Four more 4/4s

My ongoing fascination with current pop songs that employ the 4/4 beat...goes...on. At this point, the trend has legs to hurdled over the house fest of the early '90s and is running closer to the territory of the disco craze, when everyone and their mother had a stomping track. (Today's translation of "everyone and their mother," by the way, just happens to be Coldplay). I don't know if there's a larger statement beyond retroism to be made about the 4/4 beat's ubiquity (in this time of particularly heightened commercialism due to a sagging music industry, the powers that be want to pummel the potential hits into your head, as literally as possible?). But what I do know is that as long as there are 4/4 stompers as gorgeous as the one immediately below, my gaze will remain fixed.

Jennifer Hudson - "Spotlight"

When Jennifer Hudson was unceremoniously booted from the fifth season of American Idol, I thought to myself, “Well, at least she’s got a future in house music.” I didn’t know how right I was. J.Hud’s first official single, “Spotlight,” is by no means a banger, but it does show that if anyone should be employing the pounding of 4/4, it’s someone with a voice as potentially pulverizing as Hudson. This lovely, lovely track most vividly recalls Phyllis Hyman’s early disco-inflected work like “You Know How To Love Me,” and “Under Your Spell" -- tracks the mirror ball prowled above slowly, as if with trepidation for the beast below. Probably because she's still full from Dreamgirls (or maybe because the song’s writer, Ne-Yo, told her not to), Hudson doesn’t chew the scenery here – she’s clear-voiced, just-sad-enough and more capable of nuance than I was ever ready to give her credit for. Every bit of this song is too classy for its own good (to wit, it's struggling for attention on R&B radio). And that worries me, since Ne-Yo is, at this point, a track or two away from completely getting his Mtume on, and I don't want him to give up in the face of commercial failure. If we get cheated out of his anthem, his very own “Never Knew Love Like This Before,” I’m gonna be pissed.

Hot Rod featuring B. Dozier and Tila Tequila - "I Like To Fuck"

Let’s talk about the word "fuck" for a minute. Or how ‘bout we leave that up to virtual unknowns Hot Rod (of G-Unit), B. Dozier and their happy whore realitard Tila Tequila, who have joined forces to create what’s probably my favorite song of the year so far. "I Like To Fuck" combines elements of two of my favorite pseudo-disco tracks of the ‘90s: it glides and pumps like Monifah’s “Touch It” (albeit without any help from “White Horse”) until the slick chorus, which grabs you by the hair and slaps you across your fat ass with a fat dick, much like Snoop Dogg & Friends’ “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None).” It all seems excessively tawdry, like the parties involved took those songs and ejaculated on them (including Tila – she squirts “like the wipers on my hot car,” didn’t you know?). But there is redemption in B. Dozier’s addictive chorus (as compulsively listenable as it is sexually compulsive), in which he croons (croons!), “Don’t get it fucked up, baby, you’re my queen / Even though I go and put my dick in everything.” At that point, it’s clear that it’s all a big put-on, and it’s all just a pissing contest to see who can out-crass whom. Tila wins, mostly, I think, as sort of the walking, fucking embodiment of Ariel Levy’s archetypal woman who thinks she’s liberated, but in reality is just sacrificing her dignity for the sake of men’s fantasies. Tila exhibits a degree of repulsiveness that’s high even for her when she says, “I like to fuck, suck cock until I hurl.” Oh really? Is that, like, a diet plan? Honestly, what kind of cavewoman shit is that? No matter, though – like period blood in Showgirls, her repugnant presence makes the ridiculous even more ridiculous and helps “Fuck” accomplish everything it sets out to do. At last, Tila Tequila’s idiocy has a constructive outlet.

Chris Brown - "Forever"

When Akon became as big as the blood diamonds that he doesn't believe exist (around the time of "I Wanna Love You"), my friend Bernie wisely compared his Auto-Tuned shtick to Daft Punk's. And now that gerbil voices are as essential to hit-making as 808s were a few years ago, everything's come full circle. Complete with robo-voices and filters, "Forever" is like a Discovery outtake zapped of irony and slowed down for maximum earnestness. And earnest it is -- it's sort of adorable how Brown gets to play out youth's typical immortality complex in a song about dancing forever. This is about the best Chris Brown song ever, which is like saying that last night's castration was the best ever. But whatever, can't deny progress when you see it. Harder, better, faster, stronger is the way to go, Chris!

Rihanna - "Disturbia"

"What's wrong with me?" Rihanna wonders within the first few seconds of this track. I'm no doctor, but I bet her problems stem from the fact that she thinks "disturbia" is a condition and not just the name of a 2007 Shia LaBeouf Hitchcockian thriller. She says it best herself: "Dumb, dumb, dee, dumb, dumb." God, Rihanna stole Ciara's contemporary dance-queen title, and then she's going to deliver this? It's all good, though: Ciara's upcoming Fantasy Ride is set to include a track called "Work," which is an homage to voguing. Once that's out we'll really be able to tell who's the bitch now.

In other 4/4 news, newish tracks by Pussycat Dolls, Jesse McCartney and even Lindsay Lohan all use the beat. In other words, the end is nigh! Enjoy the enjoyable while you can.

Comments

[Sara]

How it is that you've managed to go this long without writing about the work of Robyn is beyond me.

Keep plying us with the music, Sir.

[HouseofJules]

Wasn't it Bill Clinton who first uttered the phrase, "Baby, don't take it personal when I go and fuck these hos?" featured in that Hot Rod track?
Jules
House of Jules

[Icarus]

Ok, I'm starting to not like where all this 4/4 is going. "Spotlight" rocks; I actually do like "Forever", even though every time I hear the lyric "Double your pleasure, double your fun", I can't help thinking that line was lifted right off of a Doublemint jingle... But that "I like to fuck" song is pretty horrid, and I don't like Disturbia too much. Those last three you mentioned... I won't even go there. Two words: um, ew.

And I agree with Sara. Do you know about Robyn? She is seriously awesome, and you should check her out.

[David]

the J-Hud track is perfection. love, love, love it... i'm kinda feeling Bossy by La Lohan as well!

[Whitney]

Awesome blog! I'm loving your music selects. Based on your tastes, I thought you might be into If Looks Could Kill. I work with Toyota, and they just held a party this week for these thrilling new webisodes, Keyshia Cole performed too!! ILCK follows an aspiring fashion designer, Bianca, who's involved in international espionage by night. If you're familiar with the BMW shorts from a couple of years ago (Guy Ritchie, Madonna), these webisodes definitely have a similar production level.

Link: http://www.iflookscouldkill.com

Interactive: Toyota has gone one step further, the viewer can interact with Bianca to help her unravel the mystery that has suddenly become her life. I really enjoy the multiple levels; it adds a dimension of reality to the story and builds a unique relationship between the main character and viewer.

Launch party: As I mentioned, we just had our official launch party on 6/11 in NYC — with a special performance by Keyshia Cole, and appearances made by Alexis Phifer, Rosci, Avant, Eric Benet, and Mashonda!

I'd really love your take on the first episode—Haute Pursuit—and discuss more as the other episodes roll-out. Myself, I'm still trying to figure out who the bad guy is—the ex, the boyfriend, the boss? Or maybe it's Nana? lol

Again, would love your take because bloggers like yourself definitely have a good eye about what's cool, hot and current. I would have contacted you via email but I didn't know which the best way to reach you was. I hope I didn't overstep my bounds by directly contacting you.

Don't be shy!

Best,
Whitney Maiers
ILCK Ambassador
maiers.whitney@gmail.com

[rajmahall]

Hey, Rich. Don't forget the new Danity Kane single. I should warn you, it is shamefully listenable.

[couto]

For real, I'm not even lying, the second I fell in love with SPOTLIGHT - a mere two days ago - I thought of you and your love of 4/4. Much to my surprise and delight, you beat me to the punch. Maybe I'll be a little quicker on the uptake next time and get a recommendation in pre-haste. ;)

[Greg]

That J-Hud track is tons of fun. Who knew Eugena would turn out to be your favorite producer's producer?

[Crystal M]

I don't know how fond you are of N.E.R.D., but I've been playing their latest album non-stop for the last couple weeks and my favorite track?
A kicky four-four beat:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_cdPWwBKplI

Check it out.

[RD]

Spam and Robyn comments. Wow.

Anyway, I tried to like "I Like to Fuck." Despite the awesome beat, I just can't. I don't like the rapping at all from either Hot Rod or Tila Tequila. Not to mention that if G-Unit's street cred went down at least 10 notches because one of its members worked with Tila Tequila. I'm guessing John Cena will revise his rap career and work with G-Unit next then.

[Billy]

I'm so happy you like Spotlight! I feel like it's legit now. And thank you so much for mentioning the incredibly underappreciated "Touch It," one of my favorite songs from childhood.

I can't wait for Janet to go on tour and read your run down.

[John]

Any time someone can reference Phyllis Hyman in an entry is a good day, and I completely hear the similarities. Of the four, it's actually the Rihanna that doesn't connect with me. And I'm REALLY looking forward to the Ciara project, with its three pronged attack. Should be a good time.

[FartyArty]

Word on all these choices (and those in your previous post on 4/4), but I agree with the commenter above about your exclusion of Robyn. I've fallen in love with her new album and am anticipating any words you might have on it!

[nk]

Spotlight is a great track. He talked about Robyn 2 years ago, 'Crash and Burn Girl' (Jesper Dahlbach Mix), an awesome mix by the way.

[ladytee]

I love you for shouting out Phyllis Hyman's "You know how to love me." I just love the long version of that song. Perfection. I like the J-Hud song and the photo montage. Now I'm going to check out the other clips.

[mel]

This is completely unrelated but I HAD to turn you on to a show called SKINS. It airs on E4, in the UK.

Watch some on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxJoYKP_Tqc

The first ep. is kinda weird but it gets better and better.

[kt]

I feel validated in my extreme addiction to "I Like To Fuck" now that I know you like it. It's the most irresistible filth I've ever experienced.

[mariaaaaa]

I like the catchy chorus to "I Like To Fuck" as well, but it seemed vaguely familiar... I realized that it reminds me of Mary J's "I'm Fine" (which I love), so I'mo go listen to that.

I love your music posts! I always find something new to like or at least learn something. I'm def. gonna check out J.Hud's album.

[Maleficent]

OH MY GOD. That "I like to fuck" song is the funniest shit i have heard in AGES. First, i HATE that i'm over here grooving to it. I HATE that it really does remind me of "Touch It" which i LOVED back in the day.

And WHY DID I BUST OUT LAUGHING when Tila referenced Michael Jackson-more than once?!

Kill me, kill me now.

[Fred V]

Ne-Yo is saving the best 4/4 for himself.

[JAWNNY]

"No matter, though – like period blood in Showgirls, her repugnant presence makes the ridiculous even more ridiculous and helps “Fuck” accomplish everything it sets out to do. At last, Tila Tequila’s idiocy has a constructive outlet."

When I read lines like this on fourfour, I become more and more convinced that broad swathes of our brains are wired exactly the same - these reviews were hilarious and on-point, as always!

[hughman]

"you know how to love me". one of the greatest songs ever.

[Robyn fan]

Seriously, Robyn's album is GLORIOUS. Like M.I.A. doing Britney, only better/more absurd. (Synonymous?)

[Mikey]

I'm totally going to plead ignorance here. What's so unique about a 4/4 beat? Am I missing something? In music, the 4/4 meter is the most common meter that exists. I've always thought it's the default. Is there something with respect to pop or R&B music that makes 4/4 special?

[mary]

I'm sorry, I have nothing coherent to add because I'm in love with that f'ing Chris Brown song. It's Xanadu - 2008!