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October 07, 2009



Elegant, eloquent and beautifully put. Love it.


Why DO gay men love iconic women like Madonna? Your explanation is one of the best I've ever read and although I can't fully, completely relate to its reasoning, it makes a lot of sense and a part of me does relate! I agree with the post-Evita downgrade of love for her though.... I felt like I was going through the motions of being a gay man in love with Madonna with Music and American Life and everything after :|


This post was a joy to read. I hope you'll write a book someday--beautiful.


I love this post. Beautiful.


Lovely Rich! And I'm sure you already know about Sonic Youth's obsession with Madge but if you don't, it's worth finding out about.


Is it really bad that I cried a little while reading this?


This was fantastic! I don't think I've ever read something so eloquent regarding how someone appreciates Madonna.

This definitely made me think more concisely about how/why Madonna appeals to me in a way that's different from her descendants.


Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and conflicts about Madonna. This was a beautiful post.


Genius post. As usual. I over-identified with way too much of it. Especially that Tori Amos bit. When I was accused of being a homo in high school, I plastered posters of Tori Amos (and Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman) on my wall in an effort to prove that I loved the ladies. Thank you for reminding me that I wasn't the only one.


Wow. This is probably the best piece of writing I've ever read online. Nice work, Rich!


It's like you crawled into my life, and wrote that from my point of view. My personal experience with Madonna aligns with almost 100% of this, Rich (especially your growing up and not coming out til after college experiences). VERY well written. Maybe I need to come out to myself about my love for Madonna too.


I'll just be repetitive and say what a fantastic, awesome, beautiful post this is. For all the gay men that adore her, there have got to be many more that are just as conflicted. I just don't think anyone's summed it up any better than this.


Hey, I just found your blog and am already a huge fan. I instantly emailed your musings on Madonna to a few of my similarly conflicted friends. You have a clearity that is refreshing!


This was great!


Well said, Rich! When I was younger I also distanced myself from being one of "those gays", but eventually stopped caring. Though nobody wants to be seen as a cliche, it takes strength to celebrate what really speaks to you at any given time, regardless of who else likes it. As for the gay following, I agree that watching someone who doesn't follow rules is liberating, especially for a young gay person facing all sorts of societal restrictions.
I'm wondering what you thought of the title track on Celebration...


So honest. I'm glad you hit "Publish."


Write a book.
Please write a book.
This stuff is brilliant, intelligent social commentary and we need more of it in this world.


I've been reading your blog for years now. I've oohed and awwwed over Winston and I've howled over the old Runway reviews. But I will admit, sometimes I skip a line or two. Not today. Brilliant.


I loved it! So glad you hit "publish".


OMG RICH! Curfew. Lord - I was so there.

Donny B

"(Biggest regret of my life: I didn't so much as kiss a guy until my last semester of college. I could have had so much fun, though given the fact that it wasn't until I was 25 that I realized I was mortal, I also could have put myself in grave danger. Maybe things worked out for the best?)"

Wow, I could have written this paragraph myself, if I was as good a writer as you, as that's how closely your experience is to mine. I'm still stunned when kids come out in their early teens only a few years after I finally came out in my mid-20's.

Great post.

Vanessa M

I heart you Rich but Ray of Light is a freaking awesome album, including the title track.

I overlook that tho as you are probably the only other person who even remembers the Dick Tracy soundtrack. I swear that at this moment I have Hanky Panky on my iPod. I felt so alone till there was you.

Do you remember the final scene of Stand By Me where Richard Dreyfuss pauses like he might erase that whole story he just narrated? Your publish dilemna felt just a little like that.


Beautiful! I'm a straight girl HUGE Madonna fan. Truth or Dare is on DVD...

Bourgeois Nerd

I think Madonna and other "gay icon" types are attractive because they seem to be saying "FUCK YOU!" to the world in a way we want to but most of us don't. There's also often a tale of tragedy and adversity being overcome that appeals as well. I remember reading someone somewhere talk about how women like Joan Crawford and Judy Garland were such gay icons because they allowed gay men who had to stay in the closet an outlet.

My problems with Madonna in recent years are more that she's absolutely no fun. It probably was always there, but as she's gotten older and British and shed every ounce of fat humanly possible, all that seems to be left is nothing but steely determination to be famous and loved. It's not terribly attractive.


Wow this is absolutely my story.

Madonna has been the one constant in my life all along. Thank you for so eloquently stating all this.

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