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January 28, 2010



Love love love the snark! You said it all.


I can't believe you actually listened to her album and lived to tell about it. My brain would spontaneously combust if I heard more than 10 seconds of any of her songs.


I feel like this article just crossed out "paris" and wrote in Heidi. I am impressed you reviewed it at all.


Kudos for listening to this crap.


honestly, I think she'd sell 50x more albums if she released the non-autotuned version. It would blow lonely island's album out of the water for best comedy album of the year.


I agree with the "Blackout" comparison. It's basically the lowest-rent form of a Britney album. I listed to it in amazement... it just blows my mind how something could be so shitty.


Love your writing. Amazing. I feel like I listened to the album already ... and barfed.


You forgot the best part of this whole album...

In the song "I'll Do It", she sings how she wants to fulfill the fantasy of her listener. She'll be "your blonde tonight, if thats you like, stilettos and fishnets, if that's what you like," or a "school girl in curls,". But what Heidi Montag really wants is stated once in the song. She says, and I quote, "Come eat these panties off of me,"

:) Gotta love the class this gal has.


i must confess that i kinda want to listen to it after reading this review. law of unintended consequences.


It's terrible. That said, I do love "One More Drink." Mostly for the tragic subtext. Although, at this point, there's nothing that sub- about it.


This is one of the most beautiful reamings of an album ever.


I never thought I would see or hear anyone more vapid than Paris Hilton....

Bravo, Heidi....Bravo.


That Spencer idiot is trying to exploit her for every penny he can. It's sad and disgusting. I hate her a lot less than I hate him.


Would you rather eat Heidi Montag's or Ke$ha's panties?


The disturbing part is that she's said this album cost a million dollars to produce.


The album was released with a hilariously low opening-week total of 658 copies.
Kesha, meanwhile, opened with 152,000 copies.


Not that I'd want you to stop, when your reviews are this (apocalyptically) fun - I loved the title especially, and while you're certainly not one of the trash-proliferating blogs you talk about, I wonder if it wouldn't be better, for civilization, to ignore this shit completely. The old rule applies, particularly with this kind of stuff: there's no such thing as bad publicity, even when it's shattering criticism like yours - everything feeds it. I don't want to seem unnecessarily heavy, but I think it's almost becoming necessary to make a serious rejection of the abject "cultural" noise out there. It's just getting nauseating - it's hard to humour it at all anymore, don't you think? It'd be nice to think a kid growing up now - I'm thinking of my nephew - wouldn't have to grow into the cynicism that people like myself have had to adopt in defense, and if there were something of real cultural significance, instead, to bring something vital to his life. Just thinking out loud - your review struck me as having more serious implications, I guess, than you likely intended.


So well said. Thank you Rich.


I got really caught when you wrote "because of when you" ... and couldn't stop reading that over and over. I can't figure out if it's incorrect grammar or if I'm just weird. ?


"equidistant between a coo and a croak"- Yep. You're my hero. Also, it definitely makes me LOL/ROTFL/FML (all three, all at once)to think of Heidi reading this statement and needing to look up the word 'equidistant'.


who actually bought that album? Wowwwww! I'm lovin your blog!


good points, couldn't agree more, great post ,keep up the good work

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I didn't know heidi and I listen to some of her song and it's not good... Great article

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great article... maybe her butt will make her some money?

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