I'm amused by James Pants & Dâm Funk's Chart-Toppers mix in ways I'm not accustomed to. Yeah, it's a nice rare-groove assemblage of boogie and house, but it's also fucking hilarious. The name itself is a piss-take -- these songs weren't Chart Toppers. They're by no-hit wonders (Charles Earland is probably the biggest name here, and if you're saying, "Who?" to yourself right now, join the club) and were clearly left for crate death. And with good reason, too: some of them are so awful-sounding (like, sub-karaoke-machine production standards) that it's amazing they saw the light of day in the first place. The vocals echo to the point of sounding humanoid, the lyrics are virtual nonsense ("I believe in equal love opportunities"), the tracks plod and replicate (you can almost play a game guessing which more established songs these are trying to rip-off, and often failing at doing) and it all has infinitely more character than virtually any DJ mix you'll hear this year. My only complaint is that the cuts are so quick, especially during the first and slower half of the mix. Sometimes you need to really soak in it to get the full effect of crap, you know?
Anyway, my favorite ha-ha tracks are Silk, Satin and Lace's "Always", which I think features a 7-year-old, and Emerson's "Sending all my Love Out," which sounds like it was recorded for some pocket lint. Ah, early house. Anyway, you can but this mix via Pants' MySpace. I can't recommend it enough. I mean, if calling it garbage and mocking it isn't a ringing endorsement coming from me, nothing is.
Oh, there's also this weird shit, which I had listed as my hero above left before the mouse playing the french horn replaced it. It bears repeating (and repeating and repeating):
I love it, and I'm still so confused by everything about it. What decade is it from? (The YouTube info says it's a 2009 release, but that can't be right! Can it?) What region? What planet? Maybe I love it because I'm so consued by everything about it?
Hi Rich, sorry this question is completely unrelated to this post! I saw your banner now references 4/4 time and that reminded me of something I've been wanting to ask you for a while.
I've noticed that you've referenced a few times that there's a current obsession with 4/4 time in dance music. You tend to toss it in there as almost an aside, but very few popular music critics ever mention music theory.
I don't follow dance music, like, at all. But I did play various instruments over the years and can still more or less read sheet music. So here's my question. Isn't most popular (/dance) music in 4/4 time? When, if ever, did dance music stray away from this? I guess I can see some more adventuresome techo mixes playing with time signatures, swapping them here and there or doing something mad like 9/8, but that strikes me as something that would be rare.
But again, I don't know anything about dance music. So please enlighten me, I'm genuinely curious. I've always held that most mainstream music is in 4/4, but I am definitely open to expanding my worldview on this one.
Many thanks!
Posted by: Suzannah | July 28, 2009 at 10:38 PM
Damn. That video is just bizarre.
Posted by: Laynie | July 28, 2009 at 11:15 PM
I'm pretty sure I heard that song on Z100 last week, and I thought to myself, WHAT? WHAT IS THIS?!
Posted by: misti | July 28, 2009 at 11:24 PM
Wow, I went youtube hopping starting at that video and ended up with this (which I think you may appreciate!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJOBleQTUVQ
Youtube can be a very scary place.
Posted by: Isa | July 29, 2009 at 04:32 PM
lsa, is that Kim Kardashian on the bed, in the back left of that youtube video?
Posted by: dukiebiddle | July 30, 2009 at 12:37 AM
@Suzannah: Most mainstream music is indeed in 4/4 time. I'm sure Rich himself can clarify, but I think when he uses the term he really means "four on the floor," which is a different thing.
Posted by: MH Lo | July 30, 2009 at 01:35 AM
You wanna talk about Weird Shit. I've got your Weird Shit. For starters, is this a male, female, or combo? I'm dead serious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMzS7GEYWA4
Posted by: ChikoChevere | August 02, 2009 at 11:47 AM
THAT VIDEO WTF
Posted by: N | August 02, 2009 at 05:37 PM
That song was made by a Polynesian cargo cult in 1992. A plane dropped a box containing 3 C-list Doo Wop 45s and an obscure Orange "Juice" Jones-knock off singer's demo cassette. The cassette featured Gus, the singer's younger brother, guest-rapping.
Posted by: John R | August 05, 2009 at 02:58 AM
Ah! I see that James Pants is Stones Throw-related. That makes sense - it's ironic! They do ironic pretty well though - they used to re-release strange (and sometimes really dope) gym class records from the 70s, etc. on 45.
Posted by: John R | August 05, 2009 at 03:13 AM
Youtube can be too much sometimes but it doesnt stop me from watching. I believe that might be 3/4 of the definition of addiction
Posted by: Jessie | August 06, 2009 at 02:52 PM
Reminds me of this. Pure majesty.
Posted by: Becca | August 12, 2009 at 02:16 AM
Isa, that video is the gift that keeps on giving! Whoa! So much entertainment!
Posted by: Saul | August 16, 2009 at 08:22 PM
Very sensitive music. I cant believe this punks did it.
Posted by: naked celebrities | November 16, 2009 at 12:37 PM
Thank you for introducing me the wonderful information.And .....Totally boring.!
Posted by: Health News | March 10, 2011 at 06:39 AM