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November 16, 2011



Oh my god, when you tweeted a couple weeks ago that you had just gotten home from a pageant, I could not WAIT for your write up. And it's as good as I could have hoped for!! And the fact that Toddlers & Tiaras was there that day filming is even better!! I completely guffawed at "two Janet Jacksons (both of the "Rhythm Nation 1814" all back everything era, though only one had a hoop earring with a key in it and yes I did reward her for the attention to detail)" Also, how could someone not appreciate a comment like 'This kid's got swagger'?? Amazing. Great work!!


this is amazing--I like how the edited piece turned out, but the longer one is better. when will "your" episode air?

Miss Lisa

Oh. My. God. Living the dream.

April (Aurienne)

My FB feed looks odd -- the post before linking this one is one about the Ms Magazine premiere (an oral history on NYMag.com -- I found it while looking for the WorkofArt recaps.)

I don't know if my friends think I've lost all feminism or am just confused or what -- actually, I'm just amused by all variations of expression.

I definitely enjoyed reading this, and I'm glad that you both had fun, had a great experience, AND that you have what seems like a cool boss that lets you post your long-versions "privately".


I sometimes watch Toddlers & Tiaras (in between episodes of Hoarders, because who doesn't like to watch TV about the collapse of society?) As horrifyingly entertaining as T&T is, this article made the whole debacle of pageants even more so. Now when I watch T&T, I'm going to picture you sitting just off camera, looking amused and a bit bewildered.


"I was selected to lead and moderate the discussion, which thrilled me." - Reminds me of how visibly excited you were when the local news came to talk to your class about the space shuttle.


I've been looking forward to this ever since you mentioned it on twitter. You've made my day.


This was awesome!

State Penn

When I think of State Penn, and Football, I have to wonder if what happens to little boys wanting to play football happens to little girls wanting to play Lady Gaga.

Srsly. Nuke it from orbit, its the only way to be sure.

rachel h

ahhh, this is like vintage rich. GREAT story!


OMFG!!!! i just typed that before reading your article because I am so excited!!!


Loved the post. Loved!


I'm tickled you got to judge a pageant and got to see a bit of the goings on that actually occur. I'm also happy that you found it was a fairly positive experience. I wish that during my days on the circuit (ye olden times, before there were even "flippers", I am so ancient)a judge had commented that I possessed swagger. "Poise" just doesn't seem as cool.


This article just confirms for me that pagent moms give their daughters the most terrible names


Yes! Yes! I loved this; this is the full-throttle, glitz and grim, and pop cultural schadenfreude that drew me to this blog and you (you beautiful man, you) in the first place!

You rock, Rich. Thanks for this.


This is a wonderful article - I've been reading parts of it aloud to my ill-with-fever boyfriend and we were both terribly amused by the meth addict comparison. And the fighting breast cancer routine sounds really special. Really hope I can catch the episode via streaming!

Also, this is totally sappy, but it's great to see how your career's developing and giving you these invites to Bizarro world - and a Chuck Palahniuk interview, awesome!


DELIGHTED by this!
I was a pageant child by accident. My school selected me to compete in a Little Miss pageant that corresponded with the State's feeder into the Miss America pageant. My mother wasn't into it, and I was totally confused by it, but we had a good time. It was a natural pageant, and the judges loved now "not into it" I was, so I won. It was awesome for five minutes, then it was just hair teasing and white patent leather shoes I couldn't get dirty.

Later, I entered a glitz pageant and lost. That one was not fun at all--girls crying everywhere! That was my last. Thanks, Mom!

Nice to hear your POV of the normalcy of the abnormal. But it's always nice to get your POV on anything.

Aleksandra Daina

"It was the cherry on top of over-the-top." no, YOU are! this was hilarious. thank you! <3


"Great cans!" Thank you, Rich--thoroughly enjoyed your write-up. Can you tell us the number or title of the episode? I don't have cable, but I'll be looking for it online.


This was hilarious! Your comments about the contestants were something else! And that 9.4 business, that's a scream! I watch Toddlers and Tiaras mostly to snark about it on TwoP. I've seen Annette Hill many times so your take on her was very interesting. I'm sure the parents would be impressed to know you didn't have a clue. You know this is life and death to them!!!


I was shocked to find this out, as there was so much blather about it on the internet and in old news reports. But there is nothing.


Amazing! Hilarious.




I think the only thing that would have topped the pageant with even more cherry would have been Winston dressed in a full glitz dress coming out on stage at the end of the show. I challenge you to dress him up in full glitz, Rich. :)


Wow. This was amazing. Nicely done!

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