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October 29, 2008



Thank you, thank you, thank you
that is all


I never understood the arguement against letting same sex couples to marry. It can't just be about "the population will come to a screetching halt" that's bull...lots of couples decide to not have children and others can't have children..so they shouldn't be allowed to marry either? bunk


I love that little kid. You keep doing what you're doing, Danny.

Floridians: Don't forget to vote no on 2.

Driver B

I adored Danny's 'give me what I deserve' at the very end of the video. So precious.

But that second clip blew my mind! I didn't know about that documentary. I adore Rev Prof Gomes. I am going to repost that clip every where I can. And I can't wait to vote NO on Prop 8 on Tuesday.


Oh god, I made the mistake of clicking on that bodybuilding site link. That's scary! Granted nobody has ever accused the stereotypical bodybuilder of being a compassionate intellectual type, but the brain drain going on at that site scares the hell out of me.

My boyfriend has lived the luckiest gay life ever, he's never experienced any first hand gay bashing, all his coworkers have accepted him without question (though his mom did send him to a shrink when he first came out, but now could care less), and he thinks I'm weird for getting really uncomfortable when he does public displays of affection. I should make him read that post just to show him that homophobia is alive and well.

How did you ever stumble across that site in the first place?


Spent my 10th night last night phone banking against Prop 8. 10 nights seems like a lot, but it doesn't feel like enough. I've had people try to convert me to their religion, claim my soul needed to be saved (As Nina Simone said to her Oakland audience after someone shouted 'I love you,' "But, Sir, you don't even know me."), accused me of spreading AIDS, and told me to shove it "in" my ass. I've also spoken to a "72 year old Queer" who came out when she was 31 and opponents of 8 who "want to go on record that they're straight." Like we keep that kind of record. I'm on track to surpass my personal goal of identifying 100 NO voters. Let's keep waging our quiet revolutions.

Dennis N.

What bothers me the most isn't the religious debate, the incessant need to tie religion with politics, or why the only female reverend in that video has a deeper voice than I do (let her be a WOMAN! You know that's not her natural voice). I'm most put off by the assumption that Danny is gay because he liked to lip-synch to Mariah Carey, or that he apologized for not making a "boy version." I'm straight. I hate football, downing beers, and objectifying women. So natch, I'm called "effeminate." What does that even mean? Most men love hanging out with me because they don't have to pretend to be interested in inane, arbitrarily-determined macho topics. They can BE THEMSELVES. Gay or straight, no one should feel embarrassed by what makes them who they are.


The same sex marriage issue was what finally drove me away from a Christian youth group I'd been involved with as a teenager for years. One of the counselors told me he believed in equal rights "but not special rights." I had no clue what that meant, and I still don't. It really upset me to hear a supposedly intelligent, caring person say something so stupid.


Homophobia is more insidious now than in when we were kids. The sides used to be clearly drawn. We used to have Anita Bryants and Jerry Falwells and that bully in school. Now even Obama voters in California are voting to make gays second class citizens. The gays here in New York are suddenly spooked. Really, California?

I am beginning to think that the main obstacle to equality, including gay marriage, is fatigue. We think its weird that progressive Californians would be against gay marriage, but I think they view gay equality as a series of straight concessions. Now they are tired and have had enough. I get the impression that they view it as an endless and tiresome conversation. "We're Queer, We're Here" now mutters "We're Queer, We're Still Here" and the straights say, "We know, we know...we heard already". They have to draw the line somewhere, so why not here.

I think that modern gays, for whom progress had become a clumsy and tedious inevitability, are surprised to learn that we're still in the business of drawing lines at all.


Rich, was this for Mombian's Write to Marry Day? It sounds like it...a bit.

Anyway, I remember when I was a kid I had no clue what some of my favorite songs were about--like, for example, TLC's "Red Light Special" and Xscape's "Softest Place on Earth." Those people need to lighten up on Danny--I'm sure that if Danny's parents told him not to sing "Touch My Body" I think it could be damaging to his psyche.


Hey Rich,

Thanks for bringing more attention to "For the Bible Tells Me So." It's one of the most important movies I've ever seen.

Have you ever seen the documentary "CAMP OUT"? If not, I highly, highly recommend it. It's about a Bible camp in the midwest for gay Christian teenagers, so it's basically the flip side of "Jesus Camp." Trust me when I say that you will be extremely entertained by these awkward gay teenagers. I've been reading your blog for quite some time now, and I think I've developed a good sense of what fascinates you. This is totally up your alley, and it's available on Netflix. It's also sorely lacking in YouTube clips, aside from the trailer. Something must be done!


Ah, the whole "special rights" thing. (Elizabeth, consider yourself very lucky that you didn't get to hear that lecture.)

What's so special about marrying the first tosspot who pays you any attention, discovering he or she is batshit crazy within two months of the wedding but then having a kid (or four) with the aforementioned tosspot knowing FULL WELL the children's lives are going to be hell also, cheating, lying, ending up in divorce court/on Dr. Phil, and generally degrading the institution of marriage? And THAT'S what's being threatened? Gack.

Getting married takes one day. Hell, it takes five minutes. BEING married is the whole point. You have to make your lives more meaningful than just that one day. And isn't that what it really boils down to? Being there, and true, for each other?
When did we forget about that bit?


I wish we were friends in real life. I hope that doesn't sound weird.


Reminds of the clipping my mom (lesbian) sent me from our local Boston paper when gay marriage went legal in Massachusetts:


I've read articles about gay/lesbian couples together 30, 40, 50 years. Those are the people that deserve to be married; not some knocked-up teenage couple or people who "stay together for the kids".


It really annoys me when religious nuts say that gay marriage will cause the downfall of society. Now, if that were true, wouldn't The Netherlands, Spain, and other countries who allow homosexual marriage have already fallen into the sea or whatever? Where's their proof of this downfall? It doesn't even make any sense. You don't want gays being promiscuous whores running around but you don't want us getting married and making a commitment? Insane.

Kevin Babbles

I'm terrified of Prop 8 passing. It's going to be a close one, and we need a lot of help.

I made a post on my blog about my opposition to Prop 8 and supporters, mainly members of the LDS church, have come out in force to debate. There are more than 50 responses, some bigoted, some actually intelligent, but they all demonstrate that they mean business. It seems the religious right might actually care more about gay marriage than even homosexuals, which is why it is important for everyone else to stick up for equality.

If you're in California, please support! And remember voting "no" actually means that you're voting "yes" to maintaining gay marriage. There are homophobic organizations actively calling gay-friendly people and hoping to confuse them to vote the wrong way.

Miss Lisa

Aaron: thanks for working so hard against Prop. 8. You are the man.

Thanks for posting the documentary clip Rich. That's a great one.


Thank you for this.

John R

Wow, I guess I haven't really reviewed those particular theological points in years. I'll watch that doc this week.

In other news, did you hear the big story this week?

Homosexual Scientists Isolate Gene for Christianity

Peter Gresser

Prop 8, Prop 2 in Florida, Prop 102 in my home state of Arizona... It's just maddening. Here, the pro-102 ads are impressive in their cognative dissonance. They tell stories of happily married couples, how they've raised their families, how wonderful their children are, and how lucky they are to be able to rely upon one another. And then end with a reminder that this is why we need to limit marriage in AZ to one man and one woman. See the gaping chasm between the two parts of that argument? Yeah, they don't either, and if the polls are to be believed, neither do a majority of Arizonan voters.

Every time the topic is mentioned on a local news website, many of the comment posts are thematically similar to what you see directed towards Danny Pacheco. Apparently, we gays are out to undermine just about everything in the universe, we're directly sent to Earth from Satan himself, we run counter to the Bible, no matter what the Bible actually says, and apparently steps need to be taken to rid the planet of us.

And so, of course, we get these measures on the ballot in hopes of making bigotry into constitutional law. Sadder still is the fact that with the exception of any Westboro Baptist shenanigans, you rarely see that bigotry portayed as a negative thing, around here. Instead, it's portrayed as the freedom of the reasonable people, voicing their reasonable choices, not letting those terrible judges interpret laws, like it's their job or something.

It's maddening, and I hope that logic will prevail. Until then, I'm with you you. I don't think I'll be able to shut up about it.


My favorite "take it to the abusrd" argument has always been these: O.K., you want to protect the sanctity of marriage by not allowing gays to marry. Fine. But if we're protecting marriage, we also need to prosecute adultery. Straight people cheating on their spouses will now go to jail.... Wait, what's your problem? We're protecting the sanctity, right? I think it might even say in the Bible somewhere that we get to stone you if you cheat on your spouse....

John R

@JC - excellent point!


Religious nuts also use the Bible/God as evidence for why women shouldn't want to work outside the home or strive to be a man's equal.


Some days I feel like my heterosexual friends think I am exaggerating about the homophobia that is around us all day. I get so frustrated and end up jumping on the defense. I find comfort in your words and enlightened knowing that this makes us stronger and we are part of something bigger than us. That same something will always win out over hate and ignorance.


I hate it when people use the Bible as a way to legitimize their ignorance and prejudice. It's mentioned something like 3,4 times in the entire bible which in my bible is close to 1400 pages. I'm thinking that it's maybe not what God wants us to be focusing our time and energy on.

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