So Ambreal didn't listen to her dad...
...but she did prove herself to be one hell of a good sport...
...who really knows how to make an exit...
...I might not want her up in my magazines, but you can be sure as Chigurh that I'd invite her to a cocktail party. Awesome that I started loving Ambreal 30 seconds before she disappeared from my life forever!
But enough about her. There are more pressing matters to attend to.
Hottest. Model. Ever.
I mean, seriously, putting the big girl in netting? I love how this outfit shows signs of stretching over Sarah's problem areas, giant O's, as if the outfit itself is bitchily saying, "Oh, woooooow!"
I'll get this out now and speak no more of it: I'm not mad at Tyra & Co., for eliminating Sarah, per se. The not-plus-enough argument actually seems plausible. But maybe that's because I've heard it so damn much: during this cycle's first episode, Tyra herself laid out what would come to be Sarah's curse (and twice!): "Looking at your body, I see a girl that could be a plus-size model, but is on the thinner side of that,: and, "I'm just a little concerned that she's a little small for plus." It was there all along, and Sarah didn't have to click her (undoubtedly slightly wide) shoes or anything. They really toyed with her, but because of the blatant foreshadowing, I should have seen this coming. Mostly, I'm mad at myself.
If this picture is crappy...
...it's only appropriate. Ebony was sick of smelling Tyra's bullshit and it showed on her face. Uncensored honesty -- how refreshing. This photo is like the visual equivalent of a Glade Plug-In.
Continue reading "Despite what she says, Tyra Banks is not Jesus Christ" »
Tyra repeatedly complimented Kimberly's ears, saying that they were "one of my favorite parts of you" (even though there are, like, two of them) and "some of the most perfect ears for a frame of a face that I have ever seen." There are two things to learn from this. 1) Like Iggy Pop, Tyra Banks has probably had it in the ear before (and loved it!), and 2) Tyra Banks is extremely observant.
See? Without her ears showing Kimberly is nothing! Nothing!
Upon releasing Mila, Tyra realized that what she was doing was, in fact, a lot like releasing the hounds.
Except, there was only one.
I love this shot because it was a split-second crack in the facade of a perpetual optimist. She's eliminated and she has to endure Ebony's pawing? Why not glue some giant sequins on her face and tell her she's a fish to create the most unfortunate send-off ever in Top. Model. History?
Also, during her exit interview, Mila said, "I think if you concentrate on the positive, the negative things go away." And yet, someone so upbeat is the thing that's going away at this moment.
(Image courtesey Jonno and his Flickr.)
So, I have to admit that I was dreading this. The past four months have been blissfully recap-free in these parts, and the vacation of sorts more than made up for the hit my traffic took as a result. I worried about getting back into these recaps -- had I lost my touch? Did I even have anything to say about this show anymore? Was I still willing devote all the time that these recaps recaps?
I still wasn't sure as I watched the opening of the admittedly awesome Cycle 9 premiere of ANTM on Wednesday. And then, my destiny became clear. There was no turning back. See, just a few minutes in, there it was, smiling at me:
Ah. This image is so comforting, it's as though I'm reentering the womb...through Tyra's arm.
It feels so good to be back.
...ANTM recaps will be up on Mondays. Duh.
If you wanna be rude about it, we can be rude about it, Cracker Wack. If you don't get that stank look off your face, I'll wipe it off with my secret weapon. Its name is Tuesday.
Bitch, don't tempt me.
(But really: how great was that episode? And it was just a stupid semi-finals show. If I don't see this show for a while, I forget just how deep my love is for it. ANTM is like the televised equivalent of my grandma.)
To get you ready for tonight's cycle premiere of ANTM, I've compiled a greatest-hits package of sorts after the jump: it's a big cluster of some of my favorite animated gifs I've made over the cycles. On my own and via some help (thanks to Erin and Caitlin), I've noticed a few sites have made big posts of gifs that I've taken and I have to say that a sea of mugging Tyras all on one page is pretty fucking hypnotizing. So, to reclaim what I've essentially taken from television, I thought I'd compile my own. Call it a wall of motion. Call it my art. Call it the extent of my accomplishment in my 28 years on earth.
Going over my files, I found the first Tyra gif I ever made in a folder simply titled "Tyra gif." To think that there was a day when there was just one!
And now, grabbing frames from DVD and threading them together is practically second nature to me. I've evolved so much as a person! Thank you, ANTM!
Keep in mind that there are tons of gifs below, so the page is going to take a while to load. Hit the jump an then go do something productive. I suggest flossing. Seriously, it's important and there's no worse smell on earth than plaque breath. You don't want people to think you have a rotting corpse in your mouth when you talk to them, do you?
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