fourfour

You will see me again

 

With last week's end of America's Next Top Model Cycle 15, I thought this cut of exit interviews throughout the years was appropriate. Above are some of the more self-aggrandizing examples that being eliminated has produced -- so many of these girls vow to us that we'll see them again and that they'll be as big as Tyra Banks promised. How many of the 50 or so girls above have made good on that promise? The answer, of course, is virtually zero (I guess Fatima has done all right?). I don't know if that makes this video hilarious or so, so sad (but I'm thinking it's the latter).

This cliche is, of course, prevalent on unscripted TV in general (American Idol has a large number of people who voice such this-isn't-the-last-you've-seen-of-me sentiment), but I think it's hilarious how many examples come from ANTM alone. A lot of girls would kill to be saying, "A lot of girls would kill..." upon being eliminated from clown school, apparently.

(All credit goes to reader Mike [aka rustyspigot] for giving me this idea over a year ago. Sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake, but I generally come around.)

ANTMore

This is fucking hilarious:

I didn't pay any attention to The Tyra Banks Show's ANTM spin-off, Modelville, mostly because it ran at the same time ANTM was on, and between watching that show and the hours spent recapping it, I had my model quota more than filled on a weekly basis. However, an in-the-know friend told me that the final episode was going to be something else, and so it was -- when Tyra finally named Cycle 10's Dominique the winner of the five ANTM alumnae competing for a $50,000 contract with Carol's Daughter, the head bitch of Cycle 8 and first-runner-up of Modelville, Renee, flipped her shit. She was unable to contain her disappointment and freaked out like the brat we all knew she was. At one point, she lamented only having $11 in her bank account. In the words of Megan to Rodeo at the I Love Money reunion: get a job!

Of course, I can't hate too much -- if there's one thing that ANTM has taught me it's that awesome is awesome, no matter how despicable its path. So thanks, Renee, for the entertainment.

(Oh, and my heart kinda leaped when Dom won, just 'cause she's an underdog and all. I feel like this is retribution for the trannies of the world, after Isis' terrible showing on Cycle 11.)

And since I'm on the ANTM tip once again, I figure now's as good of a time as any to tie up those loose Jellybag entries from Cycle 11. Some reader-submitted shit that made me laugh as well as a special moment with Janice Dickinson is after the jump...

ANTMc

After months of an intense search that involved Sithian hoods, Aswirl, assimilation advocacy and clothespins on ill-fitting sub-Talbots shit, we have our winner:

Hottest one yet!

So...

...what do we think of the ANTM Cycle 11 winner?

I prefer butter

The most appropriate response to the passing of Marjorie is awkward silence. See above.

Weekend bonus: Further Sheenification

It would be wrong of me to keep from you footage of Sheena talking about how extra-long nails create difficult bathroom situations, her vagina-arms reveal, her meeting Winston and further cyborg discourse, so below is a reel of outtakes that didn't make the interview that I posted last week. Enjoy it with a slice of face bread.

Fashion monster!

Fashion monsterrrrr!

Ha! I totally called this shit inside and out!

So, look: I turned 30

It happened Sunday. I celebrated Saturday, and even though I tried to get a recap done for today, it just didn't happen. Sorry for the empty-handed Monday two weeks in a row now, but this weekend was kind of monumental for me. I am extremely lucky to have the friends that I do, who eased me into this supposedly new phase of life via one of the best nights I've ever had.

So yeah, recap will be done Monday night or Tuesday morning. It could be that you only visit this blog on Mondays, in which case if you look one post down, you'll see that there's an interview I did with Sheena. So you can watch that. Or, I don't know, read another blog written by someone who's more responsible. Clearly, I'm not taking maturity lying down.

Sheena and me

Hey, look! Sheena came over and we talked, Inside the Actors Studio-style!

Desheenafied

I'm sorry, but this judging made no sense. Sheena gets kicked off the week that she's at her most Nomi Malone-esque?

What kind of a farce is this?