It's OK to laugh at Frankie

 

"I haven't been this thoroughly entertained since Being Bobby Brown by a former crack addict. MAN DOWN! HOLLA!"

That was part of Fresh's message to me last week. If I wracked my brain to the point of putting my synapses in direct contact with crack smoke (I suppose by drilling open my skull), I couldn't think up a more ringing endorsement for anyone of this world. At the time of Fresh's email, I was familiar with Frankie, mostly through Fresh, but also because of this video and via an obsession harbored by my friend Clarence, who had a color-print-out (thus, suitably broke-down) shrine to Frankie at his work.

Still, I hadn't seen too much of her in action -- I stopped watching Keyshia Cole's BET reality show The Way It Is a few episodes into the first season. I never thought it was a bad show -- just a little earnest and maybe not trainwrecky enough (or trainwrecky in the right way) for my taste. Back then, Frankie was in jail and Keyshia's visit with the woman who gave her birth and then took herself away, was the climax of the season. Season 2, I guess, found Frankie sprung from the joint and attempting to assimilate back into society and her daughter's life. I'm about to buy the season on DVD and throw a marathon party for myself. See I finally got to see long-form Frankie via the first two episodes of the third (third!) season of The Way It Is, which premiered last week on BET. Her display (and that's the nicest word for it, trust) never falls short of iconic. This woman is a star.

A research note before I go into a few of the finer details of Frankie's persona: In preparation of this post I wanted to make sure I had my facts straight since I've only observed Frankie here and there. I'd obviously seen and heard the word "crackhead" applied to her, but I wasn't sure if it were true or just something that people said. Sometimes people say that about any erratic, husky voiced black person. It's the crazy old lady equivalent of "big black guy." And so, I decided to do some research. Within 30 seconds of this video, she says her last jail term (four years) came as a result of her "smoking like a broke stove. Crack. For real."

Fact checked. Blogger swooned.

Obviously, Frankie carries a lot of pain. At another time in the YouTube video I just linked to, she says that reconciling her negligent past with her current interactions with her daughter is "excruciating." I write this post not to piss in her crack pipe, but to carve out a silver lining for a woman who can appreciate it up close, as she still feels like she's high sometimes (also per that YouTube, of course). See, Frankie's tragedy gets chopped up and rearranged as comedy over the airwaves. And here's a breakdown of why I feel not icky at all about responding to it with delight:

• Because she's a fucking pain in the ass.

Past, present, future, whatever you have hanging over your head, a pain in the ass is a pain in the ass. I've yet to see Frankie fight a fight she didn't pick, and I've yet to see her justified in her picking. (And in about 42 minutes of original material, I've seen Frankie fight a lot.) In the third season's first episode, she seethes with jealousy over not being given the gigantic house that instead went to Keyshia's sister (and Frankie's birth daughter) Neffe and her three children. Fuck practicality, Frankie wants a house with unused rooms! The way she expresses this is key to her hilarity. Her rant includes such instantly classic quotes as:

"Y'all got a bad habit of making me feel fucked up!"

"I'mma say what I feel. You don't like it? Go in there and wash the dishes."

"I don't do that my my my my my. I don't sing no song! Go listen to the man that sings 'My My My My My.' You gon'...it's gonna get on your nerves after a while. My! My! My!"

I love the last the most, because she refers to Johnny Gill as "the man," much like a mother calls whatever variable guy that's in front of her and her child at the moment "the man," as in "Pay the man," or "Tell the man you're sorry for crapping on his jeans." It's as if she's imagining Johnny Gill at a bus stop or hawking ice cream or upholding a corporate agenda or some shit. Johnny Gill ain't about that. He just wants to let you know...you know?

Also, for the record, "My My My," has never gotten on my nerves, and I've been listening to that shit for 17 years.

I love a woman who can work pop-culture savvy into her belligerence. And that's the joy of Frankie in a nutshell: she's so petulant that thank god it comes out funny because otherwise she'd be insufferable. She really sells her insolence!

Take Episode 2's foremost example, when Frankie pitches a fit upon being invited to a day at the spa with Keyshia and her adopted mother, Yvonne, for whom Frankie rages with jealousy.

The expressive ground broken here includes:

"So what, I failed?" in reference to her daughters' upbringing. That's the spirit!

"And I need you to not hug me!" This one comes with an animated gif:

"I...don't...want...to be...on...no...phony...mess!"

I love this one because her delivery turns this into a minimalist suspense thriller. Every time I listen to it, I hang on her every word, wondering how it's going to turn out. Mary Higgins Clark, move over: Frankie is here.

• Because she is occasionally Florrie Fisher-esque

Another rant from the latter fight goes: "I don't want this life. I don't want nothin' but a Newport and maybe a beer every now--...I don't need it!"

I love how she cuts herself off of her own tangent. The ability to do that, my friends, is called a gift.

• Because she gives kids all the wrong ideas.

"You eat more spaghetti, you're gonna be a top model," she informs her grandchildren.

Unless they're aspiring to Tocarra (which is not unreasonable), the outcome of this advice will be the direct inverse of what she's selling these kids. Ha: stupid kids!

• Because her taste is stellar.

When Yvonne attempts to pry Frankie out of the house for a nice dinner, she finds that she is no match for Frankie's two primary interests at that time: watchin' horror movies and eating Popeye's chicken. Frankie doesn't keep it real as much as she probably likes to think she does (she's a little too deluded and selfish for that), but when she does, ooh wee, it's a fucking party. Tell me you wouldn't want to attend that shit!

• Because she's fucking funny.
  

Yeah, there's the occasional bit of this:

But so much of The Way It Is seems calculated to placate the mind: the arc of the second episode centered on Keyshia painting a room she was putting together for her dogs. As Tracie pointed out, the show was literally asking you to watch paint dry. Compare that to the entertainment factor of even the most benign Frankie quote ("Let me check my itinerary!"), and you see who's really running this shit. For this show to pass itself off as entertainment at all, Frankie's wild-card vibe is wholly necessary. Her family might not appreciate her and is probably justified in resenting this human thorn, but we viewers just wouldn't exist without her.

And that's beautiful in its frivolous, reality TV way. This show is getting the most use out of the life that Frankie fucked up with 20 years of destructive behavior. See, in the end, whether you're hanging on her every word in comedic anticipation, or hoping that this broken person can find happiness in mending, you're rooting for her. Watch that video I'm now referencing for the fourth time and tell me that you aren't touched between giggles. Watch the third episode premiere tonight and tell me you aren't in love.

May Frankie's journey and our entertainment last forever.

Man down! And it's over now.

(That's how we say goodbye in Frankiespeak. Learn it. Live by it.)

Comments

[Fresh]

You must love me!

[BabylonSista]

I've boycotted BET for years, but I find myself hip-mo-tized by this show. Frankie is that crackheaded cousin who fucks up family gatherings, but intensified times ten. Maybe the draw for me is that for all of her rage, she's ultimately impotent--she's gotten all of that destructiveness out of her system, and how she's merely colorfully annoying. It's easy to feel bad laughing at the old lady who rants and sings at nothing ("and it's over now..."), ut you're right--it's totally okay to laugh at her ass.

[SameDifference]

Fukk BET forevah...but I luv some keyshia...hella hot.

So, yeah, thanks Frankie!

[nija]

ive never been ashamed to laugh at frankie bc she is a mess. she is mentally 14 and cant take responsibility for her actions . . . she needs her own show bc keyshia gets in the way of the trainwreck that is her family

[John R]

Thanks for the new ringtones! Now I have to choose out of all of the sound bites which to use!

[Dennis N.]

I've never heard of this before and I'm so glad she's now in my life.

a) I love that her name is Frankie

b) "I knew she was gon' roast me like a Planters peanut."

c) "It's like playing Chess. And I don't even know how to play Chess. So I gotta learn."

You're not referring to the Armand Van Helden "My My My," are you? Is there another kind?

Make sure you watch the reunion show for Season 2, where Frankie shouts "TYRAMAIL" at intermittent moments when she wants to make a point.

[MiSL]

This is the best psychological evaluation I have ever read. Frankie is so wrong in so many ways, I'll be glad when she stops playing the victim. The only time I've seen her clam was season 1 when Keyshia visted her in jail, and the highlight for me was when she said "I have a show to do, they paying me $2000 to do a walk through at the club, I have to be there for you fans!" just all types of wrong.

[degamarie]

Thank you! I have been waiting for this moment. Sigh. There is nothing else to say but, "MAN DOWN!"

[Kitty]

OMG Rich you have me dying right now. LMAO!

Frankie is such a beautiful mess and if it weren't for her, no one would ever watch that show.

[DaintyBaby]

OMG I used to watch all the time and then i just stopped. Not becasue it wasnt entertaining but just because...Oh obviously i have to pick it back up. Frankie never ceases to amuse to.

[DaintyBaby]

*amuse me

[Lizzie]

I am with you on the "My My My" - I have the local R&B station on all day at work, so I hear that song at least once a day, 5 times a week and I still love it and sing along everytime.

[MYGoodness]

I absolutely love Frankie!

I love her assortment of wigs and weaves.

I love that she loves to hang out with her grand kids because they about the same maturity level.

I love that as an older woman she chooses to pop, lock and drop it for the camera in a blonde wig. (Youtube clip)

I love that she thinks teeth are optional.

Frankie's Glow... Bask in it.

[wally]

Rich, I trust you like you are my Messiah and although I have barely watched BET in my life I was excited to watch this tonight.

And all I can say, is you done did me wrong. Cause now I can see how Jennifer Hudson's family got killed last month. Disturbing shit.

[wally]

Just adding that I thought this would be comedic, but it hits WAY too close to home. Frankie isn't even funny to me. This is a far cry from Whitney Houston or even Sister Patterson. You see Frankie, and it's not a joke. Keyshia's sister is not a joke. None of this is a joke. This is just really sad. I can see them both getting killed any day now like J.Hud's family was. This is far more documentary than reality TV fare.

[Mese]

Rich, my momma says she got residual crack build up. She should know since she has been teaching crack babies for the last 20 years now. We laugh at it but it is her daily reality and she doesn't laugh at Frankie much, but I make up for it...

Frankie needs detox, maybe the master cleanse x 2000

[huhwhat]

Count me as one not riding the Frankie/Neffe/Keyshia hot ghetto ass mess train. Simply put, I'm just sick of the most negative images possible of black women being encouraged and packaged as entertainment. I'm just sick and fucking tired of it.

[Sarah]

Quiet, Frankie. We're talking. The ADULTS are talking.

[MissNee]

Rich,

I've loved Frankie the day I first laid eyes on her when she was doing a bid her bid on S1.

I live in Oakland and pray that I will one day run into her.

[Quanah]

Rich, I've been reading your Top Model recaps for years (it's a must for me). And, I want to add to Fresh's plea for you to please, please, pretttty please with cherries and sprinkles on top...do recaps of this show. I know you're a busy man, but it would make Winston so happy.

Code 10.

Man Down.

Holla.

[Lucy]

The best part of the interview is when she says the "good times" that they had together were the 9 months she carried her and didn't abort her. Oh my god, you know?

[Jools]

umm, did I miss something? What does this family have to do with Jennifer Hudson's family being slayed by a nutjob? That's not even funny.

[T-Beau]

Is she the african-american Jerri Blank?

[j.adia]

Thank you Jools. I was unable to make the connection between Jennifer Hudson's loss and this family. I thought I was slow but now I see I was not the only one. When I look at Frankie I see a woman who is afraid to change for some reason. I have laughed at Frankie at times, but in reality I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry that she is not able to let go of the past and try to make improvements for her future. I hate that this show is on tv even though it is many families' reality. And I hate that some people feel that it is appropriate to make associations between two completely different families' struggles.