Robowin

I could never pick my favorite artistic rendering of Winston (for your review, among them are Allison Harvard's painting, the clay plaque and The Adventures of Winston written by 5-year-old Ramona). That'd be like picking my favorite child that the child that I didn't give birth to didn't give birth to. But! I will say that the one above (done by my good friend Gail as part of an art project) would probably be Winston's choice as the most accurate representation of him. I like to imagine that he likes to imagine himself as a giant menacing cyborg. That's why he always feels bold enough to take my seat (every fucking time that I get up!) and shoot lasers at me.

Also, speaking of Winston, the Meowfail video I posted a few weeks ago ended up on the YouTube homepage (briefly?), opening up the dam for a flood of comments. Everyone knows that YouTube is the Internet's most valuable discourse source, right? What a gift! Anyway, people were apparently disturbed by the video, so that's, uh, new. Also, they were extremely hateful, which isn't very new. What follows is a list of my favorite comments (read all 1,000+ of them here):

Bluedeanie says: "your cat is dying and your just videotaping it asshole"

Tsteve08 says: "this is upsetting. the cat needs a doctor I would say."

flibodoor123 says: "this is horrible so your cat can barely meow take it to the doctor for goodness sake this is wrong"

LordChubChub says: "Poor kitty. You're a HORRIBLE OWNER for making fun of a poor kitty! We should rip out your vocal chords and she if you could meow after wards!"

hawker7886 says: "you guys removed it's voice box. Cruel!"

phr00ta says: "what an ugly piece of walking shit!"

tjalolx says: "haha crap cat"

jaxxfun13 says: "stupid shithead cat!!!!!!"

sqedwirnfeuosdnfsfss says: "wat the hell is this well that cat is u-g-l-y u dont got know alvie u ugly no homo"

jeff7069 says: "What type of person would get a cat that ugly. It hurts my eyes to see this.  I am a cat person, unless it is this breed."

kgsolaman5000 says: "I feel bad"

TEADRINKA says: "did he die"

Playstatiion3 says: "Sound Like Lil wayne XD"

LILCHIPETTEANGEL says: "2 all the ppl hating on the jkitty: ur just jealous and u probably have low self-esteem 2.....so why r u calling the cat ugly 4? its probably more cute and adorable than you'll ever be in ur life so stop making fun of him my gosh............"

jharrin123 says: "Um...maybe the collar is on too tight. Ever think of that?"

After much back and forth, DeclareAThumbWar says: "Look. I'm just saying that this looks to me as though this cat is thirsty. I'm not going around to every single fucking video saying 'THIS CAT IS BEING ABUSED!! TAKE THIS FILTH OFF!', in this case it LOOKS to me as though every time the cat is meowing it seems to be wanting something...and my best guess would be...hmm....WATER?! Since it is a silent meow?! I'm not saying that silent meows don't exist, it just seems to me that this cat is thirsty!"

youbestbequiet says: "Yeah How about giving the damn cat a drink you friggen animal abuser!"

robkt says: "As a former veterinary assistant, I can tell you that, if he usually makes noise and this is an odd occasion, then it is an upper respiratory infection and you should take him to the vet ASAP because some can be passed between humans and animals."

eurekatempleton says: "This isn't so much funny as it is worrying. Robby mentioned throat cancer, and that's what I was thinking. I think you should take your cat to the vet instead of making videos of his problem. He could be seriously sick or in pain while you're laughing...dick."

badmonk3829 says: "wow dude take this cat to the vet apparently something is wrong with him and you take his pain for entertainment now im an MP and in law enforcement careers and as of now this is animal cruelty, now i bet someone is going to be stupid and reply to me saying junk shit and w/e but it seems this cat is in pain so get it checked out cause it can lead an animal cruelty charge and/or a fine with the cat being taken from you"

tonyctampa says: "tht thing looks 20 years old...i was at my friends house yesterday and we walked into his grandmas next door and there was her cat layin on the dining room table stiff as a board..dead lol..it was like 16. we started laughing haha"

paintdataint says: "my uncle was the one who took care of me when i was 4 but he died in a car accident when i was five, right before i killed the cat."

So that's mostly hilarious. But on the real, I hope that YouTube isn't the only outlet these people have for their compassion for animals. I hope they're actually doing something with all that concern. Something, however, tells me that this is wishful thinking..

Comments

[Katie]

Robowin would make an awesome tattoo. Just sayin'.

[matt]

It occurs to me that there are FAR too many 13 year old kids with nothing better to do than comment on youtube videos. What the hell is wrong with these people. My cat does this all the time, and the cats I had before him (who did not die as a result of me depriving them of water or botched vocal cord removal or respitory infections but rather all ran away because i live in the woods and when they get 3 feet outside they are officially lost forever), all did it too, just like you said, when they've been sleeping for a while, they just go through the motions with meowing. My current cat is enough of a whiny bitch that he just does the silent meow until he finally has awakened his vocal cords enough to actually meow. I mean, really, even 13 year olds must have seen a cat before....

[matt]

Oh and I forgot, don't let parent's fool you, as a parent myself I have to say picking a favorite kid is not hard at all. You love them all equally, sure, but there's no way you like them all equally, and if someone says they do, they're full of crap! But I guess your favorite would change on a daily basis, so there's that to consider.

[Barbara]

I'm so glad that the internet has provided a medium for all these qualified veterinary opinions to be expressed.

[ger]

Apparently the line between "I'm a veterinarian" and "When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian" has been blurred.

[Chelsea]

Thank you for that heaping serving of LOLs.

[Candy]

I have never in my life commented on a YouTube video, and I have a hard time imagining the type of people who do. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have them over for cocktails.

I have a cat that has the same meow but I'm convinced it's because he's too lazy to come out with a real cry. Believe me, he can meow. He just chooses to squeak and squawk because it gets him more attention.

[Tadzio]

I'm pretty sure "robkt" the former vetinary assistant is Snookie.

[Merideth]

How did sqedwirnfeuosdnfsfss know you were gay?

[Tramputee]

As far as unprovable statements go, I think "I'm a former veterinary assistant" is the Youtube kitty vid comments equivilant of "I'm a 19 y/o bisexual cheerleader" in AOL chat rooms circa 1995.

[Faith]

I would just like to co-sign with Tramputee!

[Jade]

I never bother to read comments left on my youtube videos anymore. Youtube users are always idiotic and highly opinionated.

Winston is perfectly fine and normal. I had a cat that used to do this too. ;)

[CMD]

Tadzio, I thought the exact same thing...cats and humans can NOT pass cold viruses to each other. Eye roll.

I actually AM currently a Vet Tech, and I also have an Exotic Shorthair cat. I can vouch for the fact that they are "challenged" in many different ways...even their meow is "special". The breed is a very acquired taste ;)

Winston seems actually pretty normal as far as Exotics go. If you can believe that....

[Kirsten]

I'm a vet. The cat sounds fine. My cat does something similar.

Jeez people, get a life.

[Joie]

I might regret saying this since it's going to reveal my nerdy obsessive knowledge of all things Sex and the City, but...

Does anyone else remember the episode where Samantha's vibrator/neck massager dies? Because the sound Winston makes at :30 sounds just like it, and it cracks me up every time.

That said, I try to avoid reading YouTube comments because I don't like realizing how outspoken, obnoxious, and ignorant people there are in the world. But those were pretty hilarious.

[rustyspigot]

Oh, God. I'm surprised someone didn't diagnose him with aspergers.

[cathy]

our cat echo has a long history of what we call "silent mew", particularly when she's already making eye contact. from another room she's belt it out like a chinese opera, but choosing a more subtle approach at other times.

winston is not alone.

[Jerome]

Rich, my kitty Kylie is also a constant (and I mean CONSTANT) meower and, like Winston, sometimes gets a sore throat and lets out those very cute hoarse meows after she's been meowing her ass off at us for like four hours straight. It is literally the cutest thing ever, and we have taped it too. My point being, fuck the haters. Winston is very cute and, if those people watched any of your other videos, they would notice that he is clearly loved and adored.

[ashleebbb]

This just became my desktop picture.

[Fiona]

I really want to see The Adventures of RoboWin! With his surly but beautiful sidekick Rudy as well obviously.

[Jesi]

ohmygod! Rich, I am so sorry for all the lame asses on youtube. I watched that vid several times and didn't ever think you were being abusive and/or that Winston was sick. And I'm so sorry that none of those lame asses can spell!

[sairentohiru]

Yes, Winston is horribly abused. Anyone who reads your blog knows that he is completely neglected and unloved, not just by you but by scores of your readers.

/ sarcasm

[Lara]

omg, I don't have any tattoos (what am I, made of money?) but I would love a robowin tattoo.

[Megaroni]

"wat the hell is this well that cat is u-g-l-y u dont got know alvie u ugly no homo" <----- What the hell is this?!
Man I lost it reading those posts.
Winston is much loved.

[Meghan]

oh man, my can sounds just like that quite often. I hope I'm not abusing him with the fuzzy blankets he gets to sleep on, the expensive vet food I feed him, and taking him to the vet for his shots. What kind of cat owner am I?!