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July 15, 2008


Agreed, forever is the song of the summer. Wish it was Best Best though,
He cute, he fresh.
He give me good sex.
I'm feelin' it

sweet jawnny

Thanks for this lovely trip-down-the-Shore recap! Though the Jersey Shore is inferior to the beaches of Delaware (where I grew up), I share your affinity for trashy t-shirt shops and the smell of Coppertone mixed with sea air and boardwalk fries.

Torrin Paige

Truly, Storybook Land is a fright fest. My gosh, it's almost like watching the Polar Express! Also? Your new shirt is the bestest. thing. EVER. By the by, since I now have weird Jesuses (Jesi? Jesees?) on the brain, have you happened to stumble across the bizarre phenomenon of fiber optic Jesus? I am still trying to locate a retailer that will allow me to buy in bulk so that, come Christmas-time, I will be able to send each of my friends a delightful piece of blasphemy! I especially want the flashing, color-changing, midi-musak playing Last Supper. It is truly a sight to behold!


Wow, I totally didn't need that reminder of my time in south Jersey. As someone who had to reside in Margate and went to high school in Pleasantville (oh wait, sorry, no, "Egg Harbor Township") this was quite the nostalgia factory. At least Lucy had something that at some point bordered on class. Or at least non-frightening novelty.


I never went down to Wildwood when I lived on Long Beach Island. I feel I missed some chunk of Americana. The residents of LBI like to think they are classier than the rest of the "shore."


Dear God! Those bears look like the blowjob giving furry in The Shining! I'll have to hit the Ambien tonight if I have even a prayer of getting any sleep.

Audrey C

I want "Ms. New Booty" to be the song of every summer.
I see a minstrel in that Gingerbread Man as well. Gingerbread men should be running or standing still, not tipping an imaginary hat like they just finished a vaudeville show.


Went to Wildwood for the first time in my life last Labor Day weekend w/my boyfriend (he kept trying to talk me out of it.) Passed all the racial and insensitive t-shirt huts and thought of you!

There is a place called Story Land in New Hampshire that is equally tacky. The same strip of highway that it's on has Six Gun City (a Wild West themed park) and Santa's Village (The North Pole/Christmas in summer). You can find these cheese-tastic places near Lake Winnepasaukee where it's people "camping" in trailers with Bombardier Skidoos, bikes, grills, and boats attached to the back.

Oh, my gooood. I used to end up at SBL every year on the way back to PA from Cape May. I had managed to block that fucking witch thing in your first pic out of my memory. Thanks, Rich, for inflicting me with some very PTSD-y flashbacks. Yay Storybook land!


Rich, two week ago I went to my first rib-fest and I thought of you and your post on confederate memorabilia. My sister and I combed the park looking for a conferedate flag and were ecstatic when we found a confederate belt buckle. I felt super trashy at a ribfest but you gotta get in touch with your trashy self sometime.


That baby carriage picture reminds me of the end of Rosemary's Baby where they have the kid/devil in a draped black bassinet with an upside-down cross hung over it. Is it possible the Jersey people are trying to be ironic, like "Hey south! We kicked your ass!"?
And we had a similar park, the Enchanted Forest, in Rhode Island when I was a kid. It's now in unsettling, unhappily ever after disrepair.


jealous?... HELL YES!! if you put up a skyscraper banner on your homepage, you need an affiliate fee. those baptism t-shirts would sell out in a jiffy... mostly because i would have bought them ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I went to the New Hampshire StoryBook Land as a kid. So many memories!! I think my brother has even brought my nephew in recent years. I have never been to South Jersey, but its so nice to see that there are these creepy parks everywhere.


oh god, weve got one here in NC but its christmas themed, located in the mountains...next to the 'petting' zoo filled with drugged up tigers and bears and such...Oh My? lol


...and im not even going to address the rebel flags thing. its far toooooo abundant here.

Jelena Vukosav

I am the biggest atheist there is on this planet, but I WANT THAT SHIRT...


Good God...I spent FOUR SUMMERS working/being suicidal in one of those "Casino/Arcades" on the Wildwood Boardwalk when I was in HS. You know--the ones where you spend $2,000 to gather enough points to buy a blender.

How did it manage to get even trashier?! I never thought it was possible. . .

Bourgeois Nerd

South Jersey REPRESENT! You make me proud to be a native son, Rich. My grandparents took my older sister to Storybook Land, but I never got to go. I can see I was waaaay deprived.

About the Confederacy stuff: You know, most of South Jersey is below the Mason-Dixon line, something I didn't realize until fairly recently. Another fun fact: South Jersey had Rebel sympathies during the Civil War, despite it being a free state. It explains a few things.

BTW, do you say "wuder"? My sister does, but I don't (but I'm a bit of a dialectical oddball anyway).


It's very Eastern Bloc. Decades-old displays, weirdly hand-made elements, thematically random content, and ratty landscaping. This is what I imagine a fun park looks like in Minsk.


Sorry to have to ask, but who is Romo?


LOVED the pics of Storybook Land--so cool! I'm originally from New England, and we used to go to a place called Story Town (Lake George, NY) every summer. I'm sure it was equally tacky (it's been replaced with a bona fide amusement park, I think), but I loved it and continue to have an afinity for trashy kitsch. Now I live in Oakland, CA and there's a place called Children's Fairyland here, a place of the same ilk. Sadly, my son never liked it there.

Anyway, thanks for sharing that.


I agree with Tanith about the Eastern Bloc resemblance. This is what Gorki Park looked like five years ago.


Oh how I enjoyed the blowjob faces!!


true, that shirt is great, but i'm sure it looks better on the floor :)


"I spent last week in the 12th state of the Confederacy, New Jersey." You had me at hello.

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