I was so let down when I first heard that a GI Joe movie was coming into play.
Then I had some sort of hope that it would be mildly amusing.
Then all those hopes were flushed away when I found that it was a giant toy advertisement with B rate actors straight from the set of some made for Sci-Fi (or should I say Sy-Fy?) movie. BAH
He could be cute in that Cro-Magnon Neanderthal sort of way, but even then he'd still need to be hairy and by the looks of that link, he looks more like a resident of Chelsea or Hell's kitchen.
I haven't seen the movie yet, but I want to watch it because of one reason and for that reason only:
G.I. Joe = Team America: World Police: Real Life Edition
...But now that you say they're totally acting like action figures totally wipes out the "Real Life" part.
LMFAO i think there's only like 4 people in this world (myself included) who don't find him bang-worthy... at all. i'd rather hit that wayans bro any day! :D
Channing's a butter face. He's little dull looking, like you could get more human interaction out of wood slab or a cold stone; Both of which, by the way, have more acting talent and model potential than Mr. Tatum.
I prefer a face with personality and character, not something that looks like it was made by Cro-mag Mattel. He does have a nice body, if you like that anatomically-correct-GI-Joe-waxy-plastic-doll type (I don't particularly).
I've got to chime in to agree with Courtie and Harriet - Christopher Eccleston is far, far, far sexier and probably the only reason to go see the movie.
(Now the challenge is to find a place to go see the movie where no one knows me so I don't have to explain the indignity of buying a ticket to see GI Joe...)
Okay, I am watching it now.
Uhhhh.....yeah. Even Eccleston couldn't save this POS.
Honestly, the only good parts are Eccleston and JGL's scenes. And JGL's scenes are only good because they are FUCKING HILARIOUS. He looks like a reject character from the Hellboy franchise.
Just... just give this one a miss, everyone.
I've heard some stories about Channing Tatum's crotch, and it's most definitely not described as "smooth."
Posted by: John Foley | August 10, 2009 at 01:20 AM
I was so let down when I first heard that a GI Joe movie was coming into play.
Then I had some sort of hope that it would be mildly amusing.
Then all those hopes were flushed away when I found that it was a giant toy advertisement with B rate actors straight from the set of some made for Sci-Fi (or should I say Sy-Fy?) movie. BAH
Posted by: Rone | August 10, 2009 at 01:49 AM
I also do not get Channing Tatum. Like, at all. There have to be people out there who find him likable or attractive, but I have yet to meet one.
Posted by: Nicole | August 10, 2009 at 09:25 AM
Roger Ebert's opening line for his review is pretty awesome (and similar to yours).
Posted by: jeremy | August 10, 2009 at 09:32 AM
This movie was full on crap with the following exceptions
* The fight scenes with young Snake Eyes and Young Storm Shadow
* The fight scenes with adult Snake Eyes and adult Storm Shadow
* Any moment Storm Shadow was on screen.
The rest was pure A+ garbage.
Posted by: Julnyes | August 10, 2009 at 09:37 AM
http://getitfromboy.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/channing_tatum_shirtless.jpg
Posted by: a;ljkdfndflan | August 10, 2009 at 10:41 AM
He could be cute in that Cro-Magnon Neanderthal sort of way, but even then he'd still need to be hairy and by the looks of that link, he looks more like a resident of Chelsea or Hell's kitchen.
Posted by: Dirty Blonde | August 10, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Why is Channing Tatum a star (let alone an 'actor')?
Can someone please take a few seconds to explain that to me?
Posted by: S. | August 10, 2009 at 12:44 PM
He got worse as the movie went along. Brendan Frasier could have played the lead and left that cameo for someone else.
Posted by: ElectrolGirl | August 10, 2009 at 02:42 PM
There has to be someone else to blame for Channing Tatum. America CANNOT be responsible for that guy. (Please?)
Posted by: Blame Canada | August 10, 2009 at 03:39 PM
He has a penis. It's true.
Posted by: Jason | August 10, 2009 at 04:35 PM
I saw G.I. Joe last night.
It was just a series of explosions, fighting and destruction. Awful.
Posted by: Killian | August 10, 2009 at 07:21 PM
Channing Tatum IS SO fuckable!
Posted by: cptfabulous | August 10, 2009 at 08:01 PM
He's so fucking hot.
Posted by: Viv | August 11, 2009 at 12:20 AM
I haven't seen the movie yet, but I want to watch it because of one reason and for that reason only:
G.I. Joe = Team America: World Police: Real Life Edition
...But now that you say they're totally acting like action figures totally wipes out the "Real Life" part.
Posted by: fb | August 11, 2009 at 02:35 AM
LMFAO i think there's only like 4 people in this world (myself included) who don't find him bang-worthy... at all. i'd rather hit that wayans bro any day! :D
Posted by: soph | August 11, 2009 at 07:04 AM
IDGAF about Channing Tatum, I want to see this for my husband in my head Christopher Eccleston. Can I just go see it for him?
Posted by: Courtie | August 11, 2009 at 09:21 AM
I'm sure your review is spot-on accurate, but Channing Tatum is soooooo fuckable.
Posted by: Golden J | August 11, 2009 at 09:33 AM
Fit doesn't equal fuckable.
Channing's a butter face. He's little dull looking, like you could get more human interaction out of wood slab or a cold stone; Both of which, by the way, have more acting talent and model potential than Mr. Tatum.
I prefer a face with personality and character, not something that looks like it was made by Cro-mag Mattel. He does have a nice body, if you like that anatomically-correct-GI-Joe-waxy-plastic-doll type (I don't particularly).
Posted by: Chris | August 11, 2009 at 01:30 PM
Christopher Eccleston is farrrrrr sexier.
Posted by: Harriet | August 11, 2009 at 04:51 PM
I've got to chime in to agree with Courtie and Harriet - Christopher Eccleston is far, far, far sexier and probably the only reason to go see the movie.
(Now the challenge is to find a place to go see the movie where no one knows me so I don't have to explain the indignity of buying a ticket to see GI Joe...)
Posted by: Lola | August 11, 2009 at 07:07 PM
I agree with Harriet. Eccleston is hotter. Hell, Louie Anderson is hotter than Channing Tatum. OK, that's a stretch, but I just. don't. dig. his. rap.
Also, what's with Tatum's character wearing a keffiyah with his uniform? No US soldier would be caught dead wearing a Palestinian scarf.
Posted by: Langtry | August 13, 2009 at 12:11 AM
Okay, I am watching it now.
Uhhhh.....yeah. Even Eccleston couldn't save this POS.
Honestly, the only good parts are Eccleston and JGL's scenes. And JGL's scenes are only good because they are FUCKING HILARIOUS. He looks like a reject character from the Hellboy franchise.
Just... just give this one a miss, everyone.
Posted by: Courtie | August 13, 2009 at 11:07 AM
What about sienna miller? Isn't she in it?
Posted by: matthew | August 13, 2009 at 10:41 PM
499 x 683 - 116k - jpg
Pls to enjoy.
Posted by: missbish | August 15, 2009 at 07:16 AM