fourfour

If Angelina can leave, so can I

I have nothing to say about last night's Jersey Chore/Snore/Bore. After last week's gleeful declaration of sexist double standards, I figured I was pretty much done with it and this week, I found I was pretty much right. (Really, even Pauly's squandering his likability with enough nonsense hollering to make him unwatchably obnoxious at this point?) When Snooki and Angelina took part in two (two!) rounds of a physical altercation, I felt like I was watching my mommies fight. I don't know what I wanted more: for them to stop or for them to kill each other so I could get the TV back.

I'm going to stick out the viewing till the end of this season (and next season's return to Jersey is tantalizing, for sure), but the recapping may be over. One of the worst things you can do (outside of the realm of human atrocity) is speak when you have nothing to say. It would be helpful if the cast of Jersey Shore knew this, but no matter: I'm transcending anyway.

The lesson of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 9

That's right, lesson. There's only one this week:

These people are gross. And not gross ha-ha.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 8

 

The only sweeter sentiment we've seen all season came in the form of a Fossil watch.

(Obviously, this is coming at you way late, but completism impels me.)

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 7

This is the concept of "save me from myself" defined visually.

For now, I'm all...

 

Jersey Shore recap won't be up for a while, but it will be up...eventually.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 6

Gee, I can't at all imagine what that feels like.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 5

Ah, the eternal question.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 4

Be that as it may, Drama-free isn't on the show. Unfortunately.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 3

New developments. NEW DEVELOPMENTS. NEW DEVELOPMENTS. NEW DEVELOPMENTS.

The lessons of Jersey Shore: Season 2, Episode 2

Here's a fun game:

 

Find a song that synchronizes with Snooki's head bobbing and listen to it on repeat forever while looking at that gif. Mindless is how we roll from here on out.