The truth has outed

You know, it kinda irked me when I found out on Tuesday that Clay Aiken came out. But then, it kinda irks me when Clay Aiken does anything. From the moment I laid eyes and ears on him, I didn't like him or his soul-free showtuney crooning. I was an avid American Idol watcher back in the day and I never believed a word out of this guy's mouth when he was on stage, not even when he compared himself (like so many) to a bridge over troubled water -- and that was a metaphor! His entire square shtick -- musical stiffness, gleaming whiteness and apparent interest in performance over communication -- just has nothing to do with what I enjoy in pop music. He's sort of like Céline Dion inhibited and in Raggedy Andy drag.Totally boring and utterly false, on stage and off.

And duh, we all knew it. Kathy Griffin owes much of her career to this communal knowledge. Even serious journalists like Diane Sawyer made double- (triple-, quadruple-) sure that his standard denial was true when his sexuality came up in interviews, as it often did. When Clay's coming-out story cascaded through the Internet on Tuesday, the general gist was: "No shit, Shirley." And my knee-jerk was, "Oh, so now that Shirley's made a shitload from babbling sweet nothings to Middle Americans dumb enough to take them seriously, now it's OK for him to come out."

I understand that coming out is a process (I didn't so much as kiss a boy till I was 22 and I die a little inside when I think of all the hot guys at NYU that I missed out on because I was a pussy with a paralyzing fear of myself -- it made me as good as the other kind of pussy to them). Still, Clay's reactions since 2003 (the earliest time on record that I could find and remember, in which he entertained the question of his sexuality) seemed to bespeak offense at the notion that he could possibly like dick. Like, how dare people think his faggy ass does what faggy asses do?!? Gay? What an insult! To shade in my point, here's a brief history of Clay's squirreliness. But it's, like, limp-wristed squirreliness, which is so not optimal for dealing with nuts...which, come to think of it, is probably the point.

Rolling Stone - July 2003

"One thing I've found of people in the public eye, either you're a womanizer or you've got to be gay. Since I'm neither of those, people are completely concerned about me."

People - September 2006

"What do you say (to that question)? … It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. … People are going to believe what they want."

Good Morning America - September 2006

[On coming out:] "That would not make any sense for me to do that. That doesn’t make any sense. I’ve gotten to a point now where I feel it’s kind of invasive. You know? You know what, forget it. It’s what I do in my private life is nobody’s business anymore. Period. You know? It’s one thing to try to be open and talk to people and try to share as much as I can, and of course I want to do that. But at some point, it becomes just really rude, you know?"

Newsweek - January 2008

"I'm not going to discuss it...I'm not going to discuss it...I think we're done...No, we're done. I thought NEWSWEEK would be more reputable. I'm surprised...[The Kelly Ripa "homophobic" incident] was a year ago. This is NEWSWEEK. It's not the National Enquirer. I'd hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people."

New York - January 2008

[On love] "I just don’t have an interest in...any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate. I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire...Ah think maybe I don’t [have needs]! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?"

Access Hollywood - April 2008

"People don't want to have that type of stuff pushed, people who are living in Omaha or in Charlotte or wherever. They don't want stuff like that pushed in their face. I don't think that's necessary and that's also not what I'm here for. I mean, I went on Idol to be a singer, I went on Idol to be an entertainer and that's what my priority is."

Like I said: it's a process and, certainly, one's road to self-acceptance is no one else's business...unless it's made public and paved with potholes for a segment of the population that's so much more important collectively than your adult-contemporary polluting ass. There's something very Auntie Tom about a willingly closeted man expressing disgust about being implicated in homosexuality or pretending that gay sex isn't something well worth singing about.

So yeah, fuck him, not that I would. Ever!

...Or, at least, that's what I initially thought. His full interview on the topic of his homosexuality made me like him a bit more, even though his selective memory (which is a nice way to say: his inability to stop lying) is distasteful even on this celebratory occasion: "...I've never intended to lie to anybody at all. The truth is, I didn't answer questions."

But then, I was thinking about it some more tonight (I've thought more about Clay Aiken in the past three days than in the preceding five years), and I realized that maybe this all played out for the very best. Had he been out going into American Idol (an he could have been -- he said he realized he was gay in college), he wouldn't have garnered the support needed to shoot him into megastardom. It just would have been impossible five years ago (it'd still be too difficult to attempt now, like, hello?). He wouldn't have nearly the amount of people loving him and affected by him today. And, because mere association can work wonders on curing homophobia, maybe this coming out will work as ground-level activism on the ignorant mindset of Middle America. It could have the Dubledore effect, which Entertainment Weekly's Mark Harris detailed in the most eloquent essay I've ever read about coming out:

"It's often said that if every gay person in the world were to turn purple overnight, homophobia would disappear: In other words, fewer people would be inclined to vilify other human beings if they woke up one day and discovered that they'd been aiming stones at their college roommate, their aunt, their grocer, or their grandson. Statistics bear this out: People who have a gay family member or friend have more enlightened attitudes about homosexuality than those who don't. What [J.K.] Rowling has done, brilliantly, is to turn Dumbledore purple. She didn't reveal his sexuality in order to unlock a new way of reading the books, or as a provocation. She simply told the world that a main character in the best-loved books of the last 10 years is homosexual, and asked her audience to contend with it — and with the fact that it shouldn't matter. And her choice to make a beloved professor-mentor gay in a world where gay teachers are still routinely slandered as malign influences was, I am certain, no accident."

And so, the adoring fans have a new gay person in their lives via the same old Clay. The resistence is palpable (Adam K. Raymond did this clever informal survey of message boards to see how fans are coping), but so is the acceptance. With his new platform and renewed attention, Clay can show the world that a single gay man can be a great father. This is perhaps the most important thing he'll ever do. In my mind, gay adoption is an issue more crucial than gay marriage, even, as it affects not only gay people but orphans, little babies and kids, whose miserable lives are denied the chance of improvement by selfish hypocrites who don't even understand their own religious beliefs (it boils my blood to hear John McCain, an absentee dad who cheated on his first [and, let's face it, probably second] wife, feign concern for the future of "the family"). Clay speaks about his child with more passion than he's ever put into a song. At last, it would seem, he's truly found his voice. For once, I look forward to hearing more of it.

Comments

[Deanna]

Eloquently put. I always look fwd to hearing your POV (long time reader of your blog).

[Kat]

Rich, I love you. Very well said, and I agree entirely (especially on the subject of gay adoption, this is something I've been thinking about as well for a while). I just hope that we're not overestimating these people and assuming they'll choose to accept homosexuality instead of letting their blood boil with disgust and cutting out anyone who doesn't fit into their notion of what being a good person is. They're rarely the logical types, which makes me fear that even if every gay person turned purple, they would just get angry for being deceived and stone that person even harder than anyone else.

But even if only some of the people out there gain compassion, it is a win for the side of human rights, and maybe things will get better in this country. We can only hope!

[Rebecca]

There's a Fandom Wank write-up for you. (If you don't occasionally read it, you should. It's like Oh No They Didn't for fandom.) (Also, you wrote "Dubledore" instead of "Dumbledore.")

[Melinda]

Very very well put!
Basically my same thoughts over the past couple of days, except I wouldn't have been able to articulate them nearly as well...

[ellen]

wow. great post, rich- haha i'm a little teary-eyed to be honest. . . that's what 3 hours of sleep will do to you i suppose. but really it is a very well written and informative article!

[Melinda]

Rich, I'd love to hear your take on the Kelly Ripa incident. She was in the wrong, but Clay really was being obnoxious that day.

[Mer]

Beautifully written.

[sarah]

incredibly articulate & so well-put.

[Noel]

It took me moving away from home and turning 20 before I came out and it is so interesting to hear others coming out stories. I too found it offensive how Clay would react at anyone hinting at his homosexuality. I can't wait to pick up the article and read more.

[BradOFarrell]

Great post. I also remember seeing Clay on TV denying it once. It was in college, in the commons area, with a guy I was kinda 'seeing', and it made me so mad to hear him say that when he was CLEARLY gay. I wasn't even 100% out at the time ('out to friends' etc) and I still had zero sympathy for him. In all the wacky sitcom moments pre-coming out, where I had to deny being gay, I never did it in such a way that was disgusted and dismissive. He wasn't just "not answering the question" nor was he being just being "outraged" by the question, he was being self-righteous, disgusted, and offended by the question. Which pisses me off. A lot. I mean, yeah you're right this is probably a good thing, but now I'm angry again thinking about what dick he is, haha.

[Cheryl]

Man oh man did I have a crush on Clay Aiken when he was on American Idol...the southern accent got me, the red hair and how he worked with special needs kids..*sigh*

It was then pointed out to me by just about everyone that he was gay. I thought.."ok, so he won't marry me but he's still as cute as a button". I can kind of understand not coming out while on the show but to use his son as the reason he can't lie anymore..meh. By waiting this long it's not like this was some huge bombshell or anything - it's a little cruel to his 'Claymates' who defended him for so many years.

[DLCS]

There's a difference between being defined as "The Gay (insert profession here)" and "The (insert profession here) who is gay."

The harder he fought against Label #1 in interviews and such, the more he opened himself up to analysis of his statements, the more defensive he got, and the circle continued.
So he finally took the Gordian Knot step of slicing through the rope, but honestly, you're right that the more in-tune and aware of America had this guy dinged from the moment he sang at his first audition.

There's a great line in "Bull Durham"--the world was made for those who are not cursed with self-awareness. Too true. This world was made for people who want the media to think for them, who want to vote for the "pretty" people, and who would probably stand in line for HOURS to audition for "OW! My Balls!"

Welcome to the Cursed Pit, Clay. Took you long enough.
And Goddess bless that baby. You've got a chance to change a LOT of people's minds. Use it well.

[Genevieve]

Just like everyone else said, excellent post.
I think to most of America it's a no duh announcement. But man, those Claymates were so in denial it's amazing. I've been reading their forums the past couple of days & you would think he died.
On the one hand I am disgusted by these religious right asses (well I always am actually) & don't care what they believe I'll just be happy when they all die & go to hell. But on the other hand I am glad that someone out there is like Clay & going thru this if just to have a few of them see gays are just like everyone else.
I wish everyone could just be gay for a few days & realize it's really nothing.

[Dollface]

Well put. I agree with your statement about gay adoption. Anyone who gets in the way of someone giving a child a home on the basis of the parent's sexuality...that's just ridiculous.

[lisas]

Oh Rich you hit it right on the head. Cursed are we, for Clay Aiken has become culturally relevant. I'm going to put some ashes on my head and shave off my eyebrows, because the end is nigh.

[lengli]

This is an outstanding article. Well done, Rich!

[Michael in DC]

Well put Rich.

[tt_marie]

Great write-up. Very thoughtful and well done. I have to say, though, that I have a lot of sympathy for Clay. Let's be honest - part of (most of?) his appeal to the masses was his straight-laced, wholesome public persona, and he was probably terrified that coming out publicly would ruin his career. That's a shitty position to be in. I don't really think that he sounds offended by the prospect of being labelled gay in those interviews, but more at the fact that he wanted to keep his personal life separate from his public life and the press was making it impossible. I feel for the guy. I hope he can relax a little now that it's out there.

[matt]

i kinda still don't want him on our team. even though we knew he was all along. still. can we have Ruben instead?

[Rachel/subpolka]

Well put.

"Still, Clay's reactions since 2003...seemed to bespeak offense at the notion that he could possibly like dick..."

You know, it's quite possible that he *was* deeply offended by the suggestion. A friend of mine was in denial about his sexuality for years and years, simply because his religion condemned homosexuality as a damnable offense. Clay was raised in the South in a Christian environment, if I recall correctly; on that basis, I'm willing to give him both the benefit of the doubt *and* credit for finally being true to himself at the risk of alienating hoardes of Christian music-loving(/Clay CD-buying) fangirls.

[archipelagic]

I love reading you, but the Middle America bashing gets to me. The "ignorant mindset of Middle America"? Middle America is huge, and it includes diverse urban centers like Chicago, St. Louis, Minneapolis, and Detroit. I know on the coasts you don't like to acknowledge those cities, but I've been all over the world and perhaps my two favorite cities are Fukuoka, Japan and Minneapolis. Plus, small-town liberals are about the awesomest people I've ever met. At least add a modifier, like "parts of Middle America".

[Miss Lisa]

There's probably just as much intolerance on the coasts as anywhere else. Just drive East from San Francisco for about 45 miles and you'll encounter a large share of homophobic individuals. Or just walk to the Mission District from the Castro...oh, never mind. I'm not going to get into it.

I'm glad Clay came out, despite all the denial over the years. Having a baby can really wake people up (in more ways than one). And growing up really Christian can surely fuck with your head, so it's probably a big step for him, even though nearly everyone knew his deal all along.

Man, last night there was Isis on ANTM, Clay's cover story, and Lindsay and Sam proclaiming their love. I feel like I'm living in the future and I like it (except for the GOP, which still sucks).

[rocksee]

Clay Aiken looks like my first blind date. I think he was gay too.

[scamps]

All I care is, does he play a good Sir Robin in Spamalot?

[Underneath]

Not a great post. Aiken refused to discuss his sexuality because he wasn't ready to, and that's up to the individual. People in the media bullying celebrities to come out sets a dangerous precedent--is that in any way acceptable with unfamous individuals whom we 'suspect' in the workplace, at school, etc? Aside from being rather dull gossip, it is also a terrible way for gay activists to try to make headway. Out gay men will have to accept that the only person they can 'control' with regards to coming out is themselves. Outing other people and trying to justify it for 'political reasons' is unethical. End of story.

Gay people need to get over the idea that artists who are gay exist to 'represent them' in various disciplines. They don't. They exist to be artists, and bad gay artists need to be dismissed--being 'out' means nothing if you have no talent. Aiken is a good singer who, like most good singers, chooses to sing conventional and dull material.

As for J.K. Rowling? The 'gay character' thing was PC and cowardly of her. PC because she wanted to get the kudos for being so 'brave' and 'open-minded' without actually putting something in the actual books to make the character gay--something that would have upset many a parent. Hence the cowardice--she didn't want to deal with negative publicity and declining sales, so she chose the safe route. And in terms of literature, declaring a character gay outside of the work is meaningless. If it's not in the work, it doesn't count.