Not quite

“Why you so obsessed with me?” is the question central to Mariah Carey's new event single, "Obsessed." And here I thought she existed to be an object of obsession! Isn't that why she's applied a thin but decided layer of the hitmaking Autotune to her voice here? Isn't that why she's created a "Blame It" retread that will nicely fold into radio playlists across formats because there's nothing at all sonically distinct about it? Certainly, you won't confuse "Obsessed" with catharsis -- as a dis record it is passive-aggressive at best. (I mean, "Why you so obsessed with me?" Seriously? You can't turn a question mark into a dagger no matter how you twist it.) This is just anonypop that's barely pointed because, dahling, Mimi's lounging and couldn't possibly be asked to lift a finger. She's too fabulous to get all common and actually explain what she's talking about.

I suppose there are good kinds of obsessions and bad kinds and good is the type that fuels your G-V and bad is the type that makes you feel sad or infringes on your chaste persona. Where you start drawing the line can be tricky, though. Ostensibly, "Obsessed" is an answer record to Eminem's recent "Bagpipes from Baghdad," a song too nonsensical and irrelevant to even get worked up over but whatever. (Sample Em lyric: "Nick Cannon better back the fuck up/ I'm not playin' / I want her back you punk / This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk.") Mariah should thank him. His ire gave her not just something to talk about and occupy her time (after all, aren't we all just looking for an activity?), but something to turn into a launchpad for a new album. She's obsessing about his obsession while giving pop fans something to obsess about. Cute, right?

Despite paling in comparison to almost anything on the hugely idiosyncratic E=MC² (the most Mariah of Mariah albums, thus my favorite), the Mariahisms abound. She'll do her till the day she dies, and doing her will primarily involve quoting Mean Girls, as she almost does in the spoken intro of "Obsessed." "And I was like, 'Why are you so obsessed with me?'" she says in Rachel McAdams' exact intonation. The line in the film actually begins, "And I'd be like..." but whatever. Precision has no place here. Mariah's disses are about as intimidating as Scrappy Doo's shadowboxing ("I'm the press conference / And you a conversation," or how 'bout, "Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex"?), thus hilarious. And if there's any pop singer who could work "Napoleon complex" into the chorus of a single, it's Mariah. At times like these, I get the feeling that she does it because she can.

There's a great track somewhere in here, but it feels sanitized. The horns sound when they should blare. An insistent piano line that should drive this thing only pops up at the end for a cameo. I wonder if this is Mariah refining The-Dream and Tricky's wilder sensibilities from a banging track to a Mimi showcase. What I love about Electrik Red's album is how far out Dream and Tricky's sound goes, but it's a lot easier to experiment with puppets than with people with actual imput (imput informed by a perpetual fear of diminished relevance). I now worry about the results of this album-long collaboration between them and Mariah (Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel). As for the Autotune: JESUS CHRIST POP SINGERS ENOUGH ALREADY. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE FOR REAL. ALL OF YOU. She does employ it more creatively than 99 percent of the people who use it (i.e. everyone) when she does this pre-chorus, "Oooohoooowooohooowaw," sounding like she's aiming to overload the computer. Again, though, she does this because she can. And that's exactly why she doesn't need Autotune -- that little curlicue would be just as impressive without it.

I'm increasingly awful at predicting hits (especially with Mariah, since I love her so much that I'm just so biased), but it's my sense that "Obsessed" will do exactly what it's supposed to and gain the love of the land. People seem to be enjoying it, if the Internet is any indication (it isn't). Despite its electronic nature and the fact that it almost feels like a second chance for E=MC²'s shoulda-been single "Migrate," the Mariah-liteness of it all harkens back to the refined The Emancipation of Mimi. This isn't the woman in the hilariously jiggly flesh, it's a projection of her all blown up and translucent for everyone's viewing pleasure. And given Mariah's obsessing over obsession, projection is such an appropriate motif.

Comments

[Kat]

I live for your album reviews! You make my day. I love that Mimi quoted Mean Girls, but at the same time I kinda hate it. And I forgot that her Hello Kitty obsession is probably the only one that rivals mine... hmm.

[S.]

Am I the only one who likes the early work of Mariah?

I don't know, but I find most artists are usually at their best when they're also at their craziest (i.e. Britney - Blackout, Amy Winehouse - everything she does).

[Sarah]

I almost fell asleep at the keyboard while listening to that song. I put migrate on to wake myself up ;)

[RD]

S., you're not alone. I think every third Mariah comment on ONTD is about people liking Mariah's early Columbia stuff as opposed to the stuff she's putting out now.

I was extremely disappointed with this song for all the above reasons you stated, Rich, especially the Autotune. I think it's high time for everyone to stop using it, even T-Pain.

[Lauren Kleiman]

She's looking extremely retouched. Her belly button is just freakish! I don't think it takes a professional to notice, either, wow. She even has shadows of her hair and there's no hair there to create the shadow...WTF! If people are hiring retouchers to do crap like THIS, I should be able to be hired in no time.

[I I were an artist doobidoobidoobiduu]

It amazes me that you of all people Rich fall into the extremely fake "why can't she do real music" when people on the other hand only seem to aqppreciate Mariah succes and records. You should know (as she obviously does) that good music, real music, deep music, honest music don't sell shit. So she knows how to swim in the industry waters and still use her personality to some degree? that's a miracle not a stain in her (on the other hand) monstruously mainstream and business wise career. If you were looking for that honest profound music you should look in another direction, to real alternative, ignored by capitalist dumbass buyers, artists...

[JOn]

Doesn't she say some shit about George Foreman?

[Mouchois Melvin]

I may be the only one on this... But are her boobs like... Ridiculously large?

[Boobie]

Top 11 reasons why I hate this song: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/christopher.tod?ref=profile

But I promise I'm still a huge fan.

[Jason]

I'm surprised you didn't at least mention the hilarious backing line, "He's all up in my George Forman."

I'm fine with the production and even the auto-tune since, as you said, it's used effectively. What I miss most is a classic melodic line like we know she can deliver.

[s2couto]

Miss Carey, baaaabe-aaaay. Love her, love her ridiculousness, love OBSESSED, want to be her for Halloween, etc.

[Jason]

After all of these years, why are people still wanting/expecting her to go back to her "Columbia days?" It's been over a decade, people! Let it go...

[David H]

I feel like you blogged about this way too soon -- you should have immersed in it for a good 20 or so listens. Or maybe after one of Mariah's trademark Hello Kitty-scented bubblebaths.

The song is bonkers.

The saavy simplicity of the Tricky/Dream production gets better with repeated listens.

It seems so obvious that Mariah would exploit Eminem's tired fantasy feud for pop brilliance (and blog world relevance), but I wasn't prepared for her *on point* lyrics. Love the Windex ref. Love the 'all my ladies sing/all my girls sing', etc. She chocks it full of enough little Mariahisms that if you're not feeling one, another one's right on the way.

And everybody needs to get off the autotune thing. It's only moderately exploited here and I like her twist on it.

I'm so glad Mariah left the Don't Wanna Cry World-era behind. She's mining current trends in pop and R&B, whipping 'em up, throwing a rapper of the moment on the intro/outro, and staying relevant in the game. Compare this to Madonna who looks tired, creepy and gross doing the same thing. (Not to mention her late-to-the-game producer snatching... Pharell? Wasn't she about 8 years late to that party?). Mimz makes it all look easy.

I totally agree with you about e=mc2. Loved it more than Mimi 1.

[LoveMyselfFirst]

Just watched PotPsych and realized I needed to come over here to see if you had mentioned Obsessed and of course you didn't disappoint.

The only thing that threw me off about this song was the use of Autotune, which I hope will die a timely death within the next 3-6 months.

Otherwise, this is a very Mariah-ish song and I loves it!

And although I still love EOC more than E=MC2, they are both my two favorites, well along with Butterfly and Glitter. I wish people (not you Rich) would stop expecting her to be all Vision of Love-y. I mean it's not 1990. If she kept doing that schmaltzy stuff she'd be irrelevant like Celine Dion.

Love my R&B Mariah and her Mariah-isms. I think Obsessed will grow on you, even though it does sound like a bootleg Migrate retread. Hey, it is what it is - since Migrate wasn't released, she has an excuse to try to recapture that moment.

[Andrew]

It's just a song guys. I think Mariah takes time to be honest and serious and then she takes time to be silly. I think this song is an image of her creative/silly side because she, like everyone in the world, has to deal with obsessive/sick people that need help. There's no need to over-analyze something that was meant for enjoyment and to just play along with. I'm sure Mariah intends for her music to impact her real fans, friends, and herself. Peace.

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