Last week, I helped DJ the Sweet 16 party of Maryssa, the half-sister of my friend Morgan Geist. Morgan is a techno/disco/new-wave producer and reluctant (albeit continuously employed) DJ with almost no knowledge of the Top 40 stuff that the kids are into (and what he does know he tends to loathe). I, on the other hand, have the taste of a teenager. Proudly! So, along with our friend Dan Selzer, a formidable DJ in his own right, we played for these kids in Northern New Jersey for about four hours. I had the time of my life, and it wasn't just because of the wall-to-wall dirty dancing.
The video below is my document of the event. More details on the experience are below that.
At times, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dozing off in front of Cinemax. But even when they weren't grinding, the kids were almost uniformly hilarious. A general rule of mainstream DJing is that you play for the females, because their dancing will coerce the guys into dancing. That wasn't the case here: guys dominated the floor all night, gladly dancing with each other even when there were no girls in sight, as though they were raised in some fundamentalist, sex-segregated state. Daft Punk's "One More Time" was the sausage-fest that it should always be. We kept the set super poppy and mainstream, though there were several requests for "techno." I don't think they really wanted what Morgan could unleash. I wanted to be like, "Do you know who you're talking to?" But then, I didn't have to ask.
They're so random, too! They were fine with some old-school stuff like Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock's "It Takes Two," but when Dan dropped Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P." the birthday girl came over to the turntables flailing her arms, saying, "I love you guys, but next song! Next song!" I asked Maryssa why she had such an adverse reaction to "O.P.P." and the long and short of it is that it's passé. Dan quelled the hysteria via "The Cha Cha Slide." How that's cooler than "O.P.P." will forever be lost on me.
My favorite request of the night came from some sweaty kid, who between heavy, aerobic breaths, wheezed at me, "Taylor. Swift. Now." I couldn't help him out. Another kid came up while Stardust's "Music Sounds Better With You" was playing, mimed shooting himself in the head and said, "Bad song! Bad song!" I guess it wasn't techno enough for him. When Dan played Missy Elliott's "We Run This," a kid came up and asked for "Jump On It." He was referring to the Sugarhill Gang's "Apache," but I didn't know what he meant at first and when I asked him who the performer was, he said, "MC Hammer?" I get the feeling that to these kids, any hip-hop before 1990 was performed by MC Hammer.
I haven't DJed in so long, but this by far the easiest gig of my life. Once the kids were on their feet, they would dance to anything (albeit weirdly -- slow dancing to "Groove Is in the Heart," anyone?). We went from the frenetic Crookers remix of Kid Cudi's "Day 'n' Nite" to the tempered booming of Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" to the midtempo "Best I Ever Had" by Drake and despite the tempo decrease and stylistic changes, we lost zero bodies. (Though again, I thought it was weird that they slow danced to "Best I Ever Had.") I got the feeling that the night was just nonstop joy for them, and that was contagious to me. It wasn't even a nostalgia thing, as much as those types of events defined my teenage years. It was actually just nice to enjoy a party like this with my current perspective that finds me perpetually amused by human behavior. It occurred to me that if youth is wasted on the young, we elders just need to figure out a way to siphon it off, that's all.
Thank you for this. Really. I'm from South Florida, aka "the New Jersey of the South," and this brought back memories. I think this should be your profession.
Posted by: Dru | July 24, 2009 at 01:06 PM
P.S. Does "first" count if it's not an ANTM recap?
Posted by: Dru | July 24, 2009 at 01:06 PM
Hahah, I love doing the Cha Cha Slide. I have good memories of doing it during karaoke night while overseas.
Good to see that teen dance moves haven't changed. I seem to recall vividly doing those same awkward moves trying to be all sexy like while drunk. Pathetic, I know.
And since when did birthday cakes start looking like wedding cakes!?
Posted by: gi_janearng | July 24, 2009 at 01:10 PM
Wow. That was practically my debut when I was 18. Similar music too. Man. That brings back memories.
Posted by: Dio | July 24, 2009 at 01:35 PM
Another kid came up while Stardust's "Music Sounds Better With You" was playing, mimed shooting himself in the head and said, "Bad song! Bad song!"
hilarious!!!! and it is totally a great song too. he'll learn soon enough.
Posted by: Merideth | July 24, 2009 at 01:55 PM
ever thought of a side career dj'ing sweet 16s and bar mitzvahs?
Posted by: j | July 24, 2009 at 02:04 PM
The Cha-Cha Slide was played at my cousin's wedding a few weeks ago (he's 22, same age as me)
Posted by: Rebecca | July 24, 2009 at 02:33 PM
My Senior Dinner Dance this year was a lot like this. The DJ was PHENOMENAL and everyone was dancing, all the time.
I'm sure this was even better! Totally jealous of these kids.
Posted by: Lolita Hazed | July 24, 2009 at 02:52 PM
'Music Sounds Better with you' and 'One More Time'...man that takes me back (and makes me feel old).
Posted by: Cheryl | July 24, 2009 at 03:00 PM
Wow, wow, wow! Thanks for the siphon..
Posted by: currylingus | July 24, 2009 at 03:17 PM
It's particularly funny with the mute button on too. Give it a try. (No offense to the DJing, which I'm sure is awesome, but I can't turn the sound on or my boss will bust me, so I revel in the silent version.)
Posted by: Vicki | July 24, 2009 at 03:59 PM
I recently witnessed a dance at a summer camp (teenaged campers) where I learned that kids these days no longer dance face-to-face, and the camp had instituted a new rule for dancing: no female dancing with a boy is allowed to bend at more than a 45 degree angle.
Posted by: Sarah | July 24, 2009 at 04:20 PM
Lil Wayne makes the kids so happy. Look at 'em jump, shout and grind. Guess how old I am by the presents I got for my 16th: a pink-and-white striped tube top, Pink Floyd's "The Wall," and two perfectly rolled joints. Thanks for thinking of me, classy party guests!
Posted by: Miss Lisa | July 24, 2009 at 04:24 PM
what is the song around 1:03??
Posted by: aimee | July 24, 2009 at 05:51 PM
This generation's version of "Dirty Dancing" is miming doggie style? Boys don't want a touch of boob anymore? Interesting.
Posted by: Joanie | July 24, 2009 at 07:23 PM
My first and only DJ gig was at my boyfriend's sister's wedding, and I basically just played pop music from an ipod amplified TERRIBLY. But similarily joyful. Man, getting the party moving is the best feeling.
Posted by: bex | July 24, 2009 at 07:29 PM
That video just made my day. I can't even pick a favorite part between the girl with the broken ankle, blue-dress girl, the sausage fests and the bro flex-off...just amazing.
Posted by: K | July 24, 2009 at 09:33 PM
If I ever have kids, when they get to that age, I hope to God that doggy style dancing becomes their new passé. That shit made uncomfortable, in a gut busting sort of way.
And they're crazy about O.P.P. That song still pops into the soundtrack in my head, like, all the time.
Posted by: dukiebiddle | July 24, 2009 at 10:03 PM
It's so funny reading your observations on this because it's a realm that is so familiar to me as a teenager myself. I can hardly say that my "sweet 16" looked anything like this (I avoided having any sort of celebration because I didn't want people to know how old I was...heh), but the video definitely reminds me of the other dances I've been to. My favorite bit is the girl with the cast grinding up against some guy at around 22 seconds. Now there's a real trooper!
Posted by: GMF | July 25, 2009 at 12:48 AM
That may be the largest gathering of dudes in wife beaters I've seen in a LONG time.
Posted by: Lisa | July 25, 2009 at 02:44 AM
wow. rich, i've loved you longtime and also loved the geist for at least as long. had no idea you two were in any kind of cahoots together. what a dream fantasy love boat for me. keep on rockin in the free world and i hope to one day convert to judaism so you can perform at my bat mitzvah. thank you sooo much for sharing & reaffirming what a beautiful small world this is.
Posted by: LittleBee | July 25, 2009 at 04:50 AM
Aimee- Apache (Jump On It)- Sugarhill Gang at 1.03
I love the make-out session to Birthday Sex- So glad that song made it in there. It is also the perfect prelude to the rhythmic stand-up thrust n' sway of Shawty Get Low.
amazing.
Posted by: erin | July 25, 2009 at 08:22 AM
You. Know. Morgan. Geist. So jealous.
Posted by: RD | July 25, 2009 at 09:10 AM
I love how I checked Facebook to find this before I actually came to FourFour, and I also love how I'm listening to "Soft Hoop" on my laptop, all as I'm reading this. That looks like any backyard barbecue I've ever had growing up...
Posted by: Tony Ratliff | July 25, 2009 at 10:37 AM
i really got a laugh out of that video. takes me back to the high school dances.
Posted by: Julia | July 25, 2009 at 12:02 PM