In a good way, you're stupid

In a shocking twist, being gay, gayness, gay as in happy, gay as in "gray" as spoken by someone with a speech impediment and gaymosexuality weren't mentioned in this week's episode of The Real World. At least, not explicitly. Implicitly is a different matter.

 

I feel like I was born to make gifs of this guy. Move over, Tyra -- there's a new muse in town!

So, here's where we come to the downside of a cast of mostly motivated young people who mostly invest themselves in getting along: the results can be kind of boring. The last half of this episode was a total chore to slog through (especially during the repeat viewing required for screen grabs and such). So I'm not gonna go too far into Katelynn's weird non-date with that guy who had to have known she was trans because come on. I also won't go into the possibility of her being a broom.

 

Although that would explain why she's so good at leaning against walls!

I do love, though, that they're fleshing out her character. My favorite prosocial bit of editing/highlighting of this episode was the portrayal of Katelynn's rather free sexuality.

 

 

 

 

I feel like a lesser show (or maybe just one airing in less enlightened times) would choose to portray Katelynn as a prisoner of her gender identity; instead, she seems to be a beneficiary of it. From the looks of it, her necessary introspection has helped her figure out exactly what she likes (that'd be everything) and how she's going to get it. I can't think of any greater pop-cultural example of a transgender woman being allowed to be the normal sexual being that she is. Pretty awesome.

Although, what the fuck is this relationship she has where she can't talk about the way she feels? Uh, as someone who had to place greater stock in what her gut was telling her than what her body was presenting, I can't imagine that situation remaining tolerable for much longer. Her identity sort of depends on expressing the way she feels, you know?

Shockingly, that's not Ryan's reaction to Katelynn or anything I just wrote (this show as filmed way before I could recap it -- true fact!). It's his reaction to Baya. Even though it was in response to her dancing up on Chet, it would have been appropriate for any number of Baya-centered situations throughout this episode. Ladies and gentlemen or however you think of yourself, I give you the united states of Baya...

 

 

 

 

 

I call the move above the videohoe. She did it after expressing her desire to dance in music videos. There are other moves part of a much greater dance, but you can't show them on TV. "Dance."

 

Here she totally reminds me of the Count on Sesame Street.

 

Did you know there are eight roommates, by the way? I was reminded of this fact when Katelynn was talking to her emotionally closed-off boyfriend. It's really endlessly interesting. Just think about it. As yourself, "Eight, huh?" Eight. Take a breath, ponder. It's the gift that keeps on giving as far as numerical facts go.

Oh, and I love Baya's desire to be a DJ.

 

I mean, what a story. Girl comes to New York and wants to be a D.J. She really needs to make that happen quickly before someone else has the same idea!

After all, in her words, everyone's a little charming when they play music. Especially Ryan.

 

Sometimes he looks like Ellen DeGeneres and sometimes he sings about the same things as Ani DiFranco. Things like tampons, for example. All I'm saying is he has "lesbian icon" written all over him.

 

You know? Also, in most other situations I'd bitch about his repetitiveness ("I served in Iraq...and wrote a song!" "I wrote a song...about Iraq!" "Your voice is like Iraq to my ears." "Let's play Iraqical chairs!"), except not this one because by serving in that fucking war, he's earned his angle. Seriously, exploit that shit as much as you can.

Also...

Erotica! Bromance! Sexiest moment of the season so far, y/y?

And how about that aborted flirtation with Baya thing? Getting sexual with Baya is the new auditioning for the Hip-Hop Dance Conservatory, in that it is in pursuit of an end that you think you want, but midway decide, "Hey, I'm on a show -- why put all my eggs in one basket or conservatory or vagina, as it were?"

 

At least, that's the official story. When the cameras aren't around, it's the horizontal Cabbage Patch 24/7.

 

And maybe a little of that, too.

And oh, I really hope that Ryan just keeps the music thing as a hobby. He's cute and sweet and I like when his legs are open and all, but I'm not sure if he's got much of a future with his samey songs. But, you know, go ahead and prove me wrong. Make me a liar...liar...liarrrrrrr!!!

At least, everything's still up in the air for Ryan and Baya. That's more than can be said for Devyn, who saw a chapter close in her Real World existence. And I'm not talking about the book Why Men Love Bitches.

 

No, it's her potential relationship with Scott that seems to have reached its end, though I can see how she got all confused about that, what with him slapping her with a chicken cutlet and all.

 

That chicken is so sexual.

But maybe if she weren't such a cheeseball, she would have had a fighting chance. Her BFFometer?

 

BFFin' embarrassing. And gross. So gross, I think I'm going to throw up. Hmmm, let me consult my Vomitometer.

I really need to get on the porcelain to drink more pineapple juice.

What else? What else? Despite seeming to have been jizzed on at one point...

 

...Chet was remarkably less gay this episode, both in affect (he flirted with a girl and everything and maybe made it sound like as a model she was in his league, which, HA!) and appearance.

 

Here, Chet, have a ReReHat:

 

I know it's already played out to Photoshop that on someone, but he was so bare-bones on this historic week that it seems rather fateful.

Next week, it looks like Sarah will get a shocking call from her past!

 

Of course, it's fielded by the second in line for the post of the Commander in Empathy, JD. It'll be interesting to see Sara defined not as a supporter/enabler of her castmates, but as an actual person. In the brief preview, we hear her say, "I did not think that this would be something I would have to deal with here." How much you wanna bet that her stalker is a bottle of Cepacol?

 

She may not want to face it, but god knows she needs it.

Comments

[fb]

that image of ryan humping that pole is oddly arousing,

but then again, i'm gay.

[lilu]

i have been waiting for this all day, since i read the recap on gawker.

[Bud]

Haven't watched the show at all, so perhaps it's different when you see the personalities, but just from the 1 picture here, Baya = Hannah?

[Jennifer]

Yess! I was thinking about your recap the entire time I was watching it!

[Bud]

whoops, link got lost:
http://img228.imageshack.us/my.php?image=hannabayaxy5.jpg

[Marcus Powers]

Pineapple juice. Ha.

[Gen]

Damn.

I just realized one of my friends, Carolyn, is exactly like Baya. Looks the same kinda crazy, acts the same kinda crazy. I'm shocked! Since I don't watch the show and only read your recaps, I wonder if Baya, like Carolyn, would also think Russia is a continent? (Thank God I was at a red light when my friend said this, because seriously, I would've had an accident from laughing too much. Not very nice, but come onnnnnnnn!)

[Sara]

Ugh such a boring fucking season so far! I don't watch this show to see boring people live boring lives. I watch this show for the drinking fucking and fighting!

I totally totally think that Katelynn's boyfriend is being distant because he's scared that now people know he's dating a transgendered girl.

I also think that Chet is going to either come out of the closet when' he's about 50.. or he'll just fuck guys on the downlow. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves the cock but just can't admit it to himself or anyone else.

I might start watching! Please MTV make them drink fuck and fight!

[k.]

The only reason I'm watching this show is because you're recapping it--thanks!!

[ANTMSP]

I cannot stop rolling on the floor with glee about that ryan GIF. you have out done yourself ms thang!

[Andrew]

Speaking of ANTM lookalikes...

Katelynn and Heather??????

[spazmo]

Ryan looks like *both* of the male dancers from Moby's "New York New York" video.

And was that the only shirtlessness from Scott, or are you holding out on us?
Bad Rich.
Great recap.

[Wholahay Brown]

I love you so much for recapping Real World this season. You're the awesomest

[Lindsay]

I love that you are doing these posts SO MUCH - your gifs get me through my darkest days. Really, the show would be best if it was a Ryan/Chet Bromance, as Devyn seems too dumb to function (no, getting slapped with meat cutlets is not cute, flirtatious, or indicative of future booty pumpin), JD is pissy, Scott seems to constantly have little cartoon birdies flying around his head, Sarah is a spokesperson for Ludens, and Katelynn is... well, Katelynn is confusing.

Did you catch some of the Real World picture posts on ontd? There are some GEMS of Chet, I'll tell you what.

[Tammi Littlenut]

Oh my god! Seeing that "BFF-O-Meter" scribbled in Devyn's notebook just unlocked some horrible, repressed memories from my childhood. When I was eleven, I had a "Popular-O-Meter" in my marble notebook that looked JUST like that: pink ink, crazy chicken scratch writing and all! The only real difference is that I cut out pictures of people from the yearbook and taped them by the corresponding social level, with my picture right above the kid who never talked and always wore the same gross camouflage pants every day.
Sad!

Anyway, I'm willing to bet that by the end of the season, Chet will get wasted on a wine cooler and end up trying to make out with JD.

[Stephanie]

Um this has nothing to do with this post, really, but I had a dream last night that the new cycle of ANTM was on, and I was SO HAPPY, because it meant new fourfour recaps! So of course, I called you, Rich, to express my glee. You were very sweet, so thanks for that! Of course, since you're doing Real World recaps, I'll have twice as much glee in the waking world.

[Sven]

Damn, but Devyn needs to lay off the pancake foundation. Girlfriend had it slathered on in that episode.

[that's Mrs. Nigel to you]

I agree w/ "K". Your re-caps give me the fuel I need to watch this boring season. Thanks!!

[sairus]

I could watch homeboy pole-humping all day, and I don't even know if it's a sexual thing.

There's something so captivating about it.

[HI,MITCHO!]

Vomitometer for the win!

despite being boring, this episode had plenty of rich nuggets for you, I cringed so hard when I saw that BFFometer

[Christine]

The COUNT! Totally...thank you.

[Christopher]

I was SO grossed out seeing Katelynn grinding up against that guy in the bar.

Not because she's transgendered or anything, just because of her complete and total lack of ANYTHING resembling rhythm.

[John]

Vomitometer. Best. Graphic. EVER!

[Verbal Cupcake]

I thought the "BFF-o-meter" was hilarious. I thought Devyn was just being silly, and it kind of cracked me up.

I love Sarah and think she needs more screen time. As for her upcoming "drama"--the clip they played before the actual end of the episode showed her telling the camera that she was a victim of sexual abuse by her father, and her father was the one calling her on the phone. Scary and awful. She seems like such a positive, empathetic person. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have this person suddenly reappear in your life. Just awful.

-Sarah F.

[kccody]

Oh Rich- You are the best! The Vomitomter is classic. Poor Katelyn, I think her BF back home wants to get out of their relationship.