Yo, wassup. It's the monk-D, cock-D clip of all the awesomeness of Mark Wahlberg's 1993 workout video, from before he was a serious actor and was a...semi-serious actor:
My friend Steve gave me the VHS source of this material. Apparently, a few years ago Steve was working on a TV special or doc or something and wanted to include footage from this. The request was shut down by Marky or his people or whatever, obviously out of embarassment. I'm sure Marky has a closet full of those VHSes. I'm jealous. Anyway, I uploaded this to my secondary YouTube account because it very well could be quickly yanked if Marky really is sensitive about this shit. Watch while you can. Pow!
That's pretty much going to be the most awesome thing I've seen all week. I'm embarrassed for him!
Posted by: Sam | August 27, 2009 at 12:25 PM
I'm so glad you posted this. I've always cracked up at this paragraph--which has apparently been edited out, boo!--from the Mark Wahlberg entry on Wikipedia:
"He also made a workout video entitled The Marky Mark Workout: Form... Focus... Fitness. Although Wahlberg made several sexual references in the video, it was passed as exempt from classification because he was able to disguise them with hip hop slang. Notably, he says to a female participant before doing an exercise, 'If I get diesel (i.e. muscular), maybe I'll get some skins' (a reference to or of the labia)."
Posted by: Johnny | August 27, 2009 at 12:37 PM
If you close your eyes and listen to him, it sounds like he's in a porn flick.
Posted by: S. | August 27, 2009 at 12:40 PM
I *would* wonder why Serious Actor Mark Wahlberg takes himself so seriously, but now I see that Semi-Serious Actor Marky Mark took himself seriously too.
Posted by: Julie Kang | August 27, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Best line: "you gonna help me count?"
Posted by: Michael Sippey | August 27, 2009 at 12:44 PM
I think I need a shower.
Posted by: mary | August 27, 2009 at 01:13 PM
Okay, dumb as he is, he's still hot. As long as the sound is off. Plus, I'd do his workout as long as my body looked like his. Also? He has a third nipple just like me so I have to back him up!
Posted by: sonny | August 27, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Glad Turtle and Drama got some screen time.
Posted by: Beckylooo | August 27, 2009 at 01:34 PM
Wow, that was beyond amazing. Pow is right!
Posted by: Laura M. | August 27, 2009 at 02:20 PM
I felt sexually harassed by that video and I'm not even in it. That made my work week, POW!!
Posted by: Allison | August 27, 2009 at 02:35 PM
Ewwww... He's such a pervo. Lol.
I feel the need to shower, now.
Posted by: Melvin at Mouchois | August 27, 2009 at 02:47 PM
Jesus. This might as well have been the start of a porn. I don't even have sound on my computer here and I can tell he had sex with Chair Girl either before, during or after filming this. Hilarious.
Posted by: vicki | August 27, 2009 at 03:33 PM
POW! OMG. Hot & stupid, cuz. Thank you, Rich. Just THANK YOU.
Posted by: kim | August 27, 2009 at 04:06 PM
Honey Flies: Say hello to your mother for me.
Posted by: jennifer | August 27, 2009 at 04:25 PM
Is it just me or was chair girl his sister? Did I follow that correctly? This was a riot, it reminds me of my personal favorite psuedo-celeb workout tape: Alyssa Milano's Teen Steam, complete with extremely catchy theme song, excerpt: "teen, teen steam...gotta let it out!" Not to mention a dream sequence where Alyssa Milano meets a dream boy and has a big dance number with him. And then there's the bit where Alyssa's friend who's doing the workout falls alseep mid stretch. Its great!
Posted by: trixie | August 27, 2009 at 04:32 PM
Something tells me Paul Thomas Anderson got a hold of this before casting Boogie Nights.
Posted by: maria c | August 27, 2009 at 05:27 PM
Can't. stop. laughing! So tickled.
Posted by: Tracy | August 27, 2009 at 07:24 PM
This is like one of those sexual harassment training videos. Except now the harasser is the protagonist.
Posted by: Kevbo | August 27, 2009 at 07:35 PM
can't even think of anything clever to write because i'm laughing so hard. POW!!
Posted by: thealchemist | August 27, 2009 at 08:49 PM
OK, I had to watch this again.
You know what makes it so funny? How he looks so serious when he's yelling POW! I mean, even Emeril cracks a grin on BAM!
Posted by: kim | August 27, 2009 at 09:41 PM
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Posted by: Justin | August 28, 2009 at 12:05 AM
o wow, this is the best thing I've ever seen on this site.
y'all should check out leblogdegleopatra.blogspot.com
do it, do it.
Posted by: schadenfreude | August 28, 2009 at 04:23 AM
POW! Yo let me spot you later.
What a fucking douchebag.
Posted by: Melina | August 28, 2009 at 01:26 PM
I'm embarrassed how much I lusted after him back in the day. That Calvin Klein ad kept a lot of closeted mo's company. What a complete guido, tho.
Posted by: Joe | August 28, 2009 at 01:37 PM
Who else thinks Rich should be workout video Marky Mark for Halloween?
Posted by: Juan | August 28, 2009 at 01:58 PM