She just doesn't get it

"I still don't know if I'm straight or if I'm gay!" - Tila Tequila

No, really. She said that:

(Download)

So, wait, there was ever a question about her sexuality? I thought her whole thing was that she DID know all there was to know about it -- isn't that why we all know about it? You know, because she's constantly howling (in a voice that's increasingly Pee-Wee Hermanesque), "I'm a bisexual! I'm a BISEXXXXSHUUUUUAHLLLLLLLL!!!!"

Watching this clip has me thinking that she really is the stupidest person to have been given a public platform in some time. And yeah, I know she's being jokey above, but that compounds the tragedy: she can't even make fun of her herself correctly! And, god damn it, there's so much to make fun of that she if she devoted her life to self-mockery, there'd be no time to actually exist. She wins, we win.

"I still don't know if I'm straight or if I'm gay," is so telling because that's the exact sentiment that lies unconscious in so much college-age sexual experimentation. There's a difference between bisexual and bi-curious. By even suggesting that being bisexual is defined by uncertainty (that this should even be in her head at all when she's supposed to be SuperBi!), I think Tila Tequila outed herself as the latter. It's almost hilarious that the most audible queer mouthpiece in pop culture doesn't actually know what being queer entails.

Before she could hurdle the bar of inanity on Bravo's A-List Awards (from which the clip above was taken, thanks to Tracie, who had it saved on her DVR), Tila set it last week when she declared herself responsible for the California gay marriage decision. That's obviously a big bunch of bull balls (and a pig's vagina for good measure), but that's not to say that Tila has nothing to show us about ourselves as a society. If nothing else, her behavior and road to fame-whoring (perhaps it's more a strip than a road) show us that we've reached a point where it's profitable to commodify the sexual (and not just cultural) aspect of queer sexuality. It might be a drunken stumble ahead, but hey, at least it's ahead. I just wish that Tila had enough respect for gay culture to realize that it helps her way more than she helps it.

Comments

[HouseofJules]

As a big fan and devotee of almost every single VH1 reality show everyone loves to hate, I can't believe that Tila Tequila got her own show for not only one season, but TWO. The best part of that clip was Kathy Griffin's eye roll.
Jules
House of Jules

[Molly]

Tila has no self-awareness. She's a gay celebrity for straight guys. The implicit message is that she really likes dick but she'll hook up with girls because she's just such a big whore...for attention.

She is summed up perfectly in song form by Katy Perry and her singing about kissing of girls. "I kissed a girl just to try it...I hope my boyfriend don't mind it."

If there were any sort of self-critique in the song, or like a hint that she might be serious enough about kissing girls to stop having a boyfriend (and caring what he thinks), it would be fine.

Instead it's just sending the same stupid message to young girls: "it's fine to experiment with girls, as long as you do it in front of men purely for their sexual gratification."

[maura]

Co-signing what Molly said, particularly about ex-Christian pop star Katy Perry. I can't wait until 2018, when she goes back to embracing Jesus for the fifth time in her career....

[RD]

It's statements like "I don't know whether I'm straight or gay" that people that don't believe bisexuality exists use to uphold their beliefs. Thanks, Tila!

she's like play-doh, she'll mold to be whatever brings joy to us

[Saun]

Tila Tequila personifies what I hate about the concept of "being bisexual". I can respect a straight or gay person because they have made a definite decision. I can respect a person that says I might be gay but I'm not sure. But to me most people who claim to be "bisexual" are either closet porn stars or people that are in denial about being gay and just think it's cool to play both sides of the fence which to me is just greedy. I have yet to meet a bisexual that is a true bisexual.

[Linda]

Re: Saun--Your comment above just kind of proves Rich's point about the impact Tila's time in the spotlight might have on some viewers. I think it's pretty ridiculous and ignorant to claim that all bisexuals are greedy and/or in denial. Explain to me what is greedy about someone being open to both sexes, sexually or romantically. Human beings in general can be greedy but it has nothing to do with your sexual preferences. You've never met a true bisexual? What is your definition of a "true" bisexual? It's probably based on your own perception that someone who is bisexual has to be exactly equal in their sexual leanings. By that logic, a gay man who has occasional sexual interactions with women but chooses to label himself as gay is not allowed to call himself that because that's not "truly" gay. Why are you allowed to be so judgmental about bisexuality when you're supposedly accepting of gay/straight attitudes? Why do you care about how someone might label themselves? Ignorance about some aspects of queerness is still ignorance.

That being said, I dislike Tila's show but not because of her bisexual claim--I don't really care how she interprets herself. The fact that she has been made into a reality tv star based on this assertion, and stars on a show that's based solely on not-so-subtle sexual exploits, well, I find that a little more offensive.

[Stroll]

Molly gets it exactly right. She is supposed to be a hot lesbo fantasy for strait guys. Imagine this show with a big ole butch dyke, or, with a bisexual man as the central character. Queerness has to be run through the washing machine before it can be shown to the mainstream.

[marc h.]

good news! we can all "suck [her] dick"

[christy]

that was the most fatuous, attention-whoring acceptance speech ever. what is the award for anyway? i can't imagine it could be in any way relevant to that bout of verbal diarrhea.

[laylaness]

I think I contract a new STD every time I see her picture.

This is my problem with internet and recent reality-show culture. There is some good that comes out of it: I love the intertubes, and god knows I can't get enough ANTM or ProjRun; when I see someone like Ms. Tequila get famous from being slutty on MySpace and then get her own "dating" show, I want to vomit.

Even as a straight girl from Oakland, I'm offended by her "speech" at the Bravo awards, and by her statement that she helped legalize same-sex marriage in California.

I guess we can only hope that she's actually mocking herself and we're too dumb to get it.

[Jean]

I guess I'm legally bisexual but I even hate to use the term because of the stigma attached to it. I guess I should reclaim the word or some shit but it's just too embarassing with the Tila Tequilas out there. I used to call her kind the "cat-like bisexuals" when I was in college. It's not that she likes both men and women, it's more that she'll hook up with anyone (as witnessed by some of the losers she totally makes out with on her show). It's this cat like sexuality where she'll stalk and paw and "raow" at anyone who will pay attention to her. No offense to kitties. But that kind of sexuality is more about attention than sexual orientation. That's so different than really being bisexual. Especially me since I seem to be attracted to very few and hook up with no one despite having something for all genders.

[Kimberly]

Laylaness I couldn't agree more. I actually said to me co-worker before reading your comment "I get herpes just from looking at her."

Tila has absolutely no value whatsoever. I hate her with the fire of a thousand sons. I enjoy my low-brow, vapid television programming but that show is just way too far gone for me. Everytime I see her I just fell rage. My hatred has nothing to do with her supposed bi-sexuality, just her and her fame-whoring ways.

[sophie]

tila tequila is such a waste of space

I think Tila Tequila represents the ambiguity of female sexuality rather than male sexuality. I think female sexuality is much more fluid, and women are more naturally open to bisexuality.
The reason I don't think Tila is just faking it and doing it for the titillation of straight guys is because she chose Danni (sp?) as her runner-up on the first season. Danni was pretty dykey.
The only reason I think Tila is okay is because she represents a no-judgment, go-with-the-flow kind of openness to sex. She's kind of stupid but I think her open sexuality is a function of that stupidity. An intelligent and self-aware person would have made a choice a long time ago.

[Genevieve]

Couldn't agree more with the folks here. Tila is just about Tila. She'll do anything with anybody just for the attention.
It's not just her that gives bisexuality a bad name, it's all the chicks out there that will make out with another girl but never have a relationship with one. Tila is just giving those girls a face.
That is why I call myself queer. I get offended is someone calls me bi, cause I'm not one of those attention seeking women.
Could Tila just get a deathly case of herpes & go away already!?!?!

[rhino]

oh, and why is it that just because she's a woman with a healthy sexual appetite, she's immediately a whore with a sexual transmitted disease? whoa.

[mary]

Her sexuality is her gimmick. Myspace "fame" notwithstanding, who was going to watch her show when superstars (dripping sarcasm) like Bret Michaels were looking for love via reality shows? So make her bi, it's her hook and it gets people to watch.

And this is the first I heard about the CA comment. *slaps forehead* Can she puh-leeze go away now?

[Kimberly]

I really need to reread my comments before I hit post. I meant "my coworker" and "fire of a thousand suns". I really hate when my English fails me.

"If nothing else, her behavior and road to fame-whoring (perhaps it's more a strip than a road) show us that we've reached a point where it's profitable to commodify the sexual (and not just cultural) aspect of queer sexuality."

Sorry, I'm a fan of your writing and insights, but this is a bit of a stretch for me. Since when has American culture not commodified human sexuality, especially the female kind?

[sparkle]

Since when has American culture not commodified human sexuality, especially the female kind?

I have to agree with this unnamed commenter. The rules are plain, really. Lesbians/queer females get to have sexuality and no culture. Gay men get to have culture and no sexuality. Broad strokes, yes, but if anyone tries to argue that Rosie and Ellen represent dyke culture I will poke my eyes out.

[Miss Lisa]

That's about as stupid as you can be and still walk and talk at all.

[kiki]

Completely agreed with RD- comments like Tila's are why bisexuals are marginalized by the gay and straight communities alike. It's unfortunate that bisexuals are either seen as "gay people confused about their true sexuality" or "straight attention whores". And Saun, yes, there are "true" bisexual people out there, and they'd be pretty offended by your comment.

[MissNee]

Tila has had a long time BF through all of this. She using being Bi as a hook for her waste of a show.

Someone who's only real claim to fame was being the most popular myspace whore with the most friends is completely BAT SHIT CRAZY for thinking they had even a small part in something as huge as gay marriage being legalized in california!!!!!!!

i've hear many people say she's not as dumb as she looks, but the youtube clip above and her recent statement about gay marriage in CA points to her being dumb as rocks

[duane]

I'm actually pissed at Bravo for giving her even more undeserved fame.