fourfour: ANTM Cycle 5

You will see me again

With last week's end of America's Next Top Model Cycle 15, I thought this cut of exit interviews throughout the years was appropriate. Above are some of the more self-aggrandizing examples that being eliminated has produced -- so many of these girls vow to us that we'll see them again and that they'll be as big as Tyra Banks promised. How many of the 50 or so girls above have made good on that promise? The answer, of course, is virtually zero (I guess Fatima has done all right?). I don't know if that makes this video hilarious or so, so sad (but I'm thinking it's the latter).

This cliche is, of course, prevalent on unscripted TV in general (American Idol has a large number of people who voice such this-isn't-the-last-you've-seen-of-me sentiment), but I think it's hilarious how many examples come from ANTM alone. A lot of girls would kill to be saying, "A lot of girls would kill..." upon being eliminated from clown school, apparently.

(All credit goes to reader Mike [aka rustyspigot] for giving me this idea over a year ago. Sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake, but I generally come around.)

Posted at 02:09 PM in America's Next Top Model, ANTM, ANTM Cycle 10, ANTM Cycle 11, ANTM Cycle 12, ANTM Cycle 13, ANTM Cycle 14, ANTM Cycle 15, ANTM Cycle 5, ANTM Cycle 6, ANTM Cycle 7, ANTM Cycle 8, ANTM Cycle 9, Supercuts, TV | Permalink | Comments (51)

Haha, Kim Stolz is such a mega-bitch

So, I guess Cycle 5's Kim Stotz felt that the reference to the "interviewer with attitude" in this week's photo shoot (as lifelessly embodied by Annaleigh and then over-praised by the judges...but more on that Monday, obviously) was a dig at her (rationale from third-party Jim Cantiello is here). She wrote a sarcastic letter to TyTy in response and then spoofed this week's elimination in a dead-on video in that same post (I mean, it's on-point right down to the purposely shitty voice-over dubbing). I think it's hilarious.

Even though acknowledging the implied slight is behaving sort of Tyra-ish ("I see myself in everything!"), props to Kim for being the most outspoken anti-ANTM alum since Adrianne Curry. She should get to fuck Eve Plumb as a prize for this or something.

Posted at 03:00 PM in America's Next Top Model, ANTM Cycle 5, TV | Permalink | Comments (66)

Cream of the Top

The homoeroticism! The impetigo! The snaggle tooth! The princess of the throne! The shrub named Cousin It! The bitch who poured beer on Tiffany's weave! It was all repackaged and broadcast last night in the space-filler special Top Model Exposed. Despite being recently accused of "worshiping" the show, I don't think that the case could be made that I'm anything but (lovingly!) critical of it. However, one thing that I'll never have anything but admiration for is the editing, which is superb not just for reality TV, but TV period. It is, to put it ANTMly, as tight as Nigel's ass. Because of this, TME was thoroughly watchable, as it organized major themes from various cycles (semi-finals drama, phone drama, hair drama, drama drama, etc.) and featured past contestants discussing them (because, let's face it: what else do these girls have to do but relive their reality TV glory?). The only segments that the show was missing were spots on the black bitches of ANTM history and a roundup of ailments. But that could still be on the way: part 2 of this thing airs next week. Whoo-hoo.

If you missed it, this clip is a great indication of how the show worked. In it, various girls talk about Miss J's contribution to the show and their lives. Nothing brings out the fun like some gender confusion!

Oh, but maybe the special's biggest revelation was this shot:

Antm_exposed_c1_group_2

For the first time in years, ANTM has acknowledged Adrianne Curry's participation in the show (albeit for a split second). So she does exist!

After the jump, a quick rundown of what really matters: how everyone looks!

Continue reading "Cream of the Top" »

Posted at 12:43 PM in America's Next Top Model, ANTM Cycle 5, ANTM Cycle 6, ANTM Cycle 7, ANTM Cycle 8, ANTM Cycle 9, TV | Permalink | Comments (88)

Waiting for tonight

To get you ready for tonight's cycle premiere of ANTM, I've compiled a greatest-hits package of sorts after the jump: it's a big cluster of some of my favorite animated gifs I've made over the cycles. On my own and via some help (thanks to Erin and Caitlin), I've noticed a few sites have made big posts of gifs that I've taken and I have to say that a sea of mugging Tyras all on one page is pretty fucking hypnotizing. So, to reclaim what I've essentially taken from television, I thought I'd compile my own. Call it a wall of motion. Call it my art. Call it the extent of my accomplishment in my 28 years on earth.

Going over my files, I found the first Tyra gif I ever made in a folder simply titled "Tyra gif." To think that there was a day when there was just one!

Orig

And now, grabbing frames from DVD and threading them together is practically second nature to me. I've evolved so much as a person! Thank you, ANTM!

Keep in mind that there are tons of gifs below, so the page is going to take a while to load. Hit the jump an then go do something productive. I suggest flossing. Seriously, it's important and there's no worse smell on earth than plaque breath. You don't want people to think you have a rotting corpse in your mouth when you talk to them, do you?

Continue reading "Waiting for tonight" »

Posted at 11:55 AM in America's Next Top Model, ANTM Cycle 5, ANTM Cycle 6, ANTM Cycle 7, ANTM Cycle 8, ANTM Cycle 9, Gif Walls, TV | Permalink | Comments (104)