why couldn't Rosie O'Donnell have been in THAT episode so she could've bit the dust - cause that would've been the ONLY thing that could've saved that show from having such a fucking disastrous last season!)

As always, I heart you too! - More hardcore Rich nudity! (Oh wait... that's my dream... nevermind...)



OMG. What the hell is that Christmas Magic shit??! That girl should be working at McDonalds (although I'm sure she has no people skills), not on TV.


Christmas Magic at 1:37...Sid from Ice Age? Exactly.


"spraying yourself with syphilis to help with your herpes flare-ups"


I <3 Rich.

Jumping Fences

I am fascinated by the train wreck that is the Lohan family, and so I am glad you reviewed this so I don't have to watch it myself.

I watched the Christmas Magic video because I thought it might be funny, but I couldn't even bring myself to laugh. I was just stunned instead. If Ali was slightly more caricatured, I would absolutely believe that was a parody of a Christmas song music video, rather than an actual one. I particularly enjoyed the person-in-a-reindeer costume dancing towards the end. What the fuck?


the end of your post made me envision Dina as the stage-mom equivalent of a super-rat. once again your perspective on utter trash somehow redeems it. i heart fourfour. sexy devil.


the end of your post made me envision Dina as the stage-mom equivalent of a super-rat. once again your perspective on utter trash somehow redeems it. i heart fourfour. sexy devil.


I saw a clip of Ali on Letterman and some morning show and she basically said the exact same line, word for word, about the normalcy of her family. Kind of takes the "normal" right out of it when you're 14 years old and constantly re-hashing a press release. Sad.


OOOOooooh, is Living Lohan the new ANTM?! Oh so trashy and wonderful. Thank you thank you thank you Rich for bringing screen grabs of this train wreck to my computer, I was worried that (A) I wouldn't get posts like this until fall (or whenever ANTM starts again) and (B) nobody would address my new obsession with this.


Your last line gave me goosebumps.


Rich, I love that you use the word 'bobo'. You are one of two people I have ever heard say it with any kind of frequency and it's such an awesome word.

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