Best friends for never

Two awesome things happened on last night's season finale of Paris Hilton's My New BFF:

1. Despite having been eliminated last week because he's a boy (even though he's had that penis at lest since the first episode annnd even though Paris picked a boy, Sam, to be her British Best Friend), Stephen won!

 

(I think in addition to being her new BFF, he's also in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Tim Gunn.)

He didn't rejoin the competition or anything: when Stefanie and Tiniecia were standing in front of Paris at the final elimination ceremony, she called out his name instead. Her rationale was, "Although he’s a boy, he’s sweet, kind, cute, funny and real." I'm glad that a little thing like external genitalia didn't hold him back. Since boys are to this show what plus-size models are to ANTM, I found Stephen's win to be particularly triumphant. We should all eat some ice cream and wear (at least) clear mascara in his honor.

But really, I totally queened out and gasped in a room by myself last week when Paris eliminated him, so clearly, I was emotionally invested.

2. When it was down to (what they thought was) the Final 2, Tiniecia attempted the old reality trick of throwing her competitor under the bus via rationale I've never before witnessed: she accused Stefanie of smelling bad.

 

That was seriously the long and short of her explanation as to why Stefanie would make a bad friend. And it was mostly long, as she said it over and over and over again, each time more hilariously:

"She don't bathe a lot. It's not a good smell."

"Instead of saying, 'Stef, you funky, you stanky,' I just was like, 'Stef go ahead and get dressed while you take a bath...you know, you go ahead take a bath and I'll get your stuff ironed.' And she was like, 'No.'"

"I always was throwing her hints like, 'I'll get your clothes ready, you go take a shower.' That's a clue that you have a smell."

"She don't bathe and I throw hints in a nice way all the time. You know, 'I'll get your stuff together and you go take a bath.' She couldn't even take the hints. I wasn't about to be like, 'Stefanie, you funky, come on now.' I wasn't about to do that. I threw nice hints and if she can't take them, that's her being funky."

I love all the self-administered back-pats here. Clearly, Tiniecia is the Gandhi of restraint. This lack of self-awareness is almost good as that in this other quote from Tiniecia:

"Stefanie said I was inconsiderate. I went the fuck off on Stefanie." Yeah, there's no better way to prove your consideration than by going off on people.

Is it any wonder this chick didn't win?

And Steven or no Steven, I think we all (well, all four of us who follow this shit) know who the real winner was:

That's all the time the straight-dude competitor's name was mentioned in a single episode (I think the fifth). They were obsessed with him and he totally gave them something to do. Not that they appreciated it!

Comments

[fourfourfan]

That 'David' montage is the highlight of my day, and music to my ears.

[yanneng]

I did love Stephen and I couldn't believe that I got so emotionally invested in it because of him! Great collage btw!

[Michael]

Stephen was a grower.. (not literally), he bugged, and even tho his mouth and the way he spoke was just one of those things that grated my nerves he did end up seemingly sweet and nurturing. When he was booted, I felt bad and he probably had one of the most genuine responses that he may have actually joined a cheap reality show to simply be Paris' BFF, no strings attached.

If he had ulterior motives, he hid them well.

[Celso]

I can't believe you have not mentioned the ridiculous caricature that was Nicole. From her high pitched "LOVE YOU GORGEOUS" to her serial killer smiles & stares. I would have LOVED to see a montage clip of her insanity.

Also, was I the only one that noticed Tiniecia's uncoordinated blinks? Right would shut, then as it was opening the left would shut. Not that I watched the show that closely or anything...

[Bobby Pens]

Because I too was emotionally invested in Steven, I'm convinced that Paris getting rid of Steven was just a ploy to see how genuine he was about their friendship. And once she saw that he was still sweet as pie, she knew she could trust him. But I read books and stuff, so it's not like I've thought about this long since he was kicked off or anything.

[Wookie]

Damnit Rich, you got me addicted to this extremely guilty pleasure!!! Oh well, I'll take a good reality show when I can get it.

[matthew]

TEAM STEAPHANIEEE!!!!! No seriously, David was hot, even though he danced like a stereotypical straight guy.

[Craig]

I think the show should have had a twist where Paris revealed in the final episode that she was actually picking a BFF for... PEREZ Hilton. We might have gotten to see our very first on-air reality show suicide.

[generic cialis]

Seriously, Paris new shemale friend makes her looks like a stupid hag fag. I hate Paris and her horrid voice.

[Diesel jeans]

A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.

[Generic Viagra]

I don't think that she smells bad. I don't have problem to let her know if she smells bad.

[adult pedal cars]

A lovely story that moved me very much. A big hug from Austin, for all our grandmothers.

[adult go karts]

A lovely story that moved me very much. A big hug from Austin, for all our grandmothers.

[pedal go kart]

Thank you for this. I trust various internet sources, including reporters like you who post at OS, more than I do mainstream media to report an accurate picture of what is happening with this movement. Rated.