fourfour's 44+ reasons to love 2008 (Part 3 - 24-15)

My heart goes on.

And in other news, beware of exploding bunnies.

Reason No. 24 - Because Frozen River almost made my heart stop

 

This teeny, tiny indie drama from first-time writer-director Courtney Hunt was shot for, like, pocket lint on what gives the appearance of a Fisher Price camera and its central character, Ray (via a soul-chapped performance from Melissa Leo), aspires only as much as the ability to purchase a double-wide for her family. And yet for all of its modest charm, Frozen River has a grandness about its execution (it's set in waaaay upstate New York, it's a greasy hair away from Rob Zombie-level white-trashsploitation) and theme, which mediates on the limits (and/or seeming limitlessness) of mothers' love. That's a subject we're genetically encoded to be able to relate to. Frozen River doesn't tug at your heartstrings, though -- it bundles them into a ball. As Ray finds herself involved in human trafficking to pay off that double wide, her situation grows increasingly desperate, leading up to a mid-movie series of events that all seem to be headed in the worst direction. Seriously, at one point I really thought that everybody (everybody!) was going to die. I won't elaborate because I don't want to deprive anyone of the sheer cinematic enjoyment this Sundance Grand Jury winner delivers. It was by far the most exciting action movie that wasn't actually an action movie that I saw all year.

23. Because Patricia Clarkson devastated in Vicky Cristina Barcelona

I thought VCB was simply beautiful. It served as a vague explanation of Woody Allen's whole leaving-his-wife-for-her-daughter thing (if Husbands and Wives attempted to answer how, 16 years later, this one tackled why). VCB is a wonderfully enjoyable film, hilarious at times (and, underdog-lover that I am, I get certain satisfaction from Penelope Cruz recent rash of brilliant performances after another after being written off as talentless for so long). But I mostly appreciate VCB as polemic. It's advocacy for finding your own path in love, for saying fuck society and not caring about looking ultimately, well, queer. "I can't leave him and I know that I never will. I can't. I'm too scared. The moment's passed," explains that message's counterpoint above. In this case, tragedy is comedy plus heartbreak.

22. Because I learned what "scene" means thanks to Stevie Ryan

My favorite fictional series on YouTube (Gabe & Max don't count, since they're really like that and nothing they do is fictional) this year came via the vlogger formerly (and still sometimes) known as Lil Loca and skewered scene kids in all their mushmouthed MySpaced and modified glory. I actually had no idea what using "scene" as an adjective could possibly imply when this series started coming through my YouTube subscriptions. Now that I do (it's basically the Hot Topic aesthetic gone cool and by cool I mean "cool"), I'm not sure if I'm better off but I know I'm more entertained.

Plus, the bitchy whorey stage-mom thing was the role Chris Crocker was born to play.

21. Because people talked about The Dark Knight so much that I didn't have to

 

Really, what else is there to say about this marvelously competent blockbuster? Besides Batman's funny larynx-in-a-grappling-hook way of talking, I mean. And then there was Maggie Gyllenhaal's utter lack of hotness (sorry, this is mean but she's just not good-looking enough to make a convincing rope for a Christian Bale-Aaron Eckhart tug of war, and her crappy acting did nothing to further justify her appearance in this movie). Oh, and what about the editing rape that totally left the Joker's escape from the interrogation room unexplained. How he went from here...

 

...to here...

 

...will forever remain a mystery. (Unless I'm just dumb and missing something. That's always a possibility.) Regardless, were it not for those three things, I would have ranked this higher. But you know, it's done pretty well even without my fawning. Amazing, I know.

20. Because Hellboy 2 was the best superhero movie of the year

Or, at least, it was the best-looking one...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Utterly Labyrinthine in its parade of bonkers creatures, this movie is pure imagination.

19. Because you'd never be able to tell by its website how amazing Trovata is

Seriously, my favorite clothing line EVER (if just for the time being) is helping me bridge the gap from play-adulthood to adulthood-adulthood. Not that you could tell by my T-shirts, but I'm increasingly more paranoid about stuff that's too young for me to wear, and Trovata's shirts are like an idiot's guide to sophistication. It doesn't mean looking like a science teacher, although that can be cute as is apparent in a few intensely plaid shirts of theirs that I've procured. I'm not going to show you because I want them all to myself.

18. Because it was Ne-Yo's Year

 

Just like a gentleman couldn't exist without regular dudes to best, so is Ne-Yo dependent on his inferior contemporaries in R&B. That's to say that his strength isn't in innovation but the perfection of existing styles with his uncanny sense of melody. Best songwriter in R&B today? I think so. His third and best album sports a killer five-song opening set, which gives way to a peek at what the album could have been -- "Why Does She Stay" is pure I'm-not-worthy shlock. It sounds like the work of a dude who can't distinguish between a gentleman and a pussy. Luckily, everywhere else Ne-Yo is precise to death.

17. Because Tyra Banks did that thing she does

I figure I need to stick her in here somewhere.

16. Because Céline Dion was fucking amazing

Assembling this video marked this time last year so vividly for me that I wonder if I'll always associate batshittedness with the week between Christmas and New Year's. I'm thinking probably and I'm also thinking that's a good thing. I had too much fun studying Céline between reading Carl Wilson's book and poring over hours of footage spread over two DVDs in her Live in Vegas set. That shit was like fireworks of hilarity, with me swooning and constantly yelling, "Yes! Yes!" at my TV. I don't take credit for that video, really: all I did was comb out the gems Céline provided. I now live in hope of again stumbling across material this rich.

The result to all this is genuine appreciation for Céline's personality -- I regard it with the reverence some reserve for her voice. (I feel it is important to point out that I initially typed that "I retard it..." Seems appropriate.) Now I know that I'll never not pay attention to what she has to say. For better or worse, I feel married to her.

15. Because cult seeds were planted all around

 

The Ruins, Hamlet 2 and Doomsday were three movies of '08 that didn't get the respect they deserved. That would have been frustrating if I weren't sure that their time is coming. Shit's gonna blow up like a bunny, mark my words.

 

I believe that because I have to.

We're one more day closer to No. 1. How are you still even able to breathe with all this fucking suspense?

Comments

[Brian]

The suspense IS killing me. I want to know what number one is. You'd think it would be obvious, but I have no ideas.

[BucktownSkinsFan]

He talked the cop who was assigned to watch him into beating him up (by asking him if he'd like to know which one of his dead cop friends was a coward). When the cop did, the Joker used a piece of the broken glass (from when Batman threw him against the mirror) to "kidnap" the cop and let him out.

You can kind of make out the shard in his hand when he demands his one phone call, and then in the later scenes, you can see the abducted cop with a bandage on his neck from where the shard was pressed against it.

[Liz]

I clicked the Trovata thinking it was talking about John Travolta, and I was looking forward to a hilariously serious website about his life accomplishments.

[Danielle]

The Celine Dion "= Fucking Everybody" had me laughing out loud at work while I'm pretending to work. HAHA.

[Cheryl]

I know you mentioned Tyra already but I'm hoping Sheena/your interview with Sheena rank high. That was the BEST....well that and the book that little girl drew for Winston =)

[duane]

You consistently rock my work Rich. And I loved Doomsday!

[Chicklet]

Thanks for mentioning Frozen River -- I get what you're saying about it veering close to trashsploitation, but at least it was an American entertainment project that's about poor people. (See also: The Wire; Wendy and Lucy.)

[Joe]

I can't. I cannot breathe! I liked Maggie G in Batman. I kinda think her womanly charms are lost on gay queers like us. But i suspect more than a few straighties would beg for a date or a pity lay. She's got a confidence to her and, you know, the whole Betty Boop vibe. I thought her acting was fine in Batman, way better than Katie. Hellboy 2 was phenomenal. What a hot film. Selma Blair - now there's a girl that's sexay. Scenable's mom is actually Tyra - "I am your role model and I do not look like that!" Yup, spot-on.

[Lolita Hazed]

OMG, what about Dark Knight's Mayor Mascara? Oh God, every time he came onscreen and bat those pretty little lashes, I wondered when would be the right time to ask him to go steady with me.

I honestly think that was the movie's BEST faux pas.

[Derek]

The scene not shown in Dark Knight is where Joker uses a piece of glass to kill that cop in the interogation room. You see him holding a shard of glass from when he gets his head slammed and the rest is left to your imagination.

Winston is #1!

[Lolita Hazed]

I personally think (and hope) Bikini Corrie will be #1. She's somewhere in that Top Ten of his.

[Janelle]

Liz: I was expecting a John Travolta website to pop up too! I was all prepared for the soundtrack to saturday night fever to start playing.

[Ian]

YAY! Trovata. I'm so glad someone else shares my secret love affair. I would bear the children of a pair of Trovata trousers.

[DLCS]

"Hellboy 2" was gorgeous. Fiance' and I saw it on the big screen (love me some Ron Perlman, check out "City of Lost Children" for one of his best performances) and everything was so beautifully artistic it makes me giddy with anticipation to see what Del Toro is doing with "The Hobbit."
Special mention of Doug Jones. (Abe Sapien, the Angel of Death, various other creepy characters) This guy is a stunning physical actor. I don't think the Faun in "Pan's Labyrinth" could have stood up to the material had it been CG, instead of a tall skinny guy in a suit. He gives the characters he inhabits such life, such beauty, SO much power to command the screen. Genius.

[Mike P]

Oh, if only you were into Trovata about a year and a half ago. Cycle 5 winner Nicole did a campaign for them and was all over their website. I didn't need even know they had a men's line, goin to check it out...

[Deon]

OMG! The Bunny. :'(

[Frankie]

Mama Mia for number one!

[Maria]

Vice magazine once had an article years ago which mentioned that once men hit 30, they should start looking like John Cassavetes in Rosemary's Baby. I think that is a good rule to follow.

[Margaret Rose]

As for The Dark Knight question? There were pieces of broken glass on the ledge of the viewing window thing, when the detective came at the Joker to beat him up, Mister J (not to be confused with the ANTM J) had the glass and forced him to open the door.

Simple?

[DQ]

I am still utterly amazed the 1) evil elf in Hellboy two is the ex lead singer from Bros and 2) Ron Perlman is 60+ and still rocking and action movie properly!

[AP]

Hey! Give some credit to Scene Kid co-creator Adam Scott Franklin! The man busted his ass making that series!

[corianderstem]

The biggest mystery scene in The Dark Knight is: what the hell happened after the Joker crashed the party and threw Rachel out the window, with Batman flying behind to rescue her?

Did The Joker just ... leave? Checked his watch and say "Well, gotta go"? Did he smash some heads and then take over the DJ booth and crank some tunes?

Most bizarre missing scene ever.

[Miranda]

scene kid love is my new favorite thing in the world

[Lucas]

But the bunny...

[Dandy Darkly]

Hellboy2 seriously amped up the production design. Better win some Oscars for it.