Paris, not brilliance

The biggest revelation contained in last night's airing of Paris, Not France on MTV? Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell never wears the same outfit twice in public. Otherwise, it was 62-minutes of hand-held vanity with an alternating aspect ratio, as if to signal that what we were watching was constantly distorted (and since this was done with Paris' obvious permission, you bet your night-visioned ass it was distorted). Shot in 2006, it was also irrelevant -- a recent challenge on Paris Hilton's My New BFF, in which her potential besties ran a prison-yard obstacle course in high heels has more to do with her present reality than this film. What a waste, what a stupid waste. But then, of course it was.

A documentary made within the past year on Paris might have been illuminating, since she's been humbled by prison and a decrease in interest (you can only be adored for nothing for so long). She's slightly more likable now that she's received as the joke she always was. The Paris in the film is a Paris that I never had interest in: no hasbeendom was in sight, little-to-no self-aware sense of humor was detectable. The Paris of 2006 maybe wasn't a blind star, but she did have a sort of celebrity glaucoma that impeded her perspective. To wit, Paris in Not France is bursting with contradictions. Among them:

- She complains about the press running her through the mud, but admits that she's addicted to reading it.

- She talks about the importance of being humble, but then refers to a gaggle of squealing Japanese admirers as "worshiping" her.

- She talks about how real she is ("I knew what I wanted to do and it didn’t involve learning much of anything, except to be myself"), but also says that people are surprised to hear her speak in her actual voice, sans the trademark baby coo.

- She's very defensive about having not been giving anything and working to pay for her house and her cars, but obviously she was given a primed-for-fame birthright. And really, I know that she is always busy, doing...stuff, but modeling and attending parties and appearing on reality TV and attaching your name to hair extensions and perfume and whatever seems like as close to a free ride as you can get. It's not like she's built an "empire" (so much for humility) off manual labor.

- Proof that her public life is built on contradiction lies in this direct quote: "I also don’t want people thinking I’m this blonde, heiress whatever airhead, but that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money by doing that."

- And this one: “I just want to be happy and, I don’t know, find out who I am. I know who I am but I really don’t."

- And also this one: "I’m always on camera. It’s hard to really be your total self.”

She seems to be unaware of the irony of saying the last item on camera, or how futile that makes the entire exercise of the supposedly revealing Paris, Not France, or how the quote above that makes Paris Hilton an unreliable narrator for a film about Paris Hilton anyway. I understand that contradiction is an extremely human quality, and we're all existing in some sort of flux at any given time, but the Paris in Not France is only existing in that state and thus is ultimately intangible. You get the sense that the doc is supposed to show her as down-to-earth, which is a big problem for someone who can't or won't be pinned down. Adria Petty's film is littered with odd camera angles, random flashes from color to light, jumpy transitions and (as mentioned above), a shifting aspect ratio. It's a whole bunch of nonsense to veil a complete lack of substance. It's a fitting portrait, but that doesn't make it worth looking at.

Comments

[sara]

Now, I heard that this was an edited version of what was originally a rather (more?) unflattering film. Anyone heard anything similar? Is that why it took 3 years to be released?

[sassy fontaine]

i've noticed that all the coverage that this "film" is getting - there are no interviews with the people who made the film like the director, producer, the editor, etc... wonder why? hmmm...

[sean]

No celebrity makes sense. There's always something fake (boobs, voice, talent, reported age, etc) underpinning the image. It's the audience that's fucked.

[kccody]

I saw this was on last pm and decided I had better things to do with my time than watch it. I do wonder though what Paris will be doing in 10 years....

[katie]

I also just find it really funny now it must have ether been on right before or after paris hilton's my new bff.

did you see that by the way? so boring. and kinda intense.

[kathotdog]

The film makers initally wanted to use the title "Paris is Burning 2: The STD Years" but the original film didn't want to have anything to do with her.

[capitalist lobotomy]

Rich why waste so many words and talent (you do have) on such a vacuous and boring subject?

[Joe]

I blame Madonna and her Truth Or Dare. She started it. But then, she did it better - the humorless sense of over-importance, the the gargantuan lack of self-awareness, the talking to a camera about how weird it is to always be on camera. Somehow, it was funny when she did it. I'll be genuinly surprised if Paris doesn't end up a thrice married drag queen pageant judge by the time she's 50.

[jeremy]

I can't have a boy for a bff. WTF? Poor, poor Stephen.

[raymi]

i can't wait til it airs in canaanananada

[spazmo]

I think "celebrity glaucoma" is an outstanding turn of a phrase, Rich.

Unfortunately, its metaphoric nature will be lost on the producers of VH1's inevitable new series Celebrity Glaucoma!.
(OTOH, watching Jeff Conaway stumble around bumping into things never gets old.)

[Dani]

Rich, I wrote a little retort yesterday to your review, because I don't think yours is very fair. Specifically the parts about Paris' contradictions (I disagree that she is always living in a "flux" state- she is human) and the Japanese fans:

http://thesponge-dani.blogspot.com/2009/07/paris-not-france.html

The only thing that really bothered me throughout the whole documentary was that I kept going back to thinking "why did she make this documentary?" - and why it was released only now. There was something nudging me the whole time, that maybe this whole documentary is a bit of an act to change her "brand"- and that all the "real" parts are also acting. But in the end I decided to trust my intuition, and I really did feel like she was being genuine (or what is genuine for her) in lots of parts. Sure the documentary may have some ulterior motives, but I didn't see it all as acting. It's a bold move for you to call someone out as pure phony, and I just don't think it's fair. There's no such thing as pure 100% phony empty person.

[Dani]

Also, it gave me the chills in the end when her "disaster agent" or whatever the hell he's called said something like (paraphrasing), "This is all you, you have caused this" to the camera aka audience- "All of this, the paparazzi, the celebrities, Paris wouldn't be here if you didn't obsessively hunger for the idea of stardom" etc. That put me right in my place, because I DO fucking obsess over it and see fame as this glitzy glamorous higher state of being. It's sick, but it's true. I know it's not a new sentiment, but the way he said it was pretty intense and rang more true than usual.

[matthew]

YAYYY TEAM STEPHANIE!!! STE-PHA-NIE RULES!!! SHE KICKED THAT LITTLE SOCCERMOM NAMED STEPHEN'S ASS!! TEAM STEEEPHANIEEE!!!

[Health News]

Thank you for introducing me the wonderful information.And .....Totally boring.!

[christmas tree]

Thanks Mary! I remember that night like yesterday when they were all sitting in the dark with flashlights. Some how our kids turned out okay! Hahaha!

[china ride on]

A whole bunch of stores have already started with the Christmas displays here, too. What's up with that?

[pedal karts supplier]

There should be a middle ground somewhere, Alysa, between the crass commercialism we have in this country and the tight-assed ninnyness of the French - except for those in the North, of course. Carnaval looks to be similar to Fasching in Germany. Drink and be merry.